caroline godfrey

My personal life just seems to be going from one bad move to another. My
now ex boyfriend and I split up in August just after his ex girlfriend had
their child, and obviously he went back to her. It's been 3 mths and I've
managed to keep well and trully away from him, except for when I work (I
work at the local club that he goes to). A group of us went out and hit the
town on Saturday night and stupid me went and slept with the guy, again.
I've been beating myself up now for two days. I even covered his ass with
his now girlfriend (mother of his child - not married by the way). I feel
like such a bitch. He says that he loves me and that he went back to this
girl because of his daughter being born. The mother of his child isn't
exactly the type of person who would take this in a rational adult fashion.
She would literally turn up at my house and belt the crap out of me, weather
my kids (4 and 2) were here or not. Now I don't know what to do. I love
this guy so much and we were really great together. I know I should have
said no, I know that I did the wrong thing - but I also know that I would do
it again. Am I being totally immoral here or is this just a really
complicated situation that I have to take one day at a time. I feel like
I'm losing my mind over this.

revjoelle

No you don't love him and no you weren't great together. I bet if you think
real hard and are real honest, the *** wasn't even that great. You are just
lonely and scared of being in the world without a man to lean on. Well get
over it honey, your kids need you to be confident enough that you can raise
them and take care of them without some man in your bed.

Well if you are that sure that you have absolutely no control, find some nice
relative to raise your kids for you because you are not fit to. How the hell
are your children supposed to learn anything about self-discipline,self respect
and self control if you can't even keep your legs together around some fool tom
cat who obviously can't keep it in his pants?


Let's just take the whole morality question out of it and say YOU ARE BEING
STUPID.

No it's not complicated. If you really are this weak, get some counseling, get
some help or give your children to someone who has a little backbone.


Maybe if you just stopped thinking about yourself for two seconds and thought
of what your children need you would get a clue.

Geesh, someone tell me this is a troll.

Joelle

celtic castaway

I know that pattern.... take a look at this info, and if it reminds you of
yourself then seek some professional help and stay away from any type of
relationship until you figure it out. Focus on your kids, need them as much
as they need you, and stay away from clubs... or any place where picking up
men and alcohol are combined...

Good Luck
CC

People with dependant personality go beyond the normal degree of
interdependence to allowing another person to take over major areas in their
lives. It is not unusual for people with this disorder to have another
personality disorder. They are also at a higher risk for developing major
depression, dysthymia, and anxiety disorders. There are no reliable
estimates to this disorder's prevalence. The major traits of dependant
personality disorder are:

Need for others to control their lives
They have difficulty in making decisions or initiating new projects on their
own. This is because they lack the self-confidence and trust in themselves,
not because they lack motivation or energy.

Submissive and clinging behavior
People with this disorder have problems expressing disagreement with others
because they fear the person will not like them or support them afterwards.

Fears of separation and abandonment
Individuals with dependant personality disorder have a strong need to be
taken care of. They will volunteer to do undesirable tasks to keep another
person 's affection and support. After a relationship ends, they may feel so
incapable, helpless, and alone that they will search for a new partner and
enter into a relationship with the first person to come along.

Lack of confidence in themselves and abilities
People with this disorder often belittle their own abilities and would
describe themselves as dumb or stupid. Because they doubt their own ability
to make decisions, they feel uncomfortable and helpless when no one is there
to take care of them. A person with this disorder will rarely initiate
projects or activities because they lack self-confidence in their judgement
or abilities.

Treatment
Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for dependant personality disorder.
Much of the time is spent teaching assertiveness skills, decision-making,
and developing independence using behavioral and cognitive techniques. Like
many of the personality disorders, a supportive the****utic relationship is
vital. Within this relationship, the person with dependent personality
disorder will begin expressing their true feelings, make decisions, and deal
with episodes of anxiety. This will help to boost their self-esteem. Group
therapy can help them to develop supportive relationships and provide an
atmosphere to try their new social skills. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can
help them challenge negative self-thoughts.

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kate <>

On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 15:20:50 +1000, "caroline godfrey"
<caroline_30@powerup.com.au>

You're going to wright down how you feel now and how mad you are at
yourself for being weak. You're going to keep it in your pocket at all
times and if you are ever tempted by this man again, you're going to
read it. This isn't healthy for you and you know it because you can't
stop thinking about it.

If you take good steps, even small ones, eventually you will find the
relationship that is just right for the *both* of you and it will be
much better than anything you ever dreamed. Don't settle.

'Kate

kate <>

On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 19:38:20 -0600, 'Kate <>

one of these days, I'm going to learn how to use a spell checker.
<sigh> wright = write.

revjoelle

You were trying to get her to think about the "Right" thing to do...

Joelle

kate <>

On 11 Nov 2003 02:45:17 GMT, revjoelle@aol.comgoaway (Joelle)

Probably so.
<whew!>

Thought for a second there that I forgot how to... what was I saying?

:-)

'Kate

dennis here

I know the feeling. For a while I adopted the motto
"Always in the shit, only the depth varies"

Snip the details

He does not love you.
He may have said as such and he will also have said the same to his
girlfriend. He will no doubt say it to any woman if he thinks there is a
fair chance of a shag.
He looks at life through the eye of his **** and confuses love with a
feeling he gets in his pants.
Looks like you are heading in the same direction.
If you want to be better than him then have a good long look at yourself and
concentrate on getting to a point where you are content purely on your own
account without the need to have someone else around.
The amazing thing is that when you get to that point, good decent people
will start to be attracted to you and you will be able to see right through
the **** heads.

Dennis

dennis here

Wow! What a lot of buzz words!
What does it mean?

Dennis

kate <>

On Tue, 11 Nov 2003 18:43:07 -0000, "Dennis Here"
<denanson@plonkergofree.indigo.iepullmyplonkerwhen youreply>


hehe.... <raising hand> I know! I know! If you tell me who "them"
are, I'll tell you what IT is.

'Kate