23rd August 18:53
jokes PTSD (schizophrenic stress down amnesia delusional)
Here's saying that is funny
just because everyone is out to get you is no reason to be paranoid
I thought I had a handle on life until the handle fell off
No matter how bad things get they can always get even worse
Trusting people can get you crucified
I haven't lost my marbles I just can't find them
people like you are why people like me need medication
I thought I was going crazy so I packed light knowing it would be a
I stopped talking to myself out of boredoom
Maybe the admission that you might be crazy proves that you might have
some sanity left
I'd better be crazy or I have a lot of explaining to do
Do you think you could plead not guilty by reason of stupidity
Normality is highly overrated.
we are living in an idiocracy rule by stupid people
I say the court systems are twelve people who weren't smart enough to
get out of jury duty trying to decide who has the better lawyer
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
the mother ship.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a
representative comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date
of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If
you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You
won't be crazy forever.
If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator.
There are 200 calls ahead of you.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that
the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to
bite off your ear.'
23rd August 18:53
jokes PTSD (eye)
A dead rat lies on the road next to a dead lawyer. The difference? There are
skid marks in front of the rat.
'You smug faced crowds with kindling eye
who cheer when soldier lads march by
sneak home and pray you'll never know
the Hell where youth and laughter go'