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1 2nd June 00:33
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There are approximately 474,000,000 Web Page results in which God is
mentioned. (If you doubt me, look it up.)
There are also 85,600,000 postings about God on Google as well as
another 3,610,000 different postings to Google Groups.
I hate to say this but every single one of them is wrong or without
You see, God isn't like your typical trillionaire with his nose held
high and the only thing on his mind from dawn to dusk is MAKING MORE
Actually, I've learned, God is really down to earth, extremely humble
and an awfuly nice Guy.
Hell -- please excuse the language -- He has given us so much. He has
given all of us a physical existence and a plethora of wonderful,
incredible things that have allowed it to happen, sort of like magic.
It's amazing, really, that He takes in stride the fact that so many
people insist He doesn't exist, claiming that we -- all of us -- have
come about by pure chance or by accident, despite the astronomical
odds (like evolution) against it happening that way.
Consequently, I often wonder why He doesn't throw more darts --
lightning strikes -- at His critics, with their heads constantly up
their ass (like the know-it-all imbeciles nesting in alt.atheism and .)
The only resonable answer, I would think, is that -- among His
numerous attributes -- God also has awfully tough skin.

I'm pretty sure, in God's case, it's even thicker.
The only living person I know who has met God and conversed with Him
is Dave Fellin, one of the two coal miners who were entombed 14 days
during a cave-in near Hazleton, Pa., in August 1963.
By now you should all well remember the story when, after a few days
when, after all hope of rescue was gone. Pope John XXIII -- who died
10 weeks before the cave-in -- appeared to both men at the same time
and remained with them until Hank Throne, then Fellin, were hauled to
the surface through a 17 1/2-inch borehole.
It was while entombed -- before contact was made with the miners --
that Fellin had many out-of-body experiences.
One was being aboard Columbus' ship en route to discovering America,
testifying later that good ol' Chris was using a compass.
Another was watching the Egyptian pyramdis being constructed,
expaining that not a single multi-ton boulder was imported to the
but, instead, all were made from what appeared to be cement right
where they are today.
Fellin also said the construction of the pyramids was supervised by
extraterrestrials each of whom he described as "Caucasian but with a
very dark tan."
He also revealed -- years before the Hubble -- that he learned that
there are more stars and planets in the universe "than there are
grains of sand on all of the beaches in the world."
Fellin also testified that he knew for a fact that there are human
beings much like us scattered throughout the seen and unseen universe
-- and added, like icing on the cake, that he actually was taken to
one of these planets and saw for himself that it contained human
As for his conversations with our God -- whom he said always called
him DaviD -- he revealed that He is normal in every way except that
he couldn't see His face, since it was always shrouded in darkness.
This why Fellin very often referred to Him as "The Man Whose Face I
Couldn't See."
"Pop," Fellin said he once asked Him (always calling him Pop). "Why
can't I see Your Face?"
He said God explained that, by showing HIs face, it would stereotype
Him, and He wanted it known that He can enter the soul of anyone at
any time -- a prince or a pauper.
Fellin said God informed him that He can
be any human being at any time, which is why we should always be kind
to our fellow man. We may be dealing directly with Our Maker.
Our God also told Fellin that He is a member of a family of Gods who
lives in a physical body on a planet countless light years from earth
-- and each family member is responsible for a section of the
unfathomable universe,
He expained to Fellin that His physical body has its limitations but
He can conquer time and distance by traveling as a spirit, taking
a split-second to be where He WANTS to be.
He also revealed that He doesn't judge us when we die -- as we depart
our physical existence for another destination -- but emphasizing that
we're actually judged in the afterlife by our contemporaries while on
Fellin also learned that no one burns in a place called hell, The
punishment, he said, is being ostracized by family members and one-
time friends for the evil deeds we had done against them -- primarily
behind their back -- while in the physical realm.
Fellin was asked how He felt being in God's
company and his answer was much more than we can ever wish.
""I loved my own father with my whole heart," he told me. "Being in
the company of God gave me the very same feeling."
It should be noted that, when Dave was asked if every single word he
had revealed is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,
he replied:
"If I have told even one lie, let my own father
be punished for all eternity."
Dave Fellin holds a copy of The Los Angeles Times heralding that the
miners were alive.
Fellin holds a copy of the London Evening News from the day he and
Throne were rescued.
Hank Throne holds a copy of the Hazleton Standard-Speaker from the day
he and Fellin were rescued.
Fellin swears on The Bible that every word he has spoken is the
Fellin tells his story to Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, considered the
world's leading authority on death and dying and the author of
books. She said she believed every word.
Fellin takes -- and passes -- a polygraph test.
David Fellin and Hank Throne, freshly shaven, are shown together in
the hospital the day they were rescued.
Dave Fellin and Ed Conrad stand near the tombstone erected in memory
of Lou Bova, the third miner who died as a result of the cave-in. The
men were buried some 340 feet beneth the grvbe site.
The following poor souls and organizations have Twittered
to say they'll be a lot nicer to strangers and never again
eat meat on Friday.
Queen Elizabeth
Ge****e Bush's mommy and daddy
Lady Gaga
Sonia of Operation Repo
General Motors
Gen. Omar Bradley (Ret.)
General Electric
General Mills
The Grim Reaper
Father Guido Sarducci
Mother Teresa
Dr. Death (Jack Kevorkian)
Christie O'Donnell
Ann "Douche Bag" Coulter
Rabbi Yehuda Levin
Roger Ailes
Keith Olbermann
The Darwin great-great grandkids
Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao
Richard Dawkins
Wall Street Industrial Averages
Pastor Terry Jones
Smithsonian Institution
Penn State University
60 Minutes
Residents of Intercourse, Pa.
Amerigo Vespucci
Harvard University
Johns Hopkins University
University of California-Berkeley
Al Einstein
Al Qaeda Al-Qaeda al-Qaida al-Qa'ida
American Academy of Arts and Sciences
Stepin Fetchit
American Association for the Advancement of Science
Sheriff Dengle -- Reno 911 Police Dept.
American Association of Anatomists
American Anthropological Association
BillO Reilly
Gorgeous George
Glenn Beck
Sean "Ins" Hannity
American Journal of Physical Anthropology
American Medical Association
Zinkag 41 (Autonomus Unit Zinkag 41, brood assemblage Delta 64)
American Museum of Natural History
The Good Shepherd
American Civil Liberties Union ACLU
Liz Cheney
American Society for Investigative Pathology
American Society of Human Genetics
Geological Society of America
L'Osservatore Romano
Paleontological Research Institute (PRI)
Billy "Never Call Me Willie" Graham
Federation of American Scientists
Science Nature Omni Penthouse magazines
Smithsonian Custodial Employees (Local 666)
Sarah Palin
New England Journal of Medicine
Paul PZ Myers University of Minnesota
Michelle Malkin
Geraldo Rivera
The Good Samaritan
British Petroleum BP
Larry King (But you can call me "The")
Pope Benedict XVI c/o The Vatican
Wayne Clough -- Secretary of Smithsonian
Stephen Hawking
The Girls at Mustang Ranch
Sen. John Boner
The Estate of the Leakey Family
American Board of Forensic Anthropology
American Journal of Pathology
Rudy Giuliani
Michele Bachmann
American Medical Association
American Society for Investigative Pathology
Armed Forces Institute of Pathology
Association for Molecular Pathology (David Iain Greig, moderator)
Isaac Newton
College of American Pathologists
Satchel Paige
Viagra Mfg.Co.
Cornell University Medical College
Wall Street bankers
Forensic Files
International Academy of Pathology
Rupert Murdoch
U.S. Geological Survey
Taliban Federation
Predators Socety -- Chris Hansen CEO
Fox News
Brad Guth
Father Time
New England Journal of Medicine
Opponents of Intelligent Design
Canadian Association for Physical Anthropology
Cleveland Museum of Natural History
Tiger Woods
Institute of Human Origins
The Warner Brothers
Society for Medical Anthropology
Kenneth and Gloria Copeland
American Journal of Pathology
Alexander Emmanuel "A-Rod" Rodriguez
Donald Rumsfeld
American Society of Primatologists
Orly Taitz
National Primate Association
La Brea Tar Pits, Los Angeles
Oral Roberts
British Petroleum BP
Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center
Gorilla Foundation
The Banana Republic
AAA (Amalgamated Atheists of America)
Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales, founder of Wikipedia
Chris Matthews
Rachel Maddow
Google Technicians
Michael Moore
Red Skelton
Bill Maher and His Whole Family
Oliver Stone
Smithsonian Snack Shop staff
Time Magazine
President Obama
Anderson Cooper
Pamela Anderson
New York Times
New York Daily News
George Carlin
New York Post
New York Daily Mirror
Howard Stern
Meg Whitman
Washington Insider
Benny Hill
Philadephia Inquirer
The Nation
Meet the Press
David Gregory
eBay Stores
Rosie O'Donnell
To Catch a Predator on American Idol
National Enquirer
National Lampoon
Washington Post
Sean Penn
Wall Street Journal
Joe Paterno
The View
Jeff Rense
U.S. News and World Report
60 Minutes
Roswell (N.M.) Chamber of Commerce
Arianna Huffington
David Letterman
Charles Manson
Matthew Mark Luke and Jack
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