bec

From: bec@fertilityplus.org (Rebecca Smith Waddell)
Newsgroups: alt.infertility.parenting
Subject: FAQ for alt.infertility.parenting
Followup-To: alt.infertility.parenting

Posting-frequency: bi-weekly
Last Modified: January 27, 2003
URL: http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/parenting.html

Copyright (c) 2001 by Alyson Peltz. All rights reserved. Information
in this FAQ may be distributed as long as full copyright information is
attached, including URL, and use is strictly not for profit.

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SECTION 1. DISCLAIMER

Resources are provided for informational purposes, but we can not
be responsible for content of other do***ents and do not endorse
the books listed.

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SECTION 2. TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Disclaimer
2. Table of Contents
3. Defining Parenting after Infertility
4. Infertility & Related Newsgroups
5. Netiquette for alt.infertility.parenting
6. Recommended Reading
7. Links to Internet Resources
7.1 Bulletin Boards
7.2 Listservs
7.3 Websites
8. Acronyms and Abbreviations
8.1 Newsgroup Specific Acronyms and Abbreviations
8.2 General Internet Abbreviations


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SECTION 3. DEFINING PARENTING AFTER INFERTILITY

"alt.infertility.parenting is an unmoderated group for the
discussion of all emotional and practical aspects of parenting
after experiencing infertility. Adoptive parents, birth parents,
sperm and/or egg recipient parents and parents who used surrogacy
are all welcome. Parents of all age children are welcome."


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SECTION 4. INFERTILITY AND RELATED NEWSGROUPS

news:alt.infertility (a.i)
news:alt.infertility.primary (a.i.p)
news:alt.infertility.secondary (a.i.s)
news:misc.health.infertility (m.h.i)
news:alt.infertility.pregnancy (a.i.pregnancy)

Please check out http://www.fertilityplus.org for definitions and
FAQs for the above groups. Please note that these groups have
rules for posting - make sure you know them BEFORE you start
posting.

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SECTION 5. NETIQUETTE FOR ALT.INFERTILITY.PARENTING

Electronic communication is a relatively new phenomena when
compared to the age-old standards of proper behaviour (e.g., what
Mom told us to do, and what Miss Manners continues to tell us to
do). Fortunately, the standards of polite society work just fine
within electronic communities and USENET communication.
Occasionally, due to the impersonal nature of USENET
communication, conflicts and arguments can arise. The purpose of
this netiquette section is to assist new USENET users in general,
and users of the infertility-related USENET newsgroups in
particular, in avoiding improper behaviour on the Internet.

Persons who are new to USENET newsgroup participation may
benefit from reviewing general netiquette standards. World Wide
Web copies of these standards is available here:

http://www.fau.edu/rinaldi/netiquette.html

and here:
http://access.tucson.org/zen/zen-1.0_6.html#SEC44

A more global overview of Internet communications
can be found here:
http://access.tucson.org/zen/zen-1.0_toc.html

Additional insights into the Internet culture can be found here:
http://www.fau.edu/rinaldi/net/culture.html

In general, the rules of USENET netiquette can be summarized briefly:

a) Do not type messages in all uppercase letters; this is
considered as shouting and is most appropriate only in USENET
headers that are of interest to a wide audience, and as emphasis
within a message.

b) Avoid unnecessary and prolonged debates on controversial
issues. These debates can deteriorate into flaming which is not
needed on alt.infertility.parenting. Everyone should acknowledge
that we are all different with differing opinions - there is no right or
wrong.

c) When involved in a debate, consider moving the discussion from
the USENET newsgroup to private e-mail.

d) Do not post back to the newsgroup any information that was
received through private e-mail. This is considered very bad
netiquette.

e) Do not cross-post messages to inappropriate newsgroups.

This last general rule has specific importance for the specialized
infertility newsgroups such as alt.infertility.primary,
alt.infertility.secondary and alt.infertility.parenting. In general,
birth or pregnancy announcements that are posted to parenting should not
be cross-posted to a.i.p and a.i.s. because a.i./m.h.i. are open forums
for all infertility-related issues whereas a.i.p., for example, focuses
on
issues that are specific to those dealing with primary infertility.
Discussions of how to deal with a child who wants a sibling should be
kept
to a.i, a.i.s and a.i.parenting.

In addition to these general USENET netiquette rules, there are
some specific a.i.parenting netiquette procedures. For example, it
has become common practice to give people a little warning in the
subject header for certain kinds of posts:

(pg mentioned) when mentioning a current pregnancy in a post
(please be aware that some people may be trying to achieve
a subsequent pregnancy)
(religion mentioned)
(miscarriage mentioned)
(vent) for emotional vent

As there are new people joining parenting all the time, there is
always the opportunity for a well- meaning new participant to violate
netiquette standards of the group. In those situations, it is best to
unobtrusively message the new participant through e-mail, encourage them
to read the FAQ section on netiquette, and assure the new participant
that
violations of netiquette standards by "newbies" are quickly forgotten.
Also, the fact that a warning tag did not appear does not mean that
etiquette was violated. Each participant in the newsgroups has the
ability
to stop reading a post or a thread of posts whenever he/she becomes
uncomfortable with or offended by the material. In other words, the
conclusion that "netiquette was violated" cannot be logically drawn from
the premise of "your post made me feel uncomfortable."

Please remember that there is no perfect method of parenting.
One should always keeping an open mind to other people's lifestyle
choices.

Finally, all a.i.parenting participants should realize that not everyone
views parenting and infertility in the same way that we, the
conceptionally challenged, do. Infertility is one of many interrelated
issues (including abortion, adoption and related moral and religious
beliefs) that are seen as controversial by many people. Because
infertility, infertility treatments and parenting in general are
sometimes
seen by others as a controversial issue, there is an increased
likelihood
that flame-trollers with less-than-helpful motives may lurk the groups,
looking for opportunities to stir dissension.

For clarification, a flame-troller is an individual who participates in
a
newsgroup for the primary reason of stirring up controversy. This can be
distinguished from a well-meaning participant who creates or contributes
to a controversial discussion. Flame-trollers can be particularly
disruptive for newsgroup participants because of the ability of a
flame-troller to post information anonymously and forge e-mail addresses
to essentially create conflicts among newsgroup participants.
Flame-trollers can often be recognized by the inflammatory statements
within their posts, the level of controversy associated with their
posts,
and, most importantly, a reader's strong negative reaction to these
posts.


It is best to avoid labeling anyone a flame-troller and try to ignore
posts by not responding either through the newsgroup or privately
through
e-mail. Flame-trollers quickly disappear when they are ignored, but they
will remain so long as attention is paid to them. If a controversial
post
originated from a well-meaning participant, this will usually become
apparent through the way that the person responds within the current
discussion thread or in subsequent threads.

In general, it is better to ignore those things that offend you than
to draw more attention to those things through follow-up posts.

Commercial posts, for the most part, are not welcome on
a.i.parenting. Anything that does not have to do with parenting or
infertility is inappropriate, as is anything that provides no real
information and just tries to sell a product.


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SECTION 6. RECOMMENDED READING

Adopting After Infertility
Patricia Irwin Johnston
Perspectives Press

The Best Friends Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood
Vicki Lovine

The Best Friends Guide to Toddlers
Vicki Lovine

Flight of the Stork:
What Children Think (and When) about *** and Family Building
Anne C. Bernstein
Perspectives Press

How Babies and Families are Made: There is More than One Way!
Patricia Schaffer

How I Began: The Story of Donor Insemination
New South Wales Infertility Social Workers Group
Fertility Society of Australia

Let Me Explain: A Story About Donor Insemination
Jane T. Schnitter
Perspectives Press. Warner Books

The Long-Awaited Stork:
A Guide to Parenting After Infertility
Ellen Sarasohn Glazer
Jossey-Bass, Incorporated

Mommy Did I Grow in Your Tummy?
Where Some Babies Come From
Elaine Gordon and Kathy Clo
EM Greenberg Press

My Story
University Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology
J.W. Northend, Ltd

Multiple Blessings, From Pregnancy Through Childhood, a
Guide for Parents of Twins, Triplets or More
Betty Rothbart, M.S.W.
Hearst Books

Twins! Pregnancy, Birth and the First Year of Life
Connie L Agnew, M.D., Alan H Klein, M.D. & Jill Alison Ganon
Harper Perennial Books.

Where Did I Really Come From? ***ual Intercourse, DI,
IVF, GIFT, Pregnancy, Birth, Adoption and Surrogacy
Narelle Wickham


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SECTION 7. LINKS TO INTERNET RESOURCES

The links below provide a sample of available resources. They
should be consider just a starting point. You can find more doing
an Internet search.

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7.1 BULLETIN BOARDS

http://www.fertilethoughts.net/childrearing/
Fertile Thoughts has forums for general parenting, only children,
parenting multiples, special needs, advice and inspirations.

http://www.inciid.org/interparenting.html
INCIID has several parenting bulletin boards including general
parenting after infertility, NICU, multiples, over 40, adoption, and by
child's birth date.

http://www.mostonline.org/mostforum/index.htm
Mothers of Supertwins (MOST) Online has forums for pregnancy,
infant/toddler, school-age, and marriage/family issues.

http://www.parentsplace.com/messageboards/
ParentsPlace has boards for different age parents, different age
children, multiples, special needs, potty training, and much more.

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7.2 LISTSERVS

eLIMBO - (electronic) Loss In Multiple Birth Outreach
http://www.egroups.com/group/elimbo
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Lake/5142/index.html
mailto:elimbo-subscribe@egroups.com

GoldfishAP - Attachment Parenting after Infertility
http://www.goldfishdreams.org
http://www.egroups.com/group/goldfishap
mailto:goldfishap-subscribe@egroups.com

IFBabies
http://www.egroups.com/group/ifbabies
ifbabies-subscribe@egroups.com

Mothers Via Egg Donation
http://www.surrogacy.com/online_support/mved/
mailto:tasc@surrogacy.com
Visit website to fill out on-line form, or send e-mail
for application. Type in subject line: send mved application

PAIS - Parenting After Infertility
To sign on, go to http://www.topica.com/group/PAI
or send an e-mail to mailto:PAIS-subscribe@topica.com

Parenting Multiples
http://www.goodstuff.prodigy.com/Lists/multiples.html#info
Send a message to mailto:majordomo@listserv.prodigy.com
The list is available in single messages or digest. Type one of the
commands in the body of the message.
Individual e-mails: subscribe multiples e-mail address
Digest: subscribe multiples-digest e-mail address

Preemie-Child
http://www.comeunity.com/premature/preemie-child/
To join, send a message to mailto:listserv@maelstrom.stjohns.edu
type in the body of the message: subscribe preemie-child

Preemie-l
http://www.preemie-l.org/
mailto:majordomo@lists.vicnet.net.au
In the body of the message, type:
subscribe preemie-l your email address

PSM (Parenting Surviving Multiples)
http://www.egroups.com/group/psm

Triplets-L
http://www.tripletsrus.com/triplets/triplets_list.htm
To subscribe, send a message to mailto:listserv@fatcity.com
in the body of the message, type: subscribe triplets-l

TwinsList
http://www.twinslist.org/
Send a message to mailto:listproc@usc.edu
in the body of the message, type: subscribe twins-L Your Name

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7.3 WEBSITES

Fertile Thoughts
http://www.fertilethoughts.net

For Parents of Preemies
http://www2.medsch.wisc.edu/childrenshosp/parents_of_preemies/

INCIID (InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination)
http://www.inciid.org

Mothers of Supertwins (MOST) Online
http://www.mostonline.org/

Parenting After Infertility
http://www.opts.com/parent.htm

Parenting After Infertility
http://infertility.about.com/health/infertility/msubparent.htm

Parenting Multiples
http://multiples.about.com/parenting/multiples/

Parenting Multiples After Infertility
http://www.owc.net/~twins/inf.htm

ParentsPlace
http://www.parentsplace.com

The Triplet Connection
http://www.tripletconnection.org/

Triplet FAQ
http://www.sentex.net/~jeanette/faq.htm

Triplets R Us
http://www.tripletsrus.com/

Twins List Mailing List and FAQs
http://www.twinslist.org/

What Should We Tell the Kids?
Talking to Children about Our Infertility
http://www.perspectivespress.com/pjkids.html


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SECTION 8 - ACRONYMS AND ABBREVIATIONS

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8.1 NEWSGROUP SPECIFIC ACRONYMS AND ABBREVIATIONS

2WW = 2-Week Wait
47XXY = Klinefelter's Syndrome

ACA = Anti-cardiolipin Antibodies
ACTH = Adrenal Corticotropic Hormone
AF = Aunt Flo (menstruation)
AH, AZH = Assisted Hatching
AHI = At-home Insemination
a.i = alt.infertility newsgroup
a.i.a, aia = alt.infertility.alternatives newsgroup
a.i.p, aip = alt.infertility.primary newsgroup
a.i.s, ais = alt.infertility.secondary newsgroup
AI = Artificial Insemination
AIH = Artificial Insemination from Husband
ANA = Anti-nuclear Antibodies
AO = Anovulation
AOA, AVA = Anti-ovarian Antibody
APA = Anti-phospholipid Antibodies
APTT = Activated Partial Thromboplastin Time
ART = Assisted Reproductive Technology
ASA = Anti-sperm Antibody
ASRM = American Society of Reproductive Medicine
ATA = Anti-thyroid Antibody
AWOL = A Woman On Lupron

B2 = Baby Two (mailing list)
BA = Baby Aspirin
BBT = Basal Body Temperature
BCP = Birth Control Pills
BD = Baby Dance (***)
BG = Blood Glucose
BMS = Baby-making ***
BSE = Breast Self-Exam
BT = Balanced Translocation
BW, b/w = Bloodwork

C# = Cycle Number
CAD = Carbohydrate Addict's Diet
CB = Cycle Buddy
CAH = Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
CASA = Computer-assisted ***** ****ysis
CBAVD = Congenital Bilateral Absence of the Vas Deferens
CCCT = Clomiphene Citrate Challenge Test (Clomid Challenge)
CD = Cycle Day
CD56+ = Natural Killer Cells
CF = Cervical Fluid
CM = Cervical Mucus
CMV = Cytomegalovirus
CNM = Certified Nurse Midwife
COH = Controlled Ovarian Hyperstimulation
COW = Curse of Womanhood (menstruation)
CP = Cervical Position
CVS = Chorionic Villae Sampling

D&C = Dilation & Curettage
D&E = Dilation & Evacuation
DE = Donor Eggs
DES = Diethylstilbestrol (a synthetic estrogen)
DHEAS = Dihydroepiandrosterone Sulfate
DI = Donor Insemination
DIPI = Direct Intra-peritoneal Insemination
DOST = Direct Oocyte-Sperm Transfer
DPO = Days Post-Ovulation
DPR = Days Post-Retrieval
DPT = Days Post-Transfer
DP3DT = Days Post 3-Day Transfer
DP3DT = Days Post 5-Day Transfer
Dx = Diagnosis

E2 = Estradiol
EB, EMB = Endometrial Biopsy
EDD = Estimated Due Date
ENDO = Endometriosis
EPO = Evening Primrose Oil
EPT = Early Pregnancy Test
ET = Embryo Transfer
ETF = Embryo Toxic Factor
ETA = Embryo Toxicity Assay
EW, EWCM = Eggwhite Cervical Mucus

FASIAR = Follicle Aspiration, Sperm Injection and Assisted Rupture
FBG = Fasting Blood Glucose
FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer
FHR = Fetal Heart Rate
FP = Follicular Phase
FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormone
FTTA = Fertile Thoughts To All
FUR = False Unicorn Root
FV = Fertile Vibes

GD = Gestational Diabetes
GIFT = Gamete Intra-fallopian Transfer
GnRH = Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone
GP = General Practitioner
GTT = Glucose Tolerance Test

HbA1c = Glycosylated Hemoglobin (also called Glycohemoglobin)
hCG, HCG = Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
HCP = Health Care Practitioner
HEPA = Hamster Egg Penetration Assay
hMG, HMG = Human Menopausal Gonadotropin
HP = Hannah's Prayer (Christian infertility / pregnancy loss group)
HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
HRT = Hormone Replacement Therapy
HSC = Hysteroscopy
HSG = Hysterosalpingogram

IBT = Immunobead Binding Test
ICI = Intra-cervical Insemination
ICSI = Intra-cytoplasmic Sperm Injection
IF = Infertility
IGTT = Insulin and Glucose Tolerance Test
IM = Intra-muscular (WRT injections)
INCIID = International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination
IOR = Immature Oocyte Retrieval
ITI = Intra-tubal Insemination
IR = Insulin Resistant
IUFD = Intra-uterine Fetal Demise
IUGR = Intra-uterine Growth Retardation
IUI = Intra-uterine Insemination
IVC = Intra-******l Culture
IVF = In Vitro Fertilization
IVIg = Intravenous Immunoglobulin

LAD = Leukocyte Antibody Detection Assay
LAP = Laparoscopy
LH = Luteinizing Hormone
LIT = Leukocyte Immunization Therapy
LMP = Last Menstrual Period (start date)
LO = Love Olympics (***)
LP = Luteal Phase
LPD = Luteal Phase Defect
LSP = Low Sperm Count
LUF, LUFS = Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome

MAI = Miscarriage After Infertility (mail list)
MC, m/c, misc. = Miscarriage
MESA = Microsurgical Epididymal Sperm Aspiration
MF = Male Factor
m.h.i, mhi = misc.health.infertility newsgroup
MIFT = Micro Injection Fallopian Transfer
m.k.p, mkp = misc.kids.pregnancy newsgroup
MMR = Measles-Mumps-Rubella Vaccine
MRI = Magnetic Resonance Imaging

NEST = Non-surgical Embryonic Selective Thinning
NK = Natural Killer Cells (CD56+)
NORIF = Non-stimulated Oocyte Retrieval In (office) Fertilization
NP = Nurse Practitioner
NSA = Non-surgical Sperm Aspiration

O, OV = Ovulation
OASIS = Overweight & Seeking Infertility Support (mail list)
OB = Obstetrician
OB/GYN = Obstetrician/Gynecologist
OC = Oral Contraceptives
OD = Ovulatory Dysfunction
OHSS = Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
ONNA = Oh No, Not Again (mail list)
OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
OPSS = Overweight & Pregnant Support (mail list)
OPT = Ovulation Predictor Test
OTC = Over The Counter
OTTC = Overweight & Trying To Conceive (mail list)
OW = Overweight

P4 = Progesterone
PA = Physician's Assistant
PANFERT = Pregnancy After Infertility (mail list)
PCO, PCOD = Polycystic Ovary Disease
PCOS = Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
PCP = Primary Care Physician
PCT = Post Coital Test
PESA = Percutaneous Epididymal Sperm Aspiration
PG = Pregnant
PI = Primary Infertility
PID = Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
PIO = Progesterone in Oil
PLI = Paternal Leukocyte Immunization
PMS = Pre-menstrual Syndrome
PNM = Perinatal Mortality
PNV= Pre-natal Vitamin
POC = Products of Conception
POF = Premature Ovarian Failure
PROM = Premature Rupture of Membranes
PTSD = Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
PZD = Partial Zona Dissection

RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
R-FSH, R-hFSH = Recombinant Human Follicle Stimulating Hormone
RI = Reproductive Immunologist
RIP = Reproductive Immunophynotype
ROS = Reactive Oxygen Species
RPL = Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
RSA = Recurrent Spontaneous Abortion
Rx = Prescription

SA = ***** ****ysis
SART = Society of Assisted Reproductive Technology
s/b, S/B = Stillbirth
SCORIF = Stimulated Cycle Oocyte Retrieval In (office) Fertilization
SHG, SonoHSG = Sonohysterogram
SI = Secondary Infertility
SIS = Saline Injection Sonogram
SLE = Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
SPA = Sperm Penetration Assay
SPALS = Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support (mail list)
s.s.p.l, sppl = soc.support.pregnancy.loss newsgroup
STD = ***ually Transmitted Disease
SUZI = Sub-zonal Insertion

T4 = Thyroxine
TEBG = Testosterone-Estradiol Binding Globulin
TESA = Testicular Sperm Aspiration
TESE = Testicular Sperm Extraction
TET = Tubal Embryo Transfer
TL = Tubal Ligation
TNF = Tumor Necrosis Factor
TORCH = Toxoplasmosis, Other, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus and Herpes test
TR = Tubal Reversal
TRH = Thyroid-releasing Hormone
TSH = Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
TTC = Trying to Conceive
TTCAR = Trying to Conceive after Reversal
TUFT = Trans-uterine Fallopian Transfer
Tx = Treatment
TZD = Thiazolidinediones

UR = Urologist
US, u/s = Ultrasound
UTI = Urinary Tract Infection

V = Vasectomy
VR = Vasectomy Reversal

WBC = White Blood Cells
WHR = Waist to Hip Ratio
WNL = Within Normal Limits

ZIFT = Zygote Intra-fallopian Transfer

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8.2 - GENERAL INTERNET ABBREVIATIONS

AMAP = As Much As Possible
AFAIK = As Far As I Know
ASAP = As Soon As Possible
AOL = America Online
BB = Bulletin Board
BBL = Be Back Later
BBW = Big Beautiful Women
BTW = By The Way
DD = Dear Daughter, Darling Daughter
DH = Dear Husband, Darling Husband
DHAC = Don't/Doesn't Have A Clue
DITD = Down In The Dumps
DP = Dear Partner, Darling Partner
DS = Dear Son, Darling Son
DW = Dear Wife, Darling Wife
FAQ = Frequently Asked Question(s)
FWIW = For What It's Worth
HTH = Hope This Helps
IIRC = If I Recall/Remember Correctly
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion, In My Honest Opinion
IMO = In My Opinion
IRC = Internet Relay Chat
LMK = Let Me Know
LOL = Laughing Out Loud (or Lots Of Luck)
MIL = Mother In-law (also FIL, SIL, BIL for the others)
NBD = No Big Deal
NG = Newsgroup
OT = Off Topic
OTOH = On The Other Hand
PITA = Pain In The Ass
POA = Plan Of Action
POV = Point Of View
PV = Postitive Vibes
ROTFL = Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFLOL = Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud
ROTFLMAO = Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off
SO = Significant Other
TIA = Thanks In Advance
TTFN = Ta Ta For Now
TTYS = Talk To You Soon
WB = Welcome Back
WF = Warm Fuzzies
WRT = With Respect To
WWW = Wise Women of the Web
YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary

Also check glossary at:
http://www.inciid.org/glossary.html

This section Copyright (c) 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001,
by Rebecca Smith Waddell. All rights reserved.
The text from this acronym list may be distributed as long as copyright
is attached and the use is not for profit.

__________________________________________________ ____________________
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end of alt.infertility.parenting FAQ

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~
mailto:bec@fertilityplus.org
Fertility FAQs and Info - by patients, for patients
http://www.fertilityplus.org/toc.html