belgian_waffler

Although Americans are quite used to the existence of their neighbour
to the north, few actually realize just how remarkable is the
continued existence of this barely viable state.

Lacking a national identity beyond a desperation to appear distinct
from the southern neighbour they claim to loathe but generally, and
secretly, envy, Canada is a concept neither particular logical nor
particularly pleasing, as evidenced by the number of Canadians who
aspire to be Americans and by those who actually depart to the south,
for matters of either personal preference or just a desire to have a
decent job. Canada does receive plenty of immigration - however, this
is generally from parts of the Earth so poor and worthless that any
place is preferable.

Every single Canadian who has chosen America as his or her place to
live knows this to be true. Some will deny it, but they live a lie,
either deceitfully or through their own self-deception.

Of course, many Canadians would prefer to live on the land they
currently occupy and simply enjoy all that America has to offer -
decent jobs, decent health care, direct democracy as opposed to having
the majority of their so-called 'representatives' chosen for them like
a parent orders a meal for a 3-year-old - and the answer herein lies
not in physical flight to America but in being accepted into the
American political system. A recent poll of Canadians showed that a
remarkable 20% of this first-world nation actually desired being
turned into simply a cold and frozen corner of America. While
presumably not all that surprising from the American point of view,
the notion that such a large minority of a relatively prosperous
nation care so little about their national identity is revealing. So
is the fact that a whopping 40% of Canadians want to chuck their
currency for the American dollar. Clearly, Canada was weaned by
Mother England only to latch itself firmly onto America's tit.

It is not really that surprising. Canada has never willingly left the
England's nest, clinging fiercely to the silly woman they call a Queen
and embracing her as a titular leader. Have a look at the disastrous
marriages of that woman's children, Chuck and Andy - they are about as
successful as spouses as is Canada as a nation. And Canada, in a nod
to the Prince of Wales, clearly desires to be America's tampon.

Look at her dysfunctional politics with all their regional idiocy.
103 ridings in Ontario and 100 of them are represented by Liberals?
97% of one party is a disastrous proportion entirely antithetical to
notions of power balancing. Meanwhile, Alliance rules the west but is
unknown out east. Then there's the farcical fact of the Bloc
Quebecois, a party dedicated to not being part of Canada. Finally,
the pitiful Conservatives and New Democrats clinging pointlessly to a
few offices, like lichen on a rock at 20,000 feet. It just makes you
wonder - why do they even bother?

Any so-called union between Canada and America will, of course, be
nothing of the sort. Fortunately, most Canadians are cognizant of the
fact that 'union' will be on American terms. And most know that in
the end, reality will crush pride beneath it's cruel heel and Canada
will become simply a region of the United States of America.

So, it is clear that the notion of Canada being subsumed into a
greater American system is not only possible but a likely
inevitability. Canada will be rather like Texas - a regional which
briefly experimented with independence but in the end decided that
they were better off being ruled from afar. Who knows? Maybe a U.S.
state carved out of what we now know as Canada will send a President
to Washington, D.C., as Texas itself has done repeatedly.

The scenario for assimilation? 1995, and a few thousand Quebecers
voting otherwise, of course. We all know that, in the end, for all
the bluster of Canadian nationalists, they are not about to prevent a
Quebec secession. Quebec departs, Canada dithers and despairs and
crumbles. Make no mistake - Canada is a fine place full of fine
people. The world is full of weak and feeble people who are
nonetheless fine. But their futility and impotence still has
consequences, no matter how fine they might be.

British Columbia and Alberta - These provinces might flirt briefly
with independence, perhaps together. But they are also the most
likely to welcome becoming part of America. They will make excellent
states.

Saskatchewan and Manitoba - Well, they're small, boring as hell, and
the notion that anyone wants to live there makes one scratch his head.
But, Americans live in North Dakota and Kansas, so that just goes to
show - everywhere is home sweet home to some people, no matter how
much self-deception is required to hold such a view.

Ontario - Hell, this would make an excellent eastern American state.

Quebec - Quebec can take it or leave it. There will be no special
favours for the French Canadians. America isn't going to **** around
pandering and offereing special rights just to induce a bunch of
people who don't want to be Americans to stick around. And let's face
it - if not for the bribes that ROC have offered to keep Quebec in the
loop, she long ago would have bolted. Ironically, smelling the coffee
and realizing that America, unlike ROC, can't be extorted just might
be what it takes to make the erstwhile independence-minded Quebecers
to grow up and stop their nonsense. Children often respond positively
once they finally encounter a parental role-model with some resolve
and conviction.

New Brunswick/Newfoundland/Nova Scotia/Prince Edward Island - These
small and Godforsaken places will be given a choice to join into one
State or to be territories. Most assuredly, nostalgic notions of
provincial identity will give way to pragmatic reality and they'll
join under the prescribed rules. The new State can be called
"Atlantic" or The Maritimes" or somesuch.

But, will America acquiesce to this arrangement? It will take awhile
to bring Canada up to speed with the American work ethic and generally
attitudes of self-preservation and independence. While Canadians
surely have that potential, they will for awhile be charity cases,
States that parasitically drain more resources from the whole than
they give back - they will be much like the American South in this
regard. Alberta and British Columbia will be exceptions and will
likely immediately reap the rewards of being Aerican with admirable
vigour. Indeed, if America is smart, they will accept only these
provinces, and maybe Ontario. But then they'd probably be obligated
to also take the surrounded breadbasket provinces, and at that point
the Maritimes might as well be taken under wing as well.

American Democrats will love the arrangement at first as they fondly
dream of all the Democrats that these new Americans will elect. After
all, the traditional Canadian parties will quickly become 21st Century
versions of the Whigs. But the Democrats may find that these northern
Liberals are more left than they like. Oh, the political theater! As
for Republicans, they might hold only Alberta, so long as they accept
very moderate Republicans. But in the end, that primal urge for
manifest destiny will compel American Republicans to support actions
that will pull their own party somewhat to the left, albeit only for a
generation, perhaps.

Your thoughts?

fabian

The Belgian Waffler hu kiteb:

Let's not feed thiqs troll. Except to the piranha.


--
--
Fabian
Visit my website often and for long periods!
http://www.lajzar.co.uk

wade

Are you smoking crack?

webcrawler

My thoughts?

You are not even Canadian, how can you speculate on what Canadians like,
dislike, want or don't want.
You don't even live in Canada !!

Based on your logic, every country that borders a bigger country should give
up its national identify, culture and heritage and merge with its
bigger/powerful neighbour.

Why shouldn't Mexico also merge with the US?
After all, Mexico is more dependent on the US than Canada is.
And while we are at it, why don't we merge the entire continent of North
America with the US, and just convert all the countries to different states
of the US.
At least it will prevent the issue of the US occupying those countries by
force (a la Grenada, Panama, etc.)

You speak of the US being a more "democratic" nation - bah !
Where you can get less than 40% votes and become president and have the
right to wage wars all round the world.
Democracy indeed !

Your post doesn't merit wasting any more time in responding, so I will stop.

Best wishes in whatever your goal is.

morton davis

Thank God!

-*MORT*-

the lone weasel

I think we should adopt the Canadian health care model. I
think I'd enjoy living there; Canadians have a great society,
more progressive in many ways than the US.

But calling a place home means you fix it instead of selling
out.

--

Join the NRA Blacklist!
http://www.nrablacklist.com/

The Lone Weasel

webcrawler

If by "we" you mean Americans, I agree.
It is a much superior model than the ****/rip-off that the US has today in
the name of health care.

jdnicoll

You can't use the 'You don't come from here so you can't comment'
without making common cause with people like Ted Kaldis. If we don't let
foreigners comment on Canada, no matter how ignorantly, then people of
other nations can ignore our commentary and advice on similar grounds.
Clearly this would be a tragedy.

Anyway, 1995 is an interesting year for annexation. I see two
branchs:

1: Unilateral

Bill 'Evil Goatee' Clinton decides that only a short victorious
war with a virtually unarmed nation can distract the press from whichever
of the rolling "scandal news products" the Vast Right Conspiracy had going
that year. Canada has the advantage that many Americans can find it on a
map, unlike France or New Mexico, and so the tanks roll up the Ottawa
Valley from Fort Drum. Canadian paranoids triumphantly proclaim that they
-knew- that was what Fort Drum was really for (as opposed to Jobs for the
Boys in a vote-critical region).

Canada invokes Article V but it probably doesn't do any short
term good.

2: Cooperative

Actually, this works better if the Mulroney PCs are still in power,
treason coming as naturally to that sort of conservative as involuntary
sodomy in a boarding school. It's hard to see what would be in it for the
Liberals in 1995. Option 2 seems even more unlikely than option 1 so I will
ignore it. Option 2 in 1990 might work better.

The thing about 1995 is that in 1995 the PQ and BQ are riding high
and yet another goddamn referendum over 'Quebec independence with subsidies'
is looming. US forces rolling in might be seen as liberators from the
hated Federalistes for a while but would they still be seen that way once it
because clear the troops were never going home and that rather than being
25% of Canada, one of the two founding nations of Canada, the Francophones
were now going to be one of many low population ethnic groups in the USA,
fewer in numbers than Americans of Asian origin and only about twice the
number of Americans of Native origin.

_This_, I think we can get some interesting consequences from.
Except that there's no plausible way for even Evile Kkklintoon [1] to
sell the US on an invasion of Canada in 1995.

James 'It's a van dyke, not a goatee' Nicoll


1: Not to be confused with the real Bill Clinton. Kkklintoon is a
demented parody of what a right-wing ideologue might imagine him to
be, like the Hillary Clinton ****ogue found in _A State of Disobedience_
(free samples on the Baen site. I would describe it but you wouldn't
believe me).

--
It's amazing how the waterdrops form: a ball of water with an air bubble
inside it and inside of that one more bubble of water. It looks so beautiful
[...]. I realized something: the world is interesting for the man who can
be surprised. -Valentin Lebedev-

asmodeus

Who let this mouthbreather out of the loony bin?

--
/"\ ||
\ / ASCII RIBBON CAMPAIGN || Just exactly what part of
X AGAINST HTML MAIL || "Shall Not Be Infringed"
/ \ AND POSTINGS || don't you understand?

webcrawler

The original mouthbreaker who posted that loony comment.
Heck, he cross-posted to half-a-dozen NGs, incl. misc.immigration.canada.

What does this have to do with immigration issues?
Reeks like a troll to me.