doris ginner

hello,
I'm an austrian girl with 23 years. (firstly, I'm sorry for my worse english
knowledge)
And I've your interesting newsgroups.
Cause I have some problems with my mother I just try it at your community.
Maybe somebody of you can help me.

It's about my mother, she is 54 years - with a lot of problems (which aren't
really problems, but she think so)
She has anything she need (house, well family, money) - she only have some
"backaches" (i don't know if it's the right word)
But she isn't happy since some years - cause she think she is not worth
living - cause it isn't any interesting any more.
So we - her family (brother, men, sister, grandma,..) try very kind to happy
her up, but nothing doesn't work.
She also is in treatment of a psychiater - but this doesn't work.

So i ask, if this could be a typical sign of menopause - and if there any
easy ways to smarten up.
We realy try everything to make her life easier, but she doesn't see it.
She had already some depressions, but these aren't.
I think it's only the fact, that she don't have any work to do (she was
working on her farm, but this farm no belongs to my brother - every child is
old enough to look for oneself).
Are there any ideas?

best wishes to the rest of the world
Doris
(Austria - Europe)

frankenmel@aol.comdont

Welcome to ASM,and good for you,caring so much about your mother.

She could very well be experiencing perimenopause.

Here is a site that could be helpful for you

http://www.geocities.com/menobeyond/beyond.html

Keep us posted. Does she have hobbies? Can she read this newsgroup?


Sharon........A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.

cg

Hi, Doris, and welcome to a.s.m.

I wonder if there is a European group that could help you better than
we can, due to the language barrier (do any of our European members
know?) What other languages are you able to read?

That said, I'm willing to try to give you some my thoughts on this,
but I think we will need some more information about your mother in
order to really help you.

Also, please bear in mind that none of us are doctors and our friendly
advice is only that -- friendly advice based on what you tell us.

It sounds like your mother is clinically depressed. You say that your
mother sees a psychiatrist -- did this doctor put her on medication
and does her therapy include talking to the doctor on a regular basis
about how she feels? How long has she been seeing the psychiatrist?
If she is on medication, how long has she been taking it? Therapy for
depression can take some time to work.

The ups and downs of the hormones during this time of life can make
things very difficult for a woman, physically, mentally and
emotionally -- and it is not something that we can control, for the
most part.

Since you used to have a farm, perhaps she is missing the physical
exercise that was part of her daily work for so many years. Getting
regular exercise is very important, both mentally and physically. If
she is used to an active lifestyle and no longer has that, it could
affect her emotions quite a bit.

Can you find the words to describe her physical symptoms? Does she
have hot flushes? Does she have trouble sleeping? What other
symptoms does she have?

There are others in this group who might be able to give you more
insight than I can. They will be along soon.

Again, welcome!

Cathering


-- "Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it." - Anne Lamott

.......You may reply to email in header but be sure to delete the word SPAMFREE from the address.

chakolate

Hi, Doris, and welcome. Your English isn't perfect, but it's
understandable, and that's the important thing. Actually, the mistakes you
make are cute - and Americans like cute. :-)

Lots of women get depressed during menopause. Some of it's physical,
because our bodies are changing, and some of it's mental/emotional because
we are changing our lives. Our children don't need us any more, we can't
have any more children, we feel (sometimes) like we have no purpose any
more. And with your mom not working like she used to, she has extra reason
to feel bad.

But you shouldn't assume that all she needs to do is get more work or
something to interest her. It's just not that simple. You say she is
working with a psychiatrist, that's good. Has he suggested any medicine
for her? It sounds to me like she could use an antidepressant.

I take an antidepressant, though, so naturally, I think every one could use
one. <grin> But if she has been in this state for more than two weeks,
she may need help getting out of it.

Can she come visit us here on this newsgroup? She might find that
discussing how she feels with others who have been there will help her. A
lot. If her English isn't good enough, you could maybe translate for her?

Even if she can't come here, will you tell her for me, please, that she is
normal, everything that is happening to her is part of a normal life
passage, she is not alone. Sometimes just knowing that can help.


Chakolate

--

On sadness:
The cure for this ill is not to sit still,
Or to frowst with a book by the fire,
But to take a large hoe and a shovel also,
And to dig till you gently perspire.
--Rudyard Kipling

vw

I'm no expert but it sounds familiar to me! Depression is common and comes
and goes. If we try to keep busy it helps. Not working makes us feel our
own problems much more because we concentrate on our own problems more than
those of the rest of the world.

Maybe if she talked with some women of her own age, like this meeting form,
and could see that she's not alone. That always helps me.

VW