deneb@cox.net (susan

Marnia, the Deej, Peter, and all, Sorry about the "huh?". I read my posts by date received, therefore my last e-mails don't always make sense as I haven't read the ones before. Now you're saying, "huh?" Well, it's the CFIDS thing you know. Doesn't make any sense....but I still do it anyway. So now I know you were making reference to my ongoing sinus problems. Thank you for the links. I am giving in though, and will see yet another ER doc tomorrow night...and perhaps I'll get something that helps or perhaps I won't. Anyway....the lesser availability of badly needed oxygen I'm getting right now is making me more fatigued than ever...is that possible???
I loved your jokes about housekeeping, but I need even more serious help...like someone entering "the Munsters" house or "the Adams Family" or something. Too bad I don't have "thing". I'd give him lots to do! Things have gotten impossible...I feel the health police just around the corner...getting ready to bash in my door for abhorrent house keeping! : / Of course, hubby could help, but I think he's even given up. We didn't decorate for Halloween this year for the first time ever!
I love Halloween, and usually get dressed up, even just to give out treats. If it weren't for the new paint the landlord had put on, we'd qualify as creepiest house on the block I'm sure. I usually do things like act like a stuffed scarecrow out in the yard by a tree (leaning on it naturally), and when hubby opens the door, he says "well, I don't have any treats, but I think that creature over there does"...and suddenly I move, and they all go running and screaming!! Being a retired teacher, I just love that!! giggle, giggle! (luckily, I've never fallen over as the stuffed monster in the yard (yet!).That would be a laugh!)
I've scared a parent or two also. That's fun. But this year, I'll probably put up a sign that says," yes, we didn't decorate...but there's treats if you dare to come near" or something. I usually do scary music on speakers outside and the whole bit. Just don't have it in me this year. Oh well. It's also Nevada Day. Doesn't that just figure that Nevada, state of all worldly sin and yet many Mormons live here..., became a state on Halloween? I always thought, "how appropriate!".

Anyway, to Peter...what can I say? I guess in some ways I was "lucky" to be in an outbreak area, as it only took four or five ER visits before they took blood and told me what I had. But for others I know, it truly has been hell, being tossed from one doc to another, and being told even by family members that it's all in your head, or maybe it's psychosomatic! Even though I do know...it's still bad with no doctors here (other than the one specialist I can't afford anymore) being tossed out on my ear, basically, when they haven't even seen me yet, or have seen me for all of two minutes. I can empathize, but at least I found out quickly. I can imagine all the things ones thinks...like it's cancer or leukemia, and that they just don't know yet. Or some plague they've never seen before. Terrible for all CFS/ME sufferers. Worst of all I guess, is having family that doesn't believe you, even though they've known you as a go-go-go person all of your life. I had some of that myself and am still trying to make them understand.
I went until I couldn't "went" anymore, and like you, suffered for each and every thing I did, but didn't want to give in to "disability" (the forbidden word for me, Ms.Health). But I had to. When I couldn't stand up anymore, and fell more than my share and finally collapsed into a stupor....I had to give in. Luckily, as I said, I knew what I had. At that point, I had been sick for over 7 years, and had so much do***entation that there wasn't even that much to do to qualify for disability.
Someone mentioned PERS. As a state employee, that's what I had as my "pension". Nevada paid all of the contributions to it, so it was a wonderful nest egg. But when I couldn't go back to work and went on permanent disability...they made me take it out in small sums every month. But it almost pays my car payment.....whooo eee!!

So, my best to everyone. May you all make it through the holidays, and may I make it through the holidays (with my creepy house!). Sometimes, when depressed, those are the toughest times that you need friends the most. I hope you'll all post and get it out there to people who understand and have great sympathy. I try to give a little to friends who have it rougher than I do....and sometimes that helps my self-esteem a little, if not my spirit! Suzq

Don't go away Bob...I still have many questions for you...Ok?

counsellingme@yahoo.co.uk

Hi all,

Nobody mentioned shoving the washing-up in the oven - am I the only one without a dishwasher?

Suzq, although you had a diagnosis it still sounds like it was very terrible for you.
A strange thing I've often wondered about, while I did get disbelief from my family; my friends never questioned my illness - even though they were so used to me tearing about full of energy.
---------------

Last year my partner got me a Light Box for SAD. I find it really good. Has this already been discussed here?

Regards
Peter

charles.dodson@edwards.af.mil (dodson charles m civ 95

Okay, I am ignorant.. What is a Light Box and what do you do with it? Some
of the remedies I hear people talk about on here are very intriguing. Like,
what was it I heard about doing the "rocking chair" for an hour?

-----Original Message-----
From: counsellingme [mailto:counsellingme@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2003 2:40 PM
To: CFS-L@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
Subject: Re: Marnia, Peter, and everyone


Hi all,

Nobody mentioned shoving the washing-up in the oven - am I the only one
without a dishwasher?

Suzq, although you had a diagnosis it still sounds like it was very terrible
for you. A strange thing I've often wondered about, while I did get
disbelief from my family; my friends never questioned my illness - even
though they were so used to me tearing about full of energy.
---------------

Last year my partner got me a Light Box for SAD. I find it really good.
Has this already been discussed here?

Regards
Peter

counsellingme@yahoo.co.uk

Hi Charles,

The Light Box I've got is made by Philips. It has 2 daylight spectrum high frequency flourescent bulbs, so it generates light that is similar to daylight with no flicker (it does flicker actually but at approx 20k sec which is undetectable)

The purpose is to help people who are prone to SAD, Seasonal Affected Disorder/Depression. The theory is that the lack of sunlight in the winter causes some people to become depressed - and this is what happens to me.

I set up the lightbox so that it is about 2ft (this can vary) away from my eyes and in my field of veiw while I am watching TV, reading or on the computer. Depending on the power of the lightbox a certain time is needed each day, with my one it's 45 minutes. After only 10-15 minutes I already start to feel different. You are not supposed to stare at the light as it can hurt the eyes, but rather to glance at it occasionaly.

They are pretty expensive, in UK £120 -180. For this reason if anyone wants to try one I'd recommend finding an outlet that offers a 30 day money back guarantee, so if it doesn't help in a couple of weeks it's not a financial loss.

Have a look at:
http://www.brightlight.philips.co.uk/b/noflash.asp

Regards
Peter

cathyb0junk@netscape.net

This is really, really wierd, but in January I figured out the I have
the opposite of SAD. In other words, when I get out in the sunshine, I
feel lethargic and depressed and have headaches. Just another wierd
ailment that took me years to figure out.

It all started when I spent December and January in Anchorage, Alaska
with my kids. I loved it there. I had one of the best times of my
life. I liked the fact that it was dark when I got up in the morning
and took the kids to school. For the first time in my life, I had no
problem getting out of bed. I also really loved the twilight light that
lasted all day. My depression completely disappeared for the first time
in my life. At first I passed it off as being a result of spending time
with my kids. Not so. The year before, I had stayed with them in
Alaska in April, and didn't experience this effect.

Then, when I made the connection between the improvement in my
depression being related to less light, things that had been happening
to me for years all began to make sense. I have always hated picnics.
I always feel terrible when I go to a picnic. The reason is that I am
in the sun. Ditto for my kids soccer games. I have always hated them.
I don't mind indoor soccer or gymnastics, but I hate outdoor soccer.
Also, my mood always lifts considerably and my concentration increases
as soon as the sun goes down. I have always been notorious for being a
night owl and working all night, then sleeping all day. I also love
dark sunglasses, and get considerably anxious when I have to go out in
the sun without my sunglasses.

I have no idea what biological mechanism is driving this. I guess I
need to spend winter in Alaska and the summer in Antarctica. I also
love snow!

Cathy