b1rd brane

Man, somedays it just doesn't pay to be a DE.

I meet this guy at the airport for his private checkride. He's on time, the
logs and paperwork look fine and he pays me.

Right about there is when it all started going to hell. My first question
was a simple one; "tell me the difference in rotating beacon colors". After
he fumbled around in the FARs for a half an hour, I said "let's just move
on" but he insisted on finding the answer he should have already known. It
finally dawned on him where he should look for the answer after I said
"maybe it's in the AIM" for the 3rd time.

I then ask him if it's legal to shuttle parts around for his company with a
private pilot certificate. He said "Yes, I will just say it's incidental to
the flight or whatever it is I need to say". I pointed out this was not
true, and that he really needs to study a bit more. He came off as a
know-it-all, saying something about "flying for the regionals in a few
weeks" or some such nonsense.

At this point we go out to the plane. He starts it up and it takes off
straight for a fence! Luckily, I stop it just in the nick of time. I tell
him "You really should test the brakes after you start the engine" and he
says "I don't think it's necessary, and I'm PIC. Different people have
different techniques".

I really should have discontinued the checkride at this point but against my
better judgment we continue. I ask him for a soft field takeoff. He cranks
it up to about 80 knots and yanks the yoke back, climbing out almost
straight up. I mention we should have held the yoke all the way back at the
start of the takeoff roll and flown in ground effect after leaving the
ground in order to build air speed for rotation. He says "You do it your
way, and I'll do it mine - OK, buddy?"... Ah, sure... Then he decides to
climb out just above a stall. I ask him to lower the nose to help us keep
an eye out for traffic but I don't think he was paying attention.

We eventually meander to out first checkpoint way late. I ask him if he
knows why this is, he mumbles something about 5 knots difference in climbout
speed; all I can say is "Ummm ... suuure". I think he thought I was
*agreeing* with him!

We divert over to another airfield; surprisingly the plane survives the
landings. I was happy to get out of there, and I was anxious to finish the
flight as this was the first time in my 10,000+ hours I started to feel
airsick.

Out of morbid curiosity, I decided to see what this guy would do under the
hood. I stabilize the plane (firs time for the flight) and get him to put
on the hood. I ask for the easiest maneuver I could think of, a simple
straight and level climb and descent. I hand him the controls and before I
know it, we were in a graveyard spiral! The VSI was pegged and he had the
yoke pulled back as hard as possible. I say "My airplane" and attempt to
save our lives - and this guy is FIGHTING me; yelling something about "I'm
PIC, dammit!".

Luckily the guy is a little weenie and I wrestle the controls from him. I
have had enough of this nightmare. I fly us home and write this fool up.

Much to my amazement, I get to work the next day and this guy has called my
manager. We both have a great laugh!

gord

ROFL!!!! Doug, are you reading this??

Gord

my

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xavierbuckridge

Gosh dang it! You beat me to it!!!!

paul folbrecht

You sound like a real prick of a DE.

Just kidding.

mackfly

This whole thing may be the biggest fake story--make that two stories, ever on
this newsgroup. Mac

jon kraus

Pleae don't feed the Trolls... Their stories are getting lame..

roger long

One indication is that Douggie doesn't appear in the FAA pilot database.
Students with medicals usually show up unless they opted out.

It's not conclusive but I think this may be one of the most successful
trolls ever to show up in this group.
--
Roger Long

c j campbell

There is a Jessica Rinks, a student pilot, who shows up in the database. The
phone book shows only one Rinks in all of New Mexico (Walter D), and there
are none at all in Arizona.

Besides, who would name their kid D Rinks?

jack allison

ROTFL. This was great, especially in light of that other rather lengthy
potentially troll infested thread.

--
Jack Allison
PP-ASEL

"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the Earth
with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there
you will always long to return"
- Leonardo Da Vinci

(Remove the obvious from address to reply via e-mail)

mrqb

I wonder if any DE's have knocked a examinee out? To save their lives!


my