24th February 09:43
ok, maybe i *am* manic (depression)
insomnia. 2nd night in a row. i got about 2 hours of sleep
sat night, and haven't even bothered trying yet tonight
(it's 3:15 am here). i got about 15 minutes worth of
napping in this afternoon.
hello? jt's body?? umm...we have narcolepsy. it *will*
start catching up with us if we don't get some serious
i'm not even sleepy. i don't feel tired. i have no
interest in going to sleep.
maybe i'll go take that mania quiz again, see what i come up
ok...if i take wellb*trin for depression, and my pdoc upped
my dose for a month (which worked GREAT!!!), but then i lost
the next script, and have gone back to my previous dose (am
taking my leftover meds) until i get up the energy to call
my pdoc for another script (but, see, i was supposed to get
it filled 2 or 3 weeks ago, and...) ...would that possibly
trigger a manic episode instead of a depressive one?
i've also been writing a *lot* to the ng lately, in case no
one noticed...*whistles innocently*...looks like ~4 symptoms
of mania that i can see...(counting the suing thread as one,
the off-color joking thread as another, the general increase
in word output sorta feeling like a variant of "pressured
speech", and now insomnia. plus my continuing thread of
"save the world", as noted by my preoccupation with "fixing"
bruce...which i'm getting better at ignoring. yay!)
hmm...of course, taking the mania quiz *yet again* is a sign
of ocd behav's, so *clearly* i'll have to take the ocd quiz
again.....and i can't take the mania quiz without taking the
depression quiz...i just *love* online quizzes!!! :-D
"It is astonishing, really, how many thoroughly mature,
well-adjusted grown-ups harbor a teddy bear -- which is
perhaps why they are thoroughly mature and well-adjusted."
-- Joseph Lempa
24th February 19:43
ok, maybe i *am* manic (depression)
was WAAAAAYYYYY into the "severely manic" range (though i'll
always test as somewhat manic cuz i have pretty bad adhd).
i couldn't even *take* the depression inventory, cuz i
couldn't come down enough to think about being depressed.
then i took the ADD screening, and practically maxed out all
the questions. i think i got my highest score ever on that
quiz, and pretty close to my highest ever on the mania quiz.
then i took another nifty quiz and discovered that dave and
i have a l*ve relationship. awwww.....
and now i know that it's 3:34 am, and i'm buzzing like a
chainsaw, and what do you DO when you're this manic???
this kinda started when bruce moved out, mostly cuz of the
bathroom project. i *REALLY NEED IT FINISHED!!!* ...but
i'm at a planning stage right now which has been going
NOWHERE for DAYS because i can't focus my mind on it
so...ok...is my anxiety and distress over needing it
finished so badly and being deprived of some of the
resources that were going to make it do-able for me causing
me to be more manic/scattered?
should i just call my pdoc tomorrow, tell her i need the
script, and say "oh, btw...i just about maxed out a mania
quiz online...any suggestions?)
i can't sleep.
i need to go to sleep. if only because dave sleeps better
when i'm there. awwwww.....
seriously, it's only been the last couple of manic phases
that i've really started accepting that i'm manic: what do
i'll go try meditating. should be a challenge... *sigh*
l8r...wish me luck! with something!!!
jt (hey...it's actually JT! hiya, JT!!! welcome back!)
25th February 03:37
ok, maybe i *am* manic (risperdal)
here, have some more coffee! <snark> (I love that word!
avoid cocoa, too, for a bit. imho
do call your pdoc and stabilize your wbutrin levels.
we seem to be coming out of a bad no sleep prob, but only with the
help of 0.25mg risperdal taken at night. do get your pdoc
involved in this one.
soft safe hugs.....
25th February 14:51
ok, maybe i *am* manic (headache)
actually, i think i got the massive headache that's often
associated with caffeine withdrawl the other day... i go
thru phases with coffee. 'sides, usually i'll only have a
cup a day. it's just that the spoon gets stuck stirring it
cuz it's too thick. if my coffee isn't strong enough to
fight back, i don't want it! :-D
i did, somewhat to my surprise. i had to call her bout the
wellbtrin anyway, and left the msg that i'm feeling pretty
manic. she called earlier and we talked a bit - nice when u
do the pressured speech thing without thinking, ya know? (i
always feel like i fake more psych symptoms than i actually
have, ya know? comes from a lifetime of minimizing.)
she's reducing the wbtrin, actually, but increasing the
anti-anxiety thingy. it's not that i'm feeling anxious, but
the effect on my mind is the same as if i were, and this med
is supposed to keep the brain from firing erratically:
should fix both problems (ie: anxiety and manic
blizzard-condition thought processes. )
weird actually having a pdoc who's worth something more than
a couple of pieces of paper to hand to the pharmacist...