kathleen howard

HI everyone,
have not posted recently because I have been trying to get on with it
all,thought read all posting regulary-wonderful!
I am posting now because I feel I need to share my anxieties with you lot
because you will know how I;m feeling !
my history:mastectomy nov 2002,chemo 7 months till last June 2003.
On my second three month check,22 dec2003, the onc said that because my
blood work had been 'abnormal' twice during chemo(last blood worktaken was
in May that year) I must have a bone and CAT scan,which I had yesterday.
I understand that this is all good stuff,to keep a check on me,but my
anxiety about all this has hit the roof.I couldn't stop shaking all day
yesterday,I am also having so much pain in my chest and back,whether this is
due to shere stress or something else I don't know and will not know until
the 26th of this month when we shall all have a big chin wag about the
results.
I have just needed to tell you all how worked up I am about all this,come
the crunch date, I will hope to announce that all is well.
I know I sound such a whimp,but i;m not no this planet at the moment.!
kathleen

marianne

Hi Kathleen,

It's really difficult to get on with it all, isn't it? Thank god for support
groups like this! Your history is similar to mine, although I had a partial
mastectomy Nov. 2002 with a complete mastectomy in January 2002, followed by
chemo which ended June 30, 2003. On the 14th of this month I have my check
up with my onc, and I'm worrying about it.

Did your chest and back pain begin after your onc said the blood work was
abnormal? If so, it's almost certainly due to stress. That happened to me a
lot last year to the point where I was convinced I was having heart attacks.
But I wasn't, it was stress.

What if you call your onc's secretary and see if you can get an appointment
a bit sooner? You never know, they might fit you in. I know that it does not
good for me or anyone else to say "don't worry" because you will anyway. We
all do, even if we don't admit it to others.

I wish you the very best of luck with your test results, and sincerely hope
everything is clear. Please let us know? And maybe someone else here can
give you better, more comforting advice. By the way, you are NOT a wimp!
You're a survivor.

Marianne

lisasbucc

Nope, you don't. I bet every one of us jumps to all the worst conclusions for
each little (or big) pain we have. That's one of the fallouts from being
diagnosed with a potentially fatal disease.

That's the great thing about this newsgroup. You can come here and let it all
out without fear of being ridiculed or being thought silly.

I'm praying that all comes out clean in your test. The 26th sure seems like a
loooong time to wait for results!

Take care.
....lisa

kaye301

anxiety about all this has hit the roof.I couldn't stop shaking all day
yesterday >>


Hi Kathleen, so sorry you are having to deal with all this now. No fun!
After going through all that you have and hearing that is like adding insult to
injury. Hopefully, nothing is going on of concern. I know that chemo can
result in other physiological changes. Many report gall bladder problems which
can start possibly as a result of chemo (going into 'chemopause') or perhaps
even from the chemo drugs themself.
You wrote that you had a mastectomy last June, folloewd by chemo. What chemo
drugs were you on? Did you have radiation? What type of breast cancer were
you dx'd with? Where is the pain in your chest and back? Hope you don't mind
the questions but perhaps someone may have some information in relation to such
that will be reassuring. Take care and {{{Hugs}}}

kaye301

Kathleen, I agree, and the realization that cancer-related concerns just don't
evaporate when treatment is done is sobering or would that be humbling. Either
way, it is not the most pleasurable of acknowledgments we face and not at all
comforting. It does result in anxiety and that can directly impact our coping
skills and behaviors, too. What you feel is very 'normal.' Many of us have
been there and still are there which may be one of the reasons why we are here.

kathleen howard

thankyou all,
I am grateful to you ladies for letting me know that I am not alone,it can
be frightning at times,many at this group have had to face a lot worse,I
know that !
I was feeling very fragile and fearful,though much better now as I'm back to
work and life is in a routine again !
though Kaye is right,its all sobering stuff this !
Marianne,I am hedging my bets too, that these pains are chemo related or
physiological,well, they had better be!
I am oestrogen receptor neg,stage 3,poorly differenciated,chemo was
ECMF.after this,I've buried my head in the sand somewhat, that's how I
cope,though I would never ignore a lump or swelling.
The nurse did say,while I was having a bone scan that if anything worrying
showed up,they would let me know.
This whole episode has been a trauma,being told I needed a few scans was so
unexpected and sudden,on my 3 month check, I bounced into the oncology
office like Tigger,(cos I felt so well) yet crawled out in shock.
thankyou for letting me repeat myself,this is a great group,as Lisa has said
and I do feel supported reading everyone's postings.
I will let you know how things turn out.
Val-have not forgotten you !
kathleen


mind

such