canadagirl

WHOA NELLY! There is no typical borderline and that's exactly why there
is such a stereotype. How each person has developed BPD is different.
It's a perfect recipe of inborn personality traits (i.e. highly
sensitive), actual physical differences in the brain's make-up, and the
circumstance of the environment one grows up in.
A huge part of what causes a person to develop bpd is their own
perception of the world around them due to what and how they've been
taught or NOT taught.
The disorder is mainly, at this time "officially" a disorder of
cognition. However, if you took the time to do the research and get to
know what BPD is, what it means for you, and how it contributes to who
you are, you will come across a lot of literature, studies done in our
current day that are proving the old "facts" completely wrong,
misleading and far more shallow than the reality. (Not to mention that
you will learn how to help yourself and how you can recover from borderline)
Unfortunately, the fifth edition of the DSM isn't due out for another
year or more, but the name for and definitions of what BPD is, will not
be as they currently are in the DSM-IV.

madchatter101

how did i know that someone would take offense to what i said. oh well.

madchatter101

maybe i was wrong in how i interpreted what was being said. i dont know.
if so i apologize. just looked as someone took offense. i really am in
no mood to argue about any of this. i am not happy that i am borderline
and that i got turned away from this. so i needed to get it off my
chest. and i guess what i meant was along the lines of what most
literature says about borderlines and believe me i have read up on this.
they dont paint us in a good light.

canadagirl

You are right, old literature does not paint us in a good light. Why
are you wallowin on outdated information? Are you Borderline or do you
have a Borderline Personality Disorder? Life with BPD is not hopeless.
Many people just decide that because most of the Dr.s and therapists
they see who are completely uneducated on how to work with someone who
has BPD, that there just isn't anyone out there.
Getting well is not easy. It's harder than what you live with right
now. Anybody with a major mental illness has a choice. They can choose
to settle. To decide that if a dr. or therapist isn't willing to fix
them, then all is hopeless and this is your life. Newflash: YOU fix
yourself. The proper therapies give you the tools to do so.
The person with BPD can realize that THEY are in control and that THEY
have all they need this very minute to begin on the road to recovery.
The only person holding you back is you.
Who cares that the program won't take you. They won't. It is what it
is. Plan B? And plan C will follow and you just might have to go
through plans all the way to the end of the alphabet, but if you really
want to get well. You will, and it ain't gonna happen by sitting there
wishing someone would cut you a break. Unfortunately.
Now, you have a right to be angry about the diagnosis. Now learn about
it and learn about you. That's step one. Once you know BPD inside out,
you will know what you need for recovery and you will go anywhere and
do anything to start living!

madchatter101

first i am not wallowing on out dated material im upset because the
first time in a long time i thought i could get some kind of help and it
falls through for me. second of all ive tried unsuccessfully to get
help. either places wouldnt take me back, wanted me to partake in a
group setting which i wont do or places wont take the insurance or
people dont generally want to work with you. this was a chance where
nobody would throw judgments at me and i didnt have to worry about
insurance, pressures being put on me that i felt i couldnt meet
etc...dont assume i dont know anything about being borderline because i
made a statment that you dont agree with.

canadagirl

But I can see that you've made a choice not to participate in a group
setting. By all means, if that is scary or uncomfortable to you, then
don't. I still love and respect my husband who refused to deal with
his OCD in a group setting. My point is simply that although we don't
like our choices or even how we make them, we are ultimately
responsible for our future. I'm not angry at what you said. It takes
far more than that, and I do believe I did validate your anger at not
getting this particular therapy.

madchatter101

you are right groups are scarey for me. they cause me much anxiety. and
i have hard enough time working one on one with someone to even think of
a group setting. btw i dont know if this is where most of it comes from
but when i was a teen and hospitalized one of the staff embarassed me as
to the reasons i was there. its hard to explain but that did it for me.

madchatter101

btw when i was told about being offered the group, this was years ago, i
was told it was because i needed to be confronted by a group. nice huh?
and that was suppose to make me want to go