dazed and confused

Hello everyone,
I am new here and thought i'd introduce myself. I am a SAHM of an adorable
little girl and have recently found out I have a panic/anxiety disorder. Of
course we didn't find this out until we spent thousands of dollars on tests
of my heart and digestive tractover the course of 9 months. I am currently
on Alprazolam ( a generic form of xanax) and some sort of dissolving pill
for my now new problem of irritable bowel syndrom. I am not seeing a
therapist yet....the closest one that specializes in this is 3 1/2 hrs
away!!!
Anyhow, I am trying to cope as best I can on my own for now. I have noticed
I have the most trouble at night when I am beginning to relax. Lately I have
been having "obsessive" thoughts about me or my little girl coming down w/
the stomache flu or food poisoning and it is not the most pleasant
thought...even thinking about it gives me a stomache ache!!! LOL
I was wondering if there are like stages to this, like it started out as
feeling like I was going to have a heart attack, couldn't breath, EXTREEM
fatigue, dizzyness,

then esophageal spasms, depression, a feeling of being closed in, a feeling
like I had to "get out" of where I was,

and now I have most of that plus "obssessive" thinking about getting sick,
sometimes cleaning...and i don't mean just cleaning I mean like throwing
EVERYTHING away!I do ALOT of meditating and prayer which helps quite a bit,
but I was wondering if it ever gets better, or just worse or keeps changing?

Any info would be MUCH appreciated!!!
TIA

mkahogan

Hi TIA,

It is my experience that everyone has a different story with the panic and
anxiety thing, although we are still so close that we can certainly relate
to each other and help each other. Some people feel like they are having a
heart attack. Some feel like they are losing their mind. Some can't
tolerate crowds, etc. The basic illness is the same, it just manifests
itself a bit differently. I don't think there are stages anyone has
identified.

It also sounds like you are struggling with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder). This is very common. My husband has it and so does my daughter.
These types of conditions are often treated with drugs like Prozac and Paxil
(SSRI's).

Are there no psychiatrists or counselors any closer than 3 1/2 hours away?
Are you sure about this? Most clinics, even those in remote areas, have a
consulting psychiatrist on staff who at least has hours one day a week.

I am a stay at home person too. When I first had my daughter, 14 years ago,
I was all by myself in the country. It was just me, my daughter and my
depression and anxiety. It was a very difficult time. Counseling,
medication and a part-time job helped. It was not good for me to be alone
with my thoughts so much. This was my experience; it may not be yours. I
am now at home trying to start my own business and that is still challenging
for me. I was allot healthier mentally when I was working fulltime at a job
I liked. Luckily, I know this and try to do healthy things for myself, but
I may have to give it up at some time and elect to find a more socially
interactive job.

Hang in there and do what you need to to get yourself some help. If it
means a 3 1/2 hour commute, so be it.

Kathy