katie hugs

We have an 11 year old foster daughter through Mental Health Services. We
have had her for just over 6 months. She is seriously emotionally disturbed
and ADHD. Her early years were lived much like an animal with her two
sisters. The entire time she has been with us I have been miserable. She
doesn't follow any rules ever. She has terrible temper tantrums and has no
respect for adults. While all these behaviors are understandable, they are
also intolerable for me. I CAN'T STAND HER!!!! My husband keeps saying
"let's just try a little longer". He's been saying that for six months. We
had a foster daughter before her for 3 years. That was a wonderful
experience for the most part and we are still in touch with her. She is a
pretty normal child who has just been in lousy cir***stances. I would like
to go back to working for Social Services and take a less troubled child.
Any comments?
Katie

Dan is in your area. Good luck!

carmonfaith

Katie,
In my opinion and personal experience, if your feelings of
frustration are as strong as they seem and you don't feel like much
progress is being made, it is o.k. to say it isn't working. Your
frustration will be evident to her in some way or form. I had a ****
that was not working out and as hard as it is, our home is not going to
be the right one for every child. As foster parents we can not save the
world, and while you feel you are unable to deal with her, there may be
another foster family who is better able to suit her needs. We all have
areas that we feel the best in dealing with and those situations where
someone else may be better suited. It is not a personal strike on you
or your husband if she is moved. It is important to know when, in the
best interest of the child AND foster parent, that it is not working.
The sooner the agency knows of the concern the sooner they can look for
other options. I wish you well. It is not a fun postition to be in....