How to Help Your Picky Eater

One of the most common questions I am asked is how to help a picky
eater. If you're worried that your child won't get enough nutrients
from a limited selection of foods, the good news is that because the
American food supply is super-fortified, nutrient deficiencies are
rare.

If your child is growing normally according to your pediatrician, you
can almost always assume that he or she is well-nourished. With the
notable exception of calcium, most nutrient deficiencies are easy to
spot ? you would notice poor growth, low energy, slow development, and
unhealthy-looking skin and hair. If you notice these symptoms in your
picky eater, mention your concerns to your pediatrician. Often a
multivitamin supplement can solve the problem and reduce your worry.
Kids often grow out of picky eating if it isn't given too much
attention, so while you wait, here are some options to try.

1. Eat together as a family and let your children see you try new
foods (even if you're not sure you'll like them). Children often
identify with a parent's eating style, so if you don't like something,
it's not fair to expect your children to eat it. The opposite is also
true ? children's tastes are more sensitive than adults, so just
because you like something doesn't mean they will.

2. Include your children in writing your shopping list, food shopping,
and meal preparation. These can be fun ways to teach kids practical
skills, while giving them some say in what foods they see on their
plates.

3. Walk away from power struggles. When your terrible two-year old
crosses his or her arms and says, "NO!" to food, don't let it rattle
you. This is one way kids show independence. Next time, try offering
two different foods so that your child has the ability to assert him
or herself without resorting to not eating at all.

4. Don't go fat free. Fat in foods carries flavor and it really does
improve taste. In reasonable amounts, it doesn't make kids fat, it
gives them energy and helps their brains grow. Adding butter or cheese
to cooked vegetables and salad dressing to raw ones actually helps
their bodies absorb the nutrients.

5. Some kids are naturally suspicious of new things, including foods.
If you continue to include unfamiliar items in your regular family
meals without forcing your child to try them, he or she may eventually
feel more comfortable and willing. Don't get upset if your child eats
around the new food ? just encountering it is helpful.

6. Trust your child's sense of hunger and fullness. Children have
small stomachs and need to eat smaller amounts and more frequently
than adults. Never force your children to finish everything on their
plates, because appetites change with growth, and sometimes children
really do need less to eat than they did at an earlier stage. Serve
them small portions at first and then provide more if they're still
hungry. Large amounts on the plate can overwhelm some children and
turn them off from trying a new food, especially if they think they'll
have to eat it all.

7. Avoid bribing picky eaters with dessert. This just makes dessert
seem even better and the other food even worse.

8. Buy and provide nutrient-fortified foods, as well as foods that are
naturally higher in nutrients (for example 100% fruit juice instead of
fruit punch), so that you can feel confident that when your kids do
eat, they are getting bang for their buck.

No one likes to eat everything. Exposure to lots of foods without
pressure is the best way to help kids find the nutritious foods that
they like best. That's why they come home from a friend's house raving
about a dish they won't even consider at home.

Finally, if mealtime has become stressful in your home for any reason,
it will be difficult for children to eat appropriately. Changes in
eating behavior are sometimes a reflection of stress or anxiety. In
these cases, counseling and an overhaul of mealtime may be necessary.
Consult your pediatrician for advice or try one of Ellyn Satter's
books. A healthy relationship with food is one of the best gifts you
can give your child, far more important than the one food that they
will or won't eat.
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