seeker

I know this wasn't directed at me, but I'd love to be able to do that
too -- but she won't let me.

Ted

doug anderson

Seeker <anon-30263@anon.twwells.com> writes:

Yeah, I think the poster's issue was making *** last longer for his
partner's pleasure. It isn't clear that making *** last longer would
increase the pleasure of _your_ partner.

tooexcited

Yes, very serouse and thanks for the reply's. I will try your advice.

doug anderson

"Tooexcited" <tooexcited@nowhere.com> writes:

Ah, if this is what it's about, then maybe _time_ isn't the issue.
If you are trying to give her an ****** during genital intercourse,
then maybe you just aren't doing it "right." Don't ask me what
"right" is though - in my limited experience it depends on the woman
involved.

But I'd go back to what I said before - try to find things which seem
stimulating for her, but aren't (physically) stimulating for you.

That would seem to be a good thing, no?


I don't think you really want to block it out. More like work around
it.

tai

well on going down on her and satifying her that >way but I want more. I
wan't to be able to last long enough to satify her the other way as well.
It seem to be a mind over >matter thing. She is all I can think about while
I am making love to her. Her being turned- on turns me on as well. Ive tried
to >block it out but it doesn't seem to work. Every sound, sight and touch.

There seems to be a few things going on here, the first being your wish to
have better control over when you ****** and the second being that you want
your wife to reach ****** during intercourse. Added to that you are under
the impression that simply lasting long enough is the key to getting your
wife to ****** ******lly.

Do some research on the stop/start method for controlling premature
ejaculation. Another technique is the squeeze method but I don't think this
is as effective and can have the opposite effect. (I'm speaking as a woman,
btw.) You can use intercourse as foreplay alone for her, or afterplay alone
or have it as foreplay and the main event, depending on what stage of
arousal your wife is at. Some women dislike intercourse until they have had
a lot of foreplay and others quite like to start there and stop and do
something else for a while, change position and start again. Don't get stuck
into one pattern, try to be flexible as a couple and explore different ways
of enjoying each other.

Next, for many women ******l ****** doesn't happen just because she's been
bonked long enough. After a while she may actually become bored and sore
rather than transported to great heights of ecstasy. Your wife can ******
clitorally, obviously. Have you tried stimulating her clitoris while you're
having intercourse? Once she can achieve ****** that way it may be possible
for her to learn how to ****** with just your penis inside her or by getting
clitoral stimulation from your pubic bone at the same time as intercourse.

*If* she wants to and if it's important to her. ******s come in all shapes
and sizes and the method itself is probably more important emotionally to
the woman and her partner than it is physically. All paths lead to Rome, and
all that. It's a matter of her learning to recognise the triggers in her own
physical responses and you providing the environment where she can take full
advantage of her responses. That's where having good control of your own
body comes in. My definition of premature ejaculation is "before I want him
to" and I suspect most women feel the same way.

hth,
Tai