richi

Hi All,

Firstly i want to say how warm it makes me feel reading the stories on this
NG. I´ve only just come into contact with crohns and am saddened by how
horribly this thing affects people but am also uplifted by the way u all
handle it (hope that doesn´t sound patronising).

Secondly, I wanted to know what experience people have of taking aloe vera
juice. Basically i´ve just started seeing the most wonderful guy who has
crohns. After he told me I wanted to know more so hit the net and read
somewhere that Aloe can help with the symptoms.

My boyfie (scary word, its been a while :-) ) has had crohns for about 9
years and has tried various remedies and now seems to just take imodium
sometimes and painkilling drops when the cramps get to bad. I don´t want to
suggest something that might cause him more pain so am curious to know if
you´ve had a good or bad reaction to Aloe Vera.

Also, if there are any partners of someone with crohns reading this, do u
have any tips on good things to do when things get bad (tummy rubs etc).

Well, thanks for reading this far and keep smiling.

Richi

mgbio

Hi Richi and welcome. I comment you on seeking out help for your partner.

mgbio

mike \(remove xs to reply\)

Richi,

If only my ex-wife was as sweet and supportive as you are!

First off, you need to dump him and marry me!!! ;-D

Naw, just kidding! As for Aloe Vera, I don't know. There's lots of
anecdotal reports that say it helps, but most people on this group say that
it does very little except taste yucky.

I'm drinking some sort of tasteless aloe--supposed to taste like spring
water (it's probably a scam--that's probably all that's in there). It
doesn't seem to be hurting me, and may even be helping. It isn't very
expensive (that's a good thing).

Your boyfriend is a very lucky guy! I'm jealous!! :">

Thanks,

Mike

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tweetypieskye

Hi Richi,

My husband has Crohn's. We have been together for 8 years. The best advice I
can give is to just be there for them and let him know they you love him.
Sometimes things can get really rough. I have came close 2 times to losing my
hubby.
As for the aloe we have heard it can help, he hasn't tried it yet but is
thinking about it.

Rachel

richi

Thanks for all the advice and sweet words :-) I think i´ll buy him some and
see if he wants to try it.

All the best and again thanks for taking the time to answer

Richi

"richi" <rich_blen.remove.@web.de> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:bld8eq$auu4g$1@news.hansenet.net...

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to

marlena v

Good luck to you! And I commend you for taking the time to research
the illness your boyfriend has. Being in a relationship with someone
that has an illness is very hard. I have had three real relationships
since getting the Crohns and have had very different responses from
people.

One guy sent me an email after I returned from the hospital stating
that he didn't think he could deal with or be in a relationship with
someone with a life long illness. Talk about a downer when I'm trying
to heal and get better from my surgery. He could have at least waited
to tell me that when I was better and more recovered.

The guy I am dating now dropped me off at the emergency room because I
was sick with an intestinal tear and he LEFT me there. He said he
didn't have any money for parking. Well big Frinkin deal! SO, I went
into surgery alone, by myself and woke up with at least my parents
there. Meanwhile, the boyfriend went to work!!!!!! I should have
broke up with him then....He has apologized a million times and said
he was scared and didn't know i was going to have to have surgery....
Whatever.

Now he has been pretty good dealing with the illness, although at
times he can get very frustrated about me being sick and not being
able to do the things we used to when I was well at the beginning of
the relationship. LIke going out to eat, having drinks, and staying
out until 2:AM He also get's annoyed when I don't go to work
sometimes because I am sick. I've explained to him that this is
something that I am going to have to deal with the rest of my life and
if he can't handle it, then we need to break up. I love him very much
and that's something I don't want to do. It's not like I am going to
be sick all the time or something. I will get better. I know I will.

I know this sounds bad, but I think that a guy with Crohns is better
off in a relationship because of the fact that women are very
companionate and love to help and makes things better. Men are a
little less companionate about these types of things. Now, I'm not
classifying them all as the same, but that is the type of experience I
have had while dating.

Take care!
Marlena
So, Kudos to you and your efforts of researching and trying to
understand the relationship. I'm very proud of you!!!!

Take Care,
Marlena

mike \(remove xs to reply\)

Marlena,

I'm glad that you are standing up for yourself with your boyfriend. It is
hard to do when you are physically and emotionally weakened by the disease.
I wish I had the courage to do that with my ex wife. Keep standing up for
yourself, though. He will always respect your for it.

In regards to men having it easier, because women are caretakers, that is
BS. Certainly it was not the case for me, and many other chronically ill
men I know. As soon as their SO found out they were sick, they either split
or constantly berated their husbands/boyfriends for not being "weak" and not
"man enough." I know of at least a dozen men who have lost their wives due
to their own chronic illness. As one of them said to me, "Oh yeah. Women
don't like to take care of their sick husbands." For a man, it would be
dishonorable to abandon a sick wife, but for women (it seems), they deserve
someone "better" than their sick husbands. Such is life in this modern
world--stop being a good provider, and out in the trash you go.

Ok, so I'm bitter about this, too.. ;-)

Thanks,

Mike

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marlena v

HI Mike!

Mike,

I think it would be dishonorable for either the Male or the Female to
leave a relationship because one is sick. But, I've started to
realize that If you are not with someone that is compassionate enough
or understandings then the relationship would never work. In fact, I
know this sounds a little strange, but it's almost better being in a
relationship where the spouse has the same disease and problems. That
way they both know what is going on. However, after getting this
illness, I have become a much better person and have more tolerance
and patience toward those that are sick.

So, if I was with a partner who had some time of illness, then it
wouldn't be a problem for me. I would research it as much as I could
to find out about it and leave it at that....

I agree with what you say about women could be uncompassionate and do
the same thing, but since I am a female and always deal with men when
I am going through this, I don't know how most women would respond.

If you don't mind me asking, what happened with your wife?

Take care,
Marlena

mike \(remove xs to reply\)

I'm replying to this to you privately.

Thanks,

Mike

mel

I've become the total opposite, unless someone is genuinely really ill. It
really annoys me when some people at work are hypochondriacs and have to sit
down because they have a headache but then 2 minutes later they are laughing
and joking for example. Or why do people complain saying they have flu, when
they have a bloody cold?
But then I never want sympathy off anyone. If I am ill, then it's a case
stay out of my face and leave me alone, and stop fussing over me. If I am
upset about something, then Geoff knows not to be kind to me or else that's
it, I totally fall to pieces.
If I ever had to find another partner, I think the worst thing would be the
diarrhea. I can't imagine kicking someone else off the toilet so that I can
go, or as in our old house the toilet and bath were in the same room, so
tough if Geoff was in the bath, if I had to go I had to go, lol
I suppose it's helped that Geoff has been here right from the start of my
Crohns.
Mel :-)