mermaid

Now that I have decided to go to a counselor, finding one that is Christian
based and on my insurance list and recommended is going to be a challenge.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers,
Paulette

jdwat

Hi Paulette!

Maybe you could have a word with your pastor tomorrow or Sunday. Many
will counsel couples or know of someone else. You could go to another
counselor, if you can't find one with your spiritual needs & see the
Christian counselor as you deem necessary.

IMHO, the stress you're under needs immediate attention, even if you
have to begin the counseling on your own - without hubby. If you have
the extra money to pay out of pocket, I truly feel it would be a worthy
investment to see a pastor or someone he recommends to you while you
search for another couselor.

Hugs,
Maggie

bruce

Hugs Paulette:
Thought yesterday I would wait till you read posts from all our fair maids
before my non profesional thoughts.
A counselor to vent your fears one on one is the best move, you are at the
breaking point by your words.
Hubby , is in complete denial and will not act normal when b/s is way off by
not following his diet!
He will become a danger to yourself and others only because of body
chemicals being out of balance which in turn effect brain reality.
If it is possible to video hubby in a bad spell and then with you and
counsellor play it back to him in a good time he would then see the other
side . This I have seen in the hosp. jolts one back in disbelief.
Bruce On. " the above is only my thoughts and taken from what I saw as a
paramedic for 37 yrs. before retiring"

mermaid

Bruce, funny that you would say some of these things. He even scares me when
he is driving. Talking about road rage. He is so impatient with himself and
others. We have had several wrecks with me in the car with him in conditions
that was not good for going too fast and too close. I feel like in all the
wrecks we have been in God has been there to protect us. I don't know how
many lives we can use up until something happens that he is going to regret
about. He has no concept of time either. He can ask me to do something for
him or go get something and even if I run, he asks me what took me so long.
And it seems the older he gets the worse it gets. I am deaf in one ear so of
course that gets me in trouble a lot and I think he is losing his too. Isn't
it grand getting old! My problem is courage and no self-esteem. There is no
way I could ever approach him on this. At least not right now. God has
gotten his attention in certain times of his life. I am afraid it may take
something drastic to do it again. And it may take me along with it. He just
lost his father 2 months ago for which I know that was a jolt. And yes I
think he is in denial, but how do they wake up? Will it take him flat on his
back and in a hospital? Or hurt on the job? He worries about his health
constantly but does little about it but take his medicine. He has aches and
pains because of his strenuous job and does not feel like exercising.

I keep on thinking, well next year will be better, It never happens. He used
to go to Promise Keepers. (Missed the last 2 years )They said if you want to
know what kind of man you are, look in your wife's eyes. He hasn't looked
lately. Or maybe he has forgotten.
Sorry for the ramble.

Paulette

ruthtay

Even if your mate does not go to counseling it is important for you to
get help to deal
with the stress. Growing older is more of a threat to men that it is to women
according to my observation. since I am probably the oldest person in the
group have seen so many personalities change while aging.
of us are more stubborn and will not adjust so want to continue what we
always have done. As for the driving maybe he could go to 55 alive and learn
that after 55 our impatiance is the greatest danger to other drivers.
My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to keep from getting stressed out
when lupus is present so be good to yourself,,,,,

n article <vrkh17gbh5l659@corp.supernews.com>, "Mermaid"

nrclifton

(((((((Big Hugs Paulette))))))) sending you wonderful energy to see
this challenge through to better times.

Self care is one I think we are first to forget, part of the human
condition I guess.
'
Love to you and yours.
Nicole C.