14th September 03:11
ATT: Erik RE:Anxiety
Thanks so very much for acknowledging my post Erik. I am really hurting an
awful lot. I keep bumping into him so much lately and I cannot stand it! I
cannot move away for lack of money. Whenever I see him, I get this horrible
and shocking adrenaline rush in my chest which makes me swear I am about to
have a heart attack.
I recently got out of a psychiatric hospital where I spent 5 days. I was
rushed to a local hospital when I overdosed on some pills after this guy
told me it was quits. The obsession with this one-sided relationship was
more than I could take. I have GOT to get this person out of my mind and
It was my obsessive behavior, after I stopped the Celexa, which scared him
silly. I literally drove him away from me with my obsessive behavior towards
I STILL have to get him out of my heart.
Thanks again Erik! Jo-Ann
14th September 03:11
When my first husband left me, I thought I would die.
I drove by his apartment many times, hoping to get a glimpse of him. I
prayed and prayed that we would get together but he never came back.
I started dating about 6 months later but my heart wasn't in it. It took
about 2 years for me to start feeling happy again (and this was very slow).
I ran into my current husband (an old friend) about 4 years later and
married him after a year if dating. now I can't remember for the life of me
why I agonized so much over that loser. I am so much happier now.
You will be happy again. You are worthy, just give yourself time to grieve.
14th September 03:12
I would take this as an opportunity to do two things:
* Find medication that works for you. Even if you don't stay on it
full-time, you'll have that safety net, so you needn't fear the future.
(Seroquel worked very well for me and unlike SSRI's didn't increase
my anxiety and took effect immediately. On my first dose, I fell asleep
for 14 hours of badly needed rest.)
* Find some counseling (CBT or grief) and/or a CODA group.
* Find a hobby that requires some concentration. I like taking Step
Classes at the health club because the second that I take my mind off
what I'm doing (to obsess about work) I loose my place. It forces me to
break that obsessive feedback loop to separate work from home. Besides,
it's fun and good for me. (do well by doing good, in action).
* If you have spiritual/relegious tendencies (I think we're all
spiritual animals), then pick of this trail and follow up. It will give
your life a dimension that gives you perspective and depth. As NK
pointed out, this will look like small potatoes a few years from now.
As always, gentle hugs. You need to become that gentle friend and
parent to yourself to help stear you out of these situations. It
shouldn't surprise you, but my parents where not like this, and were
punitive when I did something wrong. It's very difficult to become much
of anything when your existence is guided by a series of "no"'s.
However, I grew to become a mentor and parent to myself, and also into a
person that I can say I really like.
BTW, a word of caution here. I had a series of relationships that ended
in a painful separation from the object of my obsession. I eventually
became involved with a manipulative/controlling/abusive person. She
expertly played my fears and anxieties to the point that I was
completely powerless against her. We've now been married 15-20 years of
gut wrenching hellish existence as she literally torments me on a daily
basis. It's only after taking effective medication, that I'm able to
establish some boundaries with this person. I suspect we're soon to
separate. The moral of the story should be obvious. You (and I) need
to get this under control before you can be part of a mutual
relationship founded on love, trust, and friendship. (Not necessarily
in that order). Anything less and you're in for a hard life.
Keep us posted. If you want to contact me off line try "email4erik" at
15th September 16:07
Thank you both so much for the feedback. My emotional pain is overwhelming
and I am trying to use music as my diversification. I am a music teacher,
but no longer teach. I live in (rural) coastal North Carolina (transplanted
from Long Island, N.Y.) and teaching here is ridiculous due to the vast
mileage involved with students and obtaining their learning materials.
Instead, I have opted to play as entertainment in a local lounge (it's a
bar- if you will-a decent place though) for tips and to keep my head on as
straight as possible. I play keyboard and taught piano, organ and keyboard.
I had a horrible experience today with the person in question. I just CANNOT
avoid bumping into him!! I REFUSE to stay indoors all the time because of
him. lord-I wish I could move away-it would be so much easier.
Thanks again dear friends. Jo-Ann