donna

dear catinthehat,

i felt no grief for my father when he died. he had been gone, both
emotionally and physically for many years. what did surprise me,
however, was the depth of regret i experienced at what might have
been. a life discarded left a hole in me. the finality of death
opened the realization that the time for miracles was gone; the
possibility (no matter how slim) that we would someday have a loving
father/daughter relationship had evaporated.

like you, i mourned not the actual person but the dream. and dreams
die hard, don't they?

donna