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1 25th August 09:01
trasea
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


I put everything ment, just assume everything is ment ok?


Christmas 2002, after several "Normal" AF's and this one was no
different at the time, but I didn't stop bleeding. Months and months
went by, still bleeding, total of 8 months. I bled so bad some times, I
had been to the ER 3 times, only to leave 2 of the times without seeing
a doc. I was passing clots the size of my hands and basically looking
like I was hemmoraging <SP?> with no pain. Jamie was freaking out, so
after my first ER trip that I went to, they set me up an appt with a new
doc. I called for the appt time and it wasn't until Sept.25. I was the
uppity bitch patient that I usually am with these docs and got set up
for July 30. After my first ER trip and the phone call, I told my new
doc how bad I was bleeding and they set me up with 4 months of BCP's to
take to stop the bleeding, I took the BCP's all within one month per
script and it didn't stop the bleeding. I went in on my Appt. July 30th
and they did a Pap Smear and instead of doing the usual 1 Biopsy they
took 7 from all points of my Uterus. Doc told me that if anything was
"Abnormal" that they would schedule me for an U/S and then a possible
D/C. Depending on what they were looking at. I was to get a call back
within the week with test results.

I didn't get the call back, I had to call them, well the ignorant nurse
had given me a bunch of Crap on the phone and I demanded my doctor call
me back. Well, he called me on a Friday morning (August 8) and told me
to come in on Monday morning because it didn't look good. This was a
different doc, I assmued that he didn't know that I WAS TO BE TOLD OVER
THE PHONE. I understand now though. That was the LOOONNNGGGEST weekend
ever.

I went in on Monday, and they got me right in there without having to
sit in the waiting room and wait any longer. I made Jamie go with me. I
went into the room and was told "BLA BLAH BLAH BLA Stage 1 UTERINE
CANCER!!!" That is all I heard. I told him to stop talking, I couldn't
hear anything he said, all I hear is cancer, call in Jamie. Jamie walked
in, I busted in tears and he knew. I didn't cry until I saw him and his
worried beautiful face. Poor guy. Jamie said "What to do?" doc said
Total Abdominal Hysterectomy, not partial, EVERYTHING.
Surgery to be on the 21st, you have 10 days.

I took it surprisingly well really. Better than anybody else in the
families. I had had NOTHING BUT TROUBLE all of my life with these parts,
I already knew I was not going to have a child biologically, parts were
bad, yank them out. I had one glimmer of hope and it was taken. I had a
very long heart to heart with my father and it was him that helped me
through the really hard parts, the emotional parts. He told me "Sug, now
you know that you have had problems since day 1 of puberty, and you
already came to the grips of not having your own flesh child, you can do
this, you have to do this. This is your mother giving you peace of mind
to start on your adoption journey and it is just time to let go so you
do not have to make the decision anymore" HE WAS TOTALLY RIGHT. I
started looking at this like it was a blessing, I didn't have to worry
about treatments, or anything anymore, no more money gone out the
window. And the blocks lifted off my chest and I started researching
adoption sites more. I was relieved really. My dad and his lady friend
Grace came for the week and left the day I was released. I did great in
the OR (my very first srugery) and I was told that I was making people
laugh. I remember them wheeling me into the OR, they put me on the table
put my arms out. I thought "Mother, please let me wake up" I woke up
saying "pain" and "hurt", I do not remember this. I finally woke up, I
had a morphine drip with a trigger button, I had a catheter. They took
out the IV and the catheter on Friday afternoon and I was released on
Saturday the 23rd. I have been staying at my MIL's house since. I have
animals at HOME that I do not trust to not jump on my incision. So I am
safer here and Jamie is doing a wonderful job. He stayed with me the
WHOLE time in the hospital and slept in a wonderful recliner. they
told him that he could climb in bed with me if I allowed but the bed was
just not that big, I was uncomfy enough. I have had NO PROBLEMS at all.
Incision looks almost gone now, doc did a wonderful job with leaving a
very minimial scar. I still have the steri-strips, but all is well, I
just walk a little funny right now. LOL

So that is my story and I am stickin to it. I hope I didn't leave
anything out. Just Joking, I think I threw every detail in it. Thanks.

Take Care,
Tracy
PCOS, CANCER, 2 WEEKS POST-HYSTERECTOMY
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2 25th August 09:02
trich
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


Many, many gentle hugs. This is such a traumatic event, you need
time to heal emotionally. Glad to hear you have the support you
need (and hope MIL does not drive you too crazy ;-)

Have all the pampering you deserve!

Sending my love,
t.
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3 26th August 02:39
trasea
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Posts: 1
Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


Thanks so much Penny. I don't feel all that strong though. You never
know what your going to feel like when your in these difficult
situations. I could have been a raving lunatic, I quietly cried in the
waiting room after I found out, I had to speak to the surgeon and all
and cried, I cried all night, the night I found out telling everybody in
the families over and over but the next day, tears were dried up and
everybody really freaked out on that. You just have to be strong for YOU
and don't worry about anybody else. I used to worry about "What are they
going to think of me" and personally? I don't care anymore. I have to
live my life to satisfy myself and that is what I am doing. I think it
could have been a LOT worse and I think of not having to go through
Chemo or radiation. I could have actually gotten sick but never felt any
illness or pain, I am lucky.

I think I am gonna be just fine. You will be too, you just have to reach
that point where you say "NO MORE" and you will do it, but you have to
reach that point. Many hugs to you Penny.

Take Care,
Tracy
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4 26th August 02:39
melissa young
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


Tracy
My heart just breaks for all that you've been through. You are truly the
strongest person I know. You handle all that you've been thrown
magnificently. Keep it up girl, I'm proud of you.
Love
Melissa
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5 26th August 02:39
trasea
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


Thanks Melissa, I am doing the best I can do with what I have been
given. I figure, I have to do the best I can or I will feel like crap
inside. That is just how I am. I have my bitter bitch moments but that
is mostly with one twit in my family. Happy I can say it isn't just me
that thinks she is this way LOL


I wish you much luck in your life and I hope your dreams come true

Take Care,
Tracy
PCOS, CANCER, 2 WEEKS POST HYSTERECTOMY
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6 26th August 02:39
cyndirella1211@aol.comeatspam (
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


WOW Tracy your strength is amazing!! U sure have been through a lot and have
quite a wonderful outlook! Huge {{{HUGS}}} to u!
I have adopted if u ever want to talk about it in an email. I am here to
support u!
*~`~ Cyndie ~`~*
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7 26th August 02:40
trasea
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Posts: 1
Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


Thanks Cyndie,
I think it is mostly because of what I HAVE gone through. Personally? I
don't think that there could be a stronger woman than an IF'er. IF'ers
are silently strong in anything because we have quietly taken on so much
pain and hide it from others for so long. Does that make sence? I think,
like myself, all of you have that strength also. You just don't realize
you have it. I don't *feel* stronger than any other woman. I/we have
just been dealt a hefty hand and you have to be strong enough to support
yourself, nobody else can do it for us right? It all comes down to
yourself. Us IF'ers are a strong bunch, and have the inner strength to
go through anything because we have already traveled through Hell and
back, just watch us go!!! Double wink on that one!!! No if I could
just be strong enough to loose all this weight!!! I am working on it
though. My next hurdle, my weight is. I will email you ok?

Take Care,
Tracy
PCOS, CANCER, 2 WEEKS POST HYSTERECTOMY.
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8 26th August 02:40
cyndirella1211@aol.comeatspam (
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


Oooohh I know exactly what u mean!!! I am feeling the pain silently extra
worse today after my negative betta call from this morning...but when a
coworker comes over to talk to me they dont have a clue what kind of pain is
hiding behind my large fake smile!
*~`~ Cyndie ~`~*
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9 26th August 02:40
trasea
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


((((Cyndie)))
I am sorry it didn't work this time. Cry if you want to, it is your
right. Lean on me if you want ok?
Take Care,
Tracy
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10 26th August 02:40
jayde-jones1@webtv.net
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Default My Story (EVERYTHING MENT) VERY LONG


My thoughts are with you....for a speedy recovery and luck with your
adoption quest. You are an inspiration.

Hugs
Jayde

Take joy. The beauty of life is that behind every challenge there are
hidden gifts just waiting to be found.
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