bev

Well, Our Vacation will be a road trip to Cape Cod, based around a
"grief group" reunion. Just about 4 years ago after G died I found some
relief through an internet group of people, The webmaster Steve (who
lost his wife) is actually going to be married at this reunion to a
sweet lady he met in the group!( she lost her husband) Sadly she is
fighting Cancer herself right now . She owns a beautiful big house on
the Cape and opens her home to the group every year for us to gather .
Last year we took my daughter S and her friend A along with us . It is
so peaceful and serene, and we had a wonderful time. What is great is
we go on day trips to different areas while we are there. This year M
and I are goin it by ourselves ( A well deserved break for sure!)So we
will leave early morning July 16th and return July 25th !! I hope to
leave it all behind me for a while and relax That is great Paul will
come

I have had such a difficult time finding this understanding with some
friends, some family and most definately my employers.Myself I have
just started to understand and accept. Being a mom or Dad trying to
survive financially and yet also cope with the sometimes very
devastating incidents that come with having a child with "Issues" is so
draining emotionally physically and oh so spiritually as well.


(((Cele))) I admire the Mom you are. I am so glad your Daughter has
begun to come out the other side of this terrible awful nightmare.

AS I read your comments back to me, those above and below as well , my
heart races, I think it is excitement? What you say gives me hope ....I
see some of what you are saying actually happening....like the time
between explosive outbursts, opening into larger amounts of time
between. I also am seeing some of the mistakes I am making while I mean
the best , I am actually wanting too much too soon with her. So sorry
to hear of your sisters death. It is so very sad when someone reaches
that decision that death would be better than life.Much of the fear I
have is that my daughter will succeed one of these times she decides to
swallow a bottle of pills or cut herself too deep. It has been months
since she has done any of this but I live with this fear not knowing
when and if she may.Thanks for the well wishes and I send them back to
you as well.

snipped gobs of good stuff:


Letting go......I think this is what I have begun to do as of late,
very hard indeed.

YMMV means ? Thanks Cele this has been very enlightening and I
appreciate every word you typed
Bev