deeds

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover
of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her
boyfriend is on the cover of PlayGirl. And her husband is on the back of the
milk carton.

A WOMAN'S PERFECT REVENGE
"Cash, check, or charge?" I asked, after folding the items the woman wished
to purchase. As she fumbled in her purse for her wallet, I noticed a remote
control for a TV in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I
asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me
so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can
take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the
root, and still be afraid of a spider.

AND THE BEST YET..........
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales
girl notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he is looking
for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A
few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
your wife?" He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday I sent my wife
to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin
of tobacco and some rolling papers; because it's soooooooooooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she!"


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Deeds
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I'm proud (as Junquie # 12) to say that I haven't had a freakin' sick stick
in: Two weeks, four days, 11 hours, 40 minutes and 13 seconds. 647
cigarettes not smoked, saving $145.58. Life saved: 2 days, 5 hours, 55
minutes.