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The Left Coast Report
A Political Look at Hollywood
By James Hirsen
November 11, 2003
A NewsMax Report

Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories):
1. Abraham Foxman's Latest Attack on Mel Gibson
2. Babs' Secret Directing Session
3. Susan Sarandon's Hillary Hate
4. Beatle Bolshevism
5. Christina Aguilera's Nasty Habit
6. Commerce Minister Says Minnie Driver May Harm Cambodia
7. Lawyer May Get Bopped for Singing Bob Marley Tune


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1. Abraham Foxman's Latest Attack on Mel Gibson

The national director of the Anti-Defamation League, Abraham Foxman,
is apparently so obsessed with stopping Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion of
Christ" that he has inadvertently exposed the reason why he has been so
vocal in his opposition.

At ADL's annual meeting in New York, Foxman was in hyper hit mode. In
a one-sided panel discussion titled "Mel Gibson's The Passion: A
Conversation on Its Implications for Jews and Christians," Foxman warned the
world of a dangerous practice that could cause "hate crimes against Jews."

What "dangerous practice" was he speaking of? What was the treacherous
practice that was causing trepidation and creating concern that "hate crimes
against Jews" might occur?

Well, the threat he was speaking of happens to be the cornerstone
doctrine of the Christian faith -- the Passion, Death and Resurrection of
Jesus Christ -- best known to believers as Easter.

Foxman declared that "hate crimes [against Jews] go up Easter week
worldwide." He then surmised that the reason this occurs is because in
Christian churches around the world a "sermon is given about the passion [of
Christ]."

So, evidently Foxman's solution for eliminating anti-Semitism is not
just to snuff out Gibson's film but also to extinguish Easter as Christians
know it.

Foxman wasn't finished with his yak blitz yet. He proceeded to launch
his most underhanded attack on Gibson to date: "I think he's [Gibson's]
infected -- seriously infected -- with some very, very serious anti-Semitic
views."

These words puked out of the leader of an organization that purports
to stand for tolerance. Like an angry villager in a Boris Karloff movie,
Foxman looks as if he has become the kind of monster his organization has
been pursuing for 90 years. He's spewing deceitful accusations and showing
everyone exactly what hate speech sounds like.

At ADL's gathering, two other panelists got into the Gibson attack
groove. But their angle was that of harassment.

Paula Fredriksen, professor of theology at Boston University (and one
of the original so-called scholars who condemned the film based on a stolen
and out-of-date script), claimed that she had received "drive-by e-mail."

And Sister Mary C. Boys, a professor of Judeo-Christian Studies at New
York's Union Theological Seminary, said that she had received harassing
phone calls, hate mail and e-mails from Gibson's supporters.

Guess spam is more than some libs are capable of bearing. Or maybe
Foxman, Fredriksen and Boys just have a really, really stubborn case of
chronic secularism.

The Left Coast Report predicts that, despite the theatrics of Foxman
and chums, "The Passion of Christ" will open at the start of the Lenten
season to cinematic triumph and box office glory.

2. Babs' Secret Directing Session

Barbra Streisand has quite a reputation -- for being demanding, that
is.

The New York Post reported that in a recent appearance on Oprah, the
songster demanded that a black microphone be repainted in beige to match her
outfit.

So, it's not hard to believe sources when they say that on a visit to
the Montreal set of Viacom's miniseries "The Reagans," Streisand was no mere
passive observer.

Barbra had given the impression that she was uninvolved in the
production of the controversial made-for-TV -- now made-for-cable -- flick.

But sources indicate that after director Robert Allan Ackerman
finished one of the scenes, the not-so-bashful Babs butted in with her
directorial suggestions.

As a result, the cast and the crew had to remain on the set for an
extra four hours while the scene was re-enacted to comply with Streisand's
movie-making instructions.

The Left Coast Report asks if Streisand was the one who had hubby
James Brolin made up to look like the spray-painted Al Gore from the
Bush/Gore debates.

3. Susan Sarandon's Hillary Hate

You wouldn't expect anything bad about Hillary to fly out of the mouth
of a prominent Hollywood lefty. But it's happened.

In Index magazine, Susan Sarandon whacks the former first lady so hard
you can almost feel the entire Democratic Party reel.

Sarandon let go with a hearty "Hate her!"

She added that "the only thing she's [Hillary's] going to be
remembered for is standing by her man, and that is really sad."

The Banger sister then hit Hillary in the sorest of spots -- campaign
dollars. "She had a shot, and she really blew it. ... She turned out to be
just another politician, which was really disappointing. I also think she
lost a lot of support. I know a lot of people who write very large checks
who have told her, 'That's it for us, don't come back.'"

The Left Coast Report says: Couldn't you have come to the right
conclusion before we were saddled with a snooty left-wing senator for six
years?

4. Beatle Bolshevism

Back when listening to Beatles music could get you placed in a state
work camp in Cuba, Silvio Rodriguez lost his state job because of his
Beatles penchant.

Now Rodriguez is one of Cuba's top folksingers. He was recently one of
the participants in a peace concert that took place in a Havana park named
after, not Vladimir Lenin, but can you believe it? John Lennon.

Lennon's songs were a featured part of the commie concert.

John's sister-in-law, Setsuko Ono, announced that she was donating
several of her sculptures to Cuba. A local artist named Kcho covered a
Sherman tank with a white cloth as a symbol of peace.

In his own attempt at a peace gesture, dictator Fidel Castro arrived
wearing his communist military Sunday best.

Guess Castro and his cohorts must have glossed over one of Lennon's
best lyrics: "If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna
make it with anyone, anyhow."

The Left Coast Report wonders if there are any plans for a gathering
of Cuban comedians at the dedication of a Groucho Marx Square.

5. Christina Aguilera's Nasty Habit

These days, pop singers seem to be throwing more and more gutter
balls.

Britney Spears, Pink, Christina Aguilera and others appear to be
trying to out-lewd the Madonna crude.

At a recent MTV Europe Awards, Aguilera opted to forgo kissing and
instead chose to dress in a nun's habit. But before you think she was
cleaning up her act, you have to hear what followed.

The "What a Girl Wants" sister apparently wanted to shed her faux
religious attire. So she launched into a striptease routine, which
eventually revealed the world's-oldest-profession outfit that lay beneath.
Then she treated the audience to a rousing rendition of her song "Dirrty."

And speaking of Aguilera, where was Tom Ridge when needed?

The San Francisco Chronicle reported that Aguilera recently had a
serious Homeland Security moment. Her multiple body piercings had caused the
metal detectors at an American airport to go off. This led to an individual
inspection from security guards.

Word has it that hand-held metal detectors went into beep overload.
One witness remarked that Christina "rushed off to the V.I.P. lounge as soon
as the ordeal was over."

The Left Coast Report sees a network plan in the making for a "Dirrty"
version of "The Flying Nun."

6. Commerce Minister Says Minnie Driver May Harm Cambodia

Minnie Driver is involved in a modest international incident.

The actress recently told the press that she intended to move away
from the glamour of Tinseltown, go to Cambodia and take a job in a
sweatshop.

Commerce Minister Cham Prasidh evidently believes the actress could do
more harm than good. Prasidh quipped, "As a 'mini-driver' can send your golf
ball out of bounds, Ms. Minnie Driver can be harmful to Cambodia if she
really meant it."

You see, Cambodia's main source of foreign revenue is the garment
industry. And the International Labor Organization has indicated that labor
conditions in Cambodia have been gradually improving. There's a concern that
jobs will be lost if labor regulations are pushed too fast.

The Left Coast Report questions if on her new gig Minnie plans to
share with fellow workers the services of her stylist, makeup artist,
photographer, agent, assistant, bodyguard, cook, valet and forehead dabber.

7. Lawyer May Get Bopped for Singing Bob Marley Tune

Defense lawyer Christian Gauthier may have sung himself right into the
loss of his license.

The Quebec Law Society has opened a disciplinary investigation against
Gauthier. And that's not all. The Montreal police union intends to file a
formal complaint, too.

It seems that the lawyer was heard crooning as he exited the
courthouse in the middle of a murder trial.

The problem was Gauthier was singing a cut from a 1970s Bob Marley
album called "I Shot the Sheriff." And the way-off-Broadway performance,
including the line "I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense,"
was caught on tape.

Gauthier's client was on trial for murdering a policeman. She was
sentenced to 25 years in prison.

Gauthier did express apologies for his singing on Radio-Canada
television: "If I hurt them, if I added to their plight, I'm sincerely
sorry. I didn't think about it, and if I had, I wouldn't have sung."

The Left Coast Report hears that at the disciplinary hearing the
lawyer may try crooning a few verses of "Call Me Irresponsible."


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