snowlyz

My post is going to sound really stupid, but I hope someone out there
can understand me and help me. I'm a really shy person, and sometimes
I really hate being me...

I'm 14 right now, and 3 years ago... I started liking this guy.
Because to me, he's really perfect. The process in time of loving
someone is so hard, but I just can't stop loving him. I thought I got
over him, but I was only trying to cover it up, trying to tell myself
that he is not the one.
Maybe he likes me too, I'm not sure. I can never be sure... all I can
pick up are small signs from him each day, but none so obvious that my
heart can be sure of.
Yesterday was graduation... it all started out fine... but then we got
to the dance.
During the last minute of the dance, a love song came on. I walked
towards the wall and sat down with my friend and waited for it to be
over. Then I saw him.... crowded with girls, begging him to dance with
this one girl... that is someone I know (kind of as a friend). I've
always suspected her to like him... and that was my worst fear. And
yesterday, I saw my worst emotional fear right in front of my eyes.
Like a bad dream... only this time, I have to admit it real. Then...
he refused to dance, and walked out of the dance, with the crowd of
girls after him... making him hug that girl.
I felt so blank... away from that crowd.... and right then I had the
vision of how far I am away from him. Couldn't help it, but tears
started pouring out of my eyes. My friend said, "don't let it end this
way..."
she's right... I know she is, but I couldn't stop crying. Usually I
always have self control but this time... it's different. The pain is
so deep in my heart it feels like someone had just stuck a knife in...

It all takes time for this is heal... or will it ever? I tried
everything to forget, but why is it always so hard...

today is the first day of summer... yet I don't feel relieved from
schoolwork at all. All I feel is a pain... aching deeply in my heart,
and I cannot stop thinking about it. The worst thing about it is that
no one around me will understand. Not even my parents, or friends.

and little by little... I'm becoming suicidal. what should I do?

travis king

Rina,
Your post is NOT stupid...
I understand what you're going through, and I feel REALLY, REALLY sorry for
you. I also happen to be a shy person, but I do well in school. (3.571
GPA) I attend Roosevelt High School in Des Moines, Iowa. I will be 16 on
the 16th of this month. There was a girl that I liked since 7th grade.
Finally, in 9th grade, (October 3, 2003) which was a Friday and was home
coming, I finally somehow came out of my shell and taped a note to her
locker saying that I liked her and if she was interested in me. It wasn't
much longer that day before I got the note back. I put it away and waited
until I got home that day. At around 4:00 PM (CDT) after my painful dentist
appointment (tightening my braces) I opened up the envelope. My heart going
100MPH, I looked at it and I saw that my nightmare just came true. It said
and I quote "Sorry, I'm not interested". I also had a place that asks if
she even wanted to be just friends or not. She checked no there too. I
tried so hard; I put my heart on the line; it took me two years... all of
this for nothing. Just like you, Rina, I was unsure if she liked me or not.
I would see her look at me sometimes, and once when our class played 'Heads
Down 7 Up' or whatever it is, she, the girl that I like picked me. Also,
everytime I was around her, my heart rate would race. If I noticed her look
my way, I'd turn my head the opposite way. (Mainly because of my shyness I
believe.) To this day I still 'love' her but it feels that I have a big
hole in my heart. I have many days where I cry to sleep. I also don't look
forward to summer vacation because I know that I'm going to 'miss' her.
Even this year, I still do. I can't stop thinking about it either (8 months
later).
*Other things to mention*
-Rina, it appears that you have (a) nice friend(s)... your friend seems to
really care about you. (You SHOULD NOT let your friend go.)
-My friends typically pick on me or try to act strange to make me mad.
(They talk about strange things like controlling time or fire) One of my so
called 'friends' can seem like a little pervert and he talked about the girl
that I like and he said that she has a hot butt... What a pervert...
Unlike some people, being a pervert and making comments like this isn't the
first thing on my mind.
-Do you get picked on a lot at school? I do get picked on a lot... I've
actually had a person put his shoe on top of my head while I was waiting to
get into the classroom. (The worst school year of them all was 7th)
-Do you consider yourself popular at school? I don't consider myself
popular...especially since I have maybe three friends.
-Do you find yourself getting 'used' at school? I do in the respect of me
getting asked all the time if I have a sheet of paper or a pencil.

Rina, I know that you won't like this, but you should tell your parents
about it... they should know to get you help. (I know, it's very hard)
Your parents should understand because some of them have gone through this
themselves.
Rina, it sounds like that you're a good person, and I hope things get really
better and you get some more opinions. Again, I feel sorry for you.

(I hope that I'm not sounding too 'corny')

Best Wishes,
Travis King

*P.S.: It makes me feel better to know that someone else is out there that
is having the problems that I've got and to feel that I'm not the only one.*

travis king

Keep posting... I want to see how you are doing because I care about you...

Here are some more tips to give a shot:
1. I'd recommend the use of a body pillow at night with you in bed... Try
to pretend that it is the guy that you 'love'. It might help keep your mind
off of things at night. Pretend that you get along with him and he likes
you too. Hug him, kiss him, do as you please. This helps me some.
2. Go into a word processing do***ent and type in about your problems but
keep it in your own privacy. (You could also write if you would rather do
that or have no access to the computer.) It can sometimes get some of the
stress off your chest. Maybe write a journal.
3. Go out and run or walk outside... it helps me. (Or at least it helps me
for a while.) Take a friend if you want.
4. Do what you like to do the most. (For me that's building computers,
fixing them, etc.)
5. Listen to music that you like.
I hope some of these work... please keep posting.

sheldon

Trust me. Your post isn't stupid, and you're not the only 14 year old who's
been through this, or will go through this. It's all a normal part of
growing up, and unfortunately you can't make someone love you or care for
you, so don't take it personally. It's just the way it is.

You sound like a warm, wonderful, loving person, but when you focus all your
attention on one guy it's like wearing blinders. There may be others around
you who would love to be your boyfriend, but you don't see them because you
are so focused on this one guy.

You WILL get over this, and I'm sure you will find somebody, or somebody
will find you, but first you must be happy with yourself. If you've been
feeling sad about this that would be perfectly normal for anyone of any age,
but if you have been feeling sad for a long time, or having suicidal
thoughts, you really need to talk to your parents, your doctor, or some
adult you trust who can help you.

Sheldon
sheldon@sopris.net

travis king

I know that there's a girl at school that likes me, and I know who it is.
The problem is I am always seeing her with other boys (the same boys that
she's always with) and doing things with the other boys... 60% of the time
in class when I get assigned to a group, a person (usually girl for the
statistics) will say quietly, (but I can hear it) "Ewe, I don't want to work
with him". It makes me sad. The others typically don't seem too excited or
thrilled about it... I'm shy enough where I don't like picking my own group
members. I know no matter where you go, there will usually be someone that
you won't get along with but come on; this much? I can get along with some
people, but most of them would rather not have anything to do with me...

travis king

By the way, my real e-mail address is Puterman@mchsi.com in case you want to
e-mail me.

sheldon

is.

Assuming this is true, screw up all the courage you have, go up to her and
ask her about anything: school, the weather, a teacher you both have
together. It must be something that requires an answer so she almost has to
talk back to you. Once you break the ice, go ahead and tell her you're shy
and have been wanting to talk to her for a long time. Some girls like shy
guys -- a lot. And admitting you are shy will take some of the pressure off
you if you stumble or fumble with words.

I can't guarantee this will work, but if you have nothing going with her
now, you have nothing to lose if you try. Worst case scenario you'll be
right back where you started. It definitely takes some guts to walk up to
people you don't really know and say "Hi."


that

They are called "clicks" and have been around for eons. People tend to run
in packs in school, and there's always the in crowd and the out crowd. You
may have to find your own crowd. Get involved in some activities at school.
At least you'll be with some people you share a common interest with.

excited


It all works out eventually. Go rent the movie "Revenge of the Nerds."

I'll tell you a story: I wasn't all that popular in school, but when I got
to college I met this girl in the student lounge who was really nice and
friendly. Turned out she went to my high school but I didn't even know her
then. I don't think we had ever talked. Anyway, we became good friends,
and despite the fact that I didn't think she was all that attractive, she
became runner up in the Miss USA contest that year. Amazing what a little
makeup can do. :-) Anyway, I'm watching the pagent on TV and I can't
believe I know her.

Just hang in there.

heart,

that

travis king

Maybe I'll try that next school year, but it is currently summer vacation.

sheldon

Why wait?

Today I went for a hike on a an old mining road behind my place -- very
popular with everybody around here. I usually smile and say hi to every
girl I see. Some say hi back, but some don't even acknowledge my presence.
But sometimes, just sometimes, you find someone who will actually stop and
talk for awhile, and I've made a few friends just hiking up that hill behind
behind my place.

Unfortunately, I have to be prepared for those girls who don't even look up
at me, but the few who are willing to strike up a conversation can outweigh
a lot of bad ones. Remember what I said: Always ask a question that
requires and answer. "Hey, that's a really cool MP3 player you have. I've
been thinking about getting one (or getting a new one). What kind is that,
and do you like it?" You get the idea. It could lead to a conversation
about music and a trip to the mall to check out CDs. Complement her on
anything. "Nice watch. I was going to get my sister something like that
for her birthday. Where did you get that one?"

Heck, go someplace where nobody knows you. My first girlfriend in high
school didn't even go to my school. I met her at a party where the only
person who knew me was the guy who drove me to the party. And the first
time I called her her little brother answered and said he would tell her I
called, and then called me another guy's name and hung up! Anyway, I got up
guts to call again, which wasn't easy, and we dated for two years.

You never know.

from

friends.

travis king

Who knows, maybe the girl that I like never even saw the message and


meet girls for a shy person like me?
"Sheldon" <sheldon@REMOVEsopris.net> wrote in message news:sF6zc.18199$Hg2.3770@attbi_s04...

knife


is

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