princess h

I've just discovered this group, and I must say, it actually looks helpful.

Im 27, been showing symptoms since younger than 10 years old, and finally
last year got the proffesional to confirm my self diagnosis.

I get the highs very, very high, and while the lows leave me crying in true
emotional pain for no reason, I have never in my life felt like ending it
all.

Classic symptoms like seriously increased *** drive, extra energy,
irresponsibility with money, saying regretful things, doing unsafe things,
irritability, feelings of intense guilt, panic attacks, fellings of total
worthlessness - Im a walking text book in the highs, but in three straight
years of careful monitoring, I've never been what I would call depressed.
However when I am not up, I am a calm, quieter sort of person.

While I have read small amounts acknowledging that some don't actually get
the lows, there is just not much around. One of the best mental health
organisations in Australia says in its self diagnosis pages that if there is
now feeling of depression lasting for more than 2 weeks, not to go further,
as it is not bipolar.

Anyone else living the constant painful highs and never coming down?

scott johnson

I'm close, but my highs are long and (usually)
tempered, whereas my lows are sharp, deep and
thankfully short. And yes, I have thought of
ending it all, several times.

I made the mistake for a long time of thinking
that just because I didn't have a 50/50 split of
equal strength highs and lows I wasn't bipolar.

--
Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

harry

from my experience as a bipolar person and as a therapist,the lows are
much longer than the highs.To be hypomanic all the time

princess h

My psychiatrist keeps telling me it is mild, and I don't need constant
medication, I should be able to control it with exercise and being careful
about the stress I put myself under.

I spent a childhood watching my severly bipolar alcoholic mother ignore her
problems - and recognised pretty quickly that I had the same behaviours -
just not as strong. I think this has become my saviour, as it is now
extremely important to me that I don't drink, and control this monster for
the sake of my own daughter.

Sometimes it feels like I have it so under control I can't understand how
there was ever a problem, then some days I wonder if I will become one of
those people who just loses their mind one day, injuring themselves or
others. But I guess that's the nature of the beast isn't it?

Its good to hear Im not the only one with an 'inbalance' of symptoms. Like
bipolar itself, my research journey has seen me go from confident about my
information to totally confused and scared for myself - then back again.

scott johnson

I know how that feels!


Unfortunately I had to reach that point before I
got the help I needed.


If you're self aware and cognizant of the fact
that you need help you're well ahead of most
people with mental problems IMHO. :-)

I'm still a smart, funny, and witty guy, I'm a
just a little crazy. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


--
Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

princess h

Its always good to hear that! I try to look at it that I have something not
too different from diabetes. If I pay attention, I can control it. If I
don't - it can get very messy. I try not to consider myself a sufferer - I
don't suffer from it - I live with it.

Scott - you sound like a top guy - I'm glad I found this group where the
whole gist isn't perpetuating manic rants. I know it is necessary for some
sufferers to get the feelings out at any cost, but alot of groups are filled
with depressed ranting which reminds me of the talk on pro-annorexia sites.
Just because we feel this and have to live with it doesn't mean its healthy
to get up on a platform and preach pain to the world.

I feel somehow its the nuttiness about me which makes me who I am, and I if
I wasn't bipolar, I don't know that I would be the person that I like being
sometimes....did that make sense? While no-one would WANT to be bipolar, I
wonder sometimes whether I could be considered lucky - I know people who
have gone their whole lives without feeling the type of pure joy and passion
which can come with bipolar. Its just a pity the confusion and lows come at
the same strength!!