jk

Mike re-read what I wrote. I never said the couch was the answer. The
poster saw his GP and got meds as his ONLY attempt for help. My suggestion
was to see a therapist, to find out if the meds were necessary. Correct me
if I'm wrong, but in most cases, depression is not a chemical problem? I
think in todays world it's easier to take a pill for our ills than to go
through the self awareness and discovery needed to combat emotional
problems. Unless it is a biological problem, all those meds will do is
create an addiction that may mask the symptoms. Just like getting drunk will
do. In my opinion it's irresponsible for a GP to dole out meds for
depression without psycho****ysis.

--
JK Sinrod NY
Sinrod Stained Glass
http://www.sinrodstudios.com
Coney Island Memories
http://www.sinrodstudios.com/coneymemories

mh

Sorry if I misundestood, JK..... After years and years of therapy and
meds... doled out by a psychiatrist, not a GP, I remain extremely depressed
when not on the meds.... which I am now without by choice. I'm not sure
that most depression is not a chemical problem. Could you please cite a
reference for that information?
Certainly, if people can work through situational depression without the use
of meds, that's great. I guess I just feel that a lot of people look at
those of us with clinical/drug-dependent depression as weak because we can't
just *get over it*, as my father used to tell me so often. He was a tough,
macho guy and thought that was the answer to everything.... to *just get
over it*.
Please don't misunderstand me, JK.... I'm not saying that's what you were
saying either.... I guess it's just my knee-jerk reaction.
My health insurance treats the psychiatric treatment under a completely
different *umbrella*. Have to get permission .... have to see someone on
the list... I can go to see any regular doctor I want, but in order to get
help for my *behavioral health issues*, I have to talk to a *nurse* who will
decide if my depression warrants treatment by a psychiatrist... and will
then *approve* me for 10 visits at a time.
Sorry.... didn't mean to go off on a tangent. And I didn't mean to offend
anyone.... just struggling pretty badly with the depression right now... and
wondering, sometimes, if all of this struggle and hurt and pain is worth it.

Take care,
MikeH

jk

No Mike I'm not your father judging you.... you went through the correct
process. The poster didn't. Whatever it takes to be happy and productive is
the goal, right? No one thinks it has anything to do with being weak.

--
JK Sinrod NY
Sinrod Stained Glass
http://www.sinrodstudios.com
Coney Island Memories
http://www.sinrodstudios.com/coneymemories

Hi Mike: Depression has not been deeply discussed in this NG but it
is certainly a valid subject. Please feel free to discuss your issues
here and if we cannot offer any solid advice at least you have aired
your feelings and that in part can be useful. No one is going to
fault you for anything you say. I imagine that each of us has either
been through this personally or knows someone in such a situation. Do
the best you can and what is right for you. Let us know how you
progress.

Best regards,

Chuck H.

mh

Thanks, Chuck .....
It's not easy right now.... and I appreciate the opportunity to just be a
part of this newsgroup, where I find that I'm not going through all this
alone.

MikeH

billybob

Hello Bob,

I, too, have suffered from depression all of my life. I have only had
six years of good health in almost 59 years. I was continually in and
out of the hospital with asthma from the age 1 until 13, then almost
died with a FUO (fever of unknown origin) less than a month after I
turned 21. I was packed in ice for over a week, with fever up to 109,
then frozen stiff from what appeared to be arthritis. My parents
bought a burial plot for me during this time. When it looked I might
live they started looking for a nursing home because all of the
doctors believed I would have had my brain fried - just a vegetable.

Obviously, this didn't happen. After 5 weeks the doctors had me
transferred from the U.T. Med. Center to the U.T. Med School in
Galveston. I spent the next 5 months being poked, tested, biopsied and
generally treated like a test specimen. I was told I would never walk
again. When they asked permission to do an exploritory Laparotomy (?
spelling) where the would take a piece of every organ in my abdomen
for test and given a 50% chance of survival I said NO! I was sent home
to die, knowing I only that I had a highly mutated bacteria in my
system that was either a Hemopholite, Pastuella or something else I
cannot remember at this moment. The best guess was that I had suffered
from Brucellosis or milk fever, the reason they now pastured milk. I
weighed less than 100 pounds, down from 190 which was all muscle at 6'
1" before the illness.

My parents, who both worked, left me on the couch during the day with
water, a sandwich and a couple of large pots into which I performed my
bodily functions.

The second time I saw our family doctor I asked what I could do to
walk again. (In Galveston my mental response to the news I would never
walk again had been "F*** you very much".) He didn't give me an
answer at that day but did come by the house a couple of days later
with a pair of crutches and a huge bag of samples of Decadron, a very
potent steroid anti-infalmitorey. He told my parents and I that the
only way he could figure out to get me on my feet again was for me to
break my ankles, frozen at an extended angle, and keep walking on them
until they built a new, detached surface for me to walk on or fuse in
a different position where I could walk. He also told my parents to
find some old mattresses and cover the floor. He felt I could not
survive the operation to break the ankles surgically.

I broke one angel at a time by putting all my weight on it with a
backpack on full of books until each gave away. I fell, climbed back
on the couch and tried the crutches again as soon as I felt I could.

A year later I went back to school, did my geologic field work on
crutches with Decadron, aspirin until my ears rang and a bottle of
whisky a day, just as one of my professors had done.

I am still on steroids, although at a lot lower dose, but still
damaging to my whole system. It also causes continual (Biological)
depression.

I have lost my health, wealth - everything - 6 times since then. Each
time I have come back. When I was diagnosed at 55 with PC I said I can
do it again. But during my recovery from surgery I fell, shattering my
left leg around my left hip prosthesis due to undiagnosed
osteoporosis. I had to have my femur rebuilt but do not have the money
to do the physical therapy needed to regain my health. I am still only
partially functional and highly depressed.

LAK OF EXERCISE AND MEDITATION IS THE MAJOR PROBLEM - the more I can
do the better I feel mentally and the less steroids I need to stay on
my feet.

Coming back from the cancer and less than a year later the broken leg
is the hardest thing I have ever done. This makes #7. I am tired,
really exhausted, emotionally, of the continual struggle to live and
the inability of finding a good woman to stay with me. All so far have
left because they feel so helpless and sad watching me suffer day in,
day out.

The onl;y relief I have had from the continual depression I have been
able to find is a combination of EXERCISE and a lot of MEDITATION. In
the past, I have exercised an hour in a pool and meditated for an hour
twice a day. This time was well spent. The depression was still there
but it was as if it was like the suit I wore to work or the music
collection I had or any other normal part of my life. It didn't
interfere with my functioning or my mood. It just was.

Right now, I, too am fighting the battle of drugs for depression. I
either have side effects or no relief from any of the things my
psychiatrist has prescribed over the last 2.5 years. I am faced with
going back on Prosaic, getting some relief and then getting back to
meditating (this first thing to start with for anyone !!).

It is very difficult to meditate when depressed. Your mind will not
stop screwing with you. If you are getting a modi*** of relief fro
Prozac, the start meditating and walking. Start with 5 minutes a day
for each, then increase as it becomes easier to do. For heaven's
sakedo not try to do it all at once. You will bun out so fast you will
be in worse shape than you are now.

I will probably start the Prozac again and try come back once again.
And I will use the same process I have just outlined. It has worked in
the past and I know it will work again.

Best of luck and kindest regards,

Jim - AKA BillyBob.(I get too much spam to put my real e-mail address
in a message!)

mh

Hi, Jim.....

Seems a lot of guys are dealing with depression. I'm glad Bob started this
thread. While I don't wish it on anyone, it is somehow helpful to know that
one is not the *only one*......

Take care... and don't give up! You sound like a real fighter.... and I
know you can lick this one, too!

MikeH

jerry rausch

Mike, Jim, et al.;
I'm glad someone started this thread if only because depression seems to
be such a common phase for the disease that's brought us here.
I suffer(ed) from it but have been lucky enough to have been able to get
off of the pills. It has taken a lot of work on my part and a good
therapist who had faith that like diabetes or high blood pressure, one
could learn to manage the problem. When I say "had faith" I mean that
she helped me find ways to understand or realize the onset of symptoms
and take corrective action. She did not preach this to me, I asked her
to help me achieve it. She had been my therapist for some time before I
decided that I did not want to live my life as regulated by a pill if I
could help it.
My motivation lay in the fact that something I wanted was denied me
because of the medication. Being depressed did not preclude getting the
certificate but the medication did.
Kind of a long-winded way of saying that it is possible to overcome or
at least manage so hang in there.

Jerry

steve kramer

Jim,

You sound like a certifiable warrior. You have the right mindset. Steroids
might be a problem in the distant future, but for now, you can still beat
the bastard.

--
Steve Kramer
PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46
Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c
RRP 12/15/2000
PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8
EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47
PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3
Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48
HT 07/21/2003 @ 48