joe

Sorry about bouncing back in without explanation... but things got
real serious here... Mom died yesterday in the hospital... I made it
there in time to be with her for a few minutes...i don't know if she
knew i was there or not.
Mom has suffered from multiple disease of her heart and lungs. 4
months ago, she went to Cleveland Clinic for Aortic valve replacement,
mitral valve repair and a double bypass... she was 78 years old and it
was very complicated... the surgery went fine but "things" started
happening 2 days after the surgery... that was on Nov. 10, 2003... she
fought one battle after another... with infections organ failure...
she fought for 3 months... never leaving ICU... i think that she
finally said ENOUGH!!!! you know??? 3 months in an ICU... not even
able to wipe your butt... she had a tracheotomy so she couldn't
speak... she was at the mercy of whoever gave her the time of day...
It was nearly unbearable to go visit her each day... and to see her
fight so valiantly... God Bless Her... She is free now...
Joe

jtadmabj

I'm so sorry, 3 months is a long time in a ICU . Take care of yourself

bebelestrnge

Re: I'm Back

Group: alt.support.grief Date: Tue, Feb 24, 2004, 9:13pm (EST+5) From:
slocook@bythefire.com (Joe)
Sorry about bouncing back in without explanation... but things got real
serious here... Mom died yesterday in the hospital... I made it there in
time to be with her for a few minutes...i don't know if she knew i was
there or not.
Mom has suffered from multiple disease of her heart and lungs. 4 months
ago, she went to Cleveland Clinic for Aortic valve replacement, mitral
valve repair and a double bypass... she was 78 years old and it was very
complicated... the surgery went fine but "things" started happening 2
days after the surgery... that was on Nov. 10, 2003... she fought one
battle after another... with infections organ failure... she fought for
3 months... never leaving ICU... i think that she finally said
ENOUGH!!!! you know??? 3 months in an ICU... not even able to wipe your
butt... she had a tracheotomy so she couldn't speak... she was at the
mercy of whoever gave her the time of day... It was nearly unbearable to
go visit her each day... and to see her fight so valiantly... God Bless
Her... She is free now... Joe

(((((Joe))))) I'm sorry for your loss. Yes she is free from the pain
and suffering.....
My sincere condolences to you and you're family. Bev

daniel

Oh, Joe. I am sorry about your loss of your mom. You have all been
through the mill during these last months. After things settle down the
every-day-ness of grief can take hold - don't be surprised if things don't
start getting better right away. Take your time. Try to take care of
yourself.

Peace.
--
Daniel
deltaechomike@usa.net

jae_1950

I found this and perhaps it can help you Joe.

"FOR THOSE I LOVE . . . . FOR THOSE WHO LOVE ME"

When I am gone
Let me go...
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years
I gave you my love,
You can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness...
I thank you for the love
You each have shown
But now it's time
I traveled on alone

So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must
Then let your grief
Be comforted by trust
It's only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories
That lie within your heart . . .
I won't be far away,
For life goes on
So if you need me,
Call and I will come
Though you cannot see me, or touch me,
I'll be near
And if you listen with your heart,
You will hear
All my love around you
Soft and clear

And then, when you must
come this way alone ....
I'll greet you with a smile and
"Welcome Home"

This poem was written by a good friend of mine when he learned he had
terminal cancer. It was found in his pocket.
I've come to believe this is what those who know they are dying, and cannot
talk, really want to say.
Hold on,
Jae

joe

Well... I'v ve managed to score zero... my family is not happy about
the funeral.... exG came back in to life until today... the day before
Mom's funeral... I am having a really hard time... feel like I need
space.

jae_1950

What's wrong with the funeral Joe?
Your ex girlfriend came back into your life today? The day before your
mother's funeral?
I hope it's to pay her respects... if it isn't take the space. It's always
up for grabs.
Be well and remember to hold on.
Jae

jae_1950

I just re read this. Your girlfriend came back into your life (UnTIL) today?

Do you mean, she left today?
Hold on
Jae

joe

Yeh... ex called last weekend... wanted to go see Mom... she was with
me when Mom passed away. She helped me a lot... good moral support.
Today is visitation and tomorrow is funeral... Xg left last night...
A couple of the members of my family are having a hard time with this
and have just been picking away at everything from burial plots to the
way the obituary was written...
My only recourse right now is to stay away from everyone... I don't
have the energy to fight the battles...

jae_1950

[...]

yen... ex called last weekend... wanted to go see Mom... she was with


Grief cloaks itself so savagely.

I'm so sorry.
Hold on
Jae