lmoor

Hi I am 34, bipolar 2, I think I am hypersensitive to Anxiety and depression
at the moment, because of a abrupt quitting of Seroxat (due to
pregnancy...planned but a little bit quicker than expected, I was down to
5mg, but only for 4 days...then I stopped altogether)
I saw my brand new pdoc last week and something she said keeps swimming
around in my head...she said that I have been MILDLY depressed, hopefully
everything is fine, but because I don't want to take any meds during
pregnancy I should be open minded about a hospital stay if I feel any
mania.... the "mildly" bit is driving me crazy, because if she can be so
wrong about that then how can she really help me! but how could anyone help
me after meeting me for one hour during which I was suffering from painful
anxiety, shaking and sweating! I actually said that I could not bear to talk
about my family history, as I couldn't cope...I don't think I have ever said
that before!
I really think I know depression, and not just my own but the whole spectrum
of reactive/endogenous, it has been with me always, and I grew up with
it...I don't exaggerate, but I cling onto any ounce of strength to get
through and climb out, I guess I could have sounded far too positive and
together, but I can't believe that...I have been severely depressed but
slightly improved when I saw her, and I told her I though it was lifting and
I thought I was getting better, but the yesterday I felt terrible and was
considering suicide
I think I need help and support desperately, I have had the merest hint of
psychiatric help for the last few years but have helped myself hugely in
this time by learning everything I can about the illness I have and my own
psychological issues, should I ask to see her once a week for a few weeks,
my next appointment is Nov 21st, I am still suffering from suicidal
depression, only 5 weeks pregnant, but certainly not accepting this yet,
trying though, trying really, really hard to get better. I am not enjoying
the way people talk about pregnancy especially "everybody goes through that"
OR "it's just natures way" why do I find these things so uncomfortable, they
offend me deeply...oversensitive I guess.
Also I am having a hell of a time coping with the things that have come
back, as if to haunt me from 13 years ago, when I first took Seroxat, it
really did help me to turn my life around, could it also have triggered a
manic year? that is what the evidence seems to suggest...if that is so then
I guess I won't have another mania, but this depression and anxiety is BAD
today and I am struggling, should I consider a different safer
anti-depressant?
I am due to start psychotherapy (because I was violently abused in childhood
by my Mother) anytime now, have been on the waiting list for 6 months, and
the pdoc told me to chase it up...I can't of course because I think it could
send me over the edge....I will have to leave it for a week or two and see
how I am....but really should the pdoc do this for me?, chasing them up
doesn't mean that I will get an appointment straight away, but I can't make
a call like that...not now, is that a lack of understanding, or am I now
expecting far to much from a pdoc?
.....please, if anyone has empathy for me on any of these things, or
knowledge, whatever I would be very grateful, I am very afraid
I can't seem to let anyone in (friends, I am not in contact with family) so
no one can help me...I do have a fantastic partner, and I am trying not to
wrap him up in my nightmare, he looks in (to my mind) from time to time and
just tries to be nice the rest of the time.
by the way, to the regulars, thank you for being such a cool group of
people! I have learned alot from this group.
Laura

maggiesheridan

Here's what worked for me and I wish I had tried it much sooner.

After trying to find a therapist, calling all that I was referred to and
getting absolutely no return phone calls. Only one had the courtesy to leave a
message on my machine to tell me that he was full and wasn't accepting new
patients.

In quasi desperation, I called my insurance company and told them that I needed
to be seen by a therapist ASAP. This was on a Thursday or Friday night. They
found one for me and I had my first appointment that Monday. I've been seeing
him twice a week since April and it seems to have helped. Call your insurance
company!

We have a lot in common. I'm also BP2 and am a survivor of very dramatic and
severe child abuse from my undiagnosed BP mother.

Re: the pregnancy: congratulations.

Unfortunately, your body will be going through a whole lot of natural changes
in hormone levels and this can be very, very difficult to deal with.

Here is a long shot. I think that I read that the mood stabelizer, Lamactil
may be safe to take during pregnancy. it has only recently been approved for
the treatment of Bipolar Affective Disorder, but was the drug of choice for
epilectics for years.

I am not sure, and could be wrong, but I think that I read that it had been non
harmful during the pregnancies of epileptic women. Again.........I am really
not sure of this.

I'd call your p-doc.....leave a detail message, and ask her/him to look into
it.

Perhaps even better, call a good pharmacist (not just the pharmacy clerk)_ and
ask if they kjnow wheter or not Lamactil can be taken during
pregnancy....mention the possibility that research with epileptic women during
pregnancy was positive.

Again, I apologise if I have remembered this incorrectly.

At least it may be worth finding out about.

All best wished,

Maggie
Mother of 2.

maggiesheridan

Here's what worked for me and I wish I had tried it much sooner.

After trying to find a therapist, calling all that I was referred to and
getting absolutely no return phone calls. Only one had the courtesy to leave a
message on my machine to tell me that he was full and wasn't accepting new
patients.

In quasi desperation, I called my insurance company and told them that I needed
to be seen by a therapist ASAP. This was on a Thursday or Friday night. They
found one for me and I had my first appointment that Monday. I've been seeing
him twice a week since April and it seems to have helped. Call your insurance
company!

We have a lot in common. I'm also BP2 and am a survivor of very dramatic and
severe child abuse from my undiagnosed BP mother.

Re: the pregnancy: congratulations.

Unfortunately, your body will be going through a whole lot of natural changes
in hormone levels and this can be very, very difficult to deal with.

Here is a long shot. I think that I read that the mood stabelizer, Lamactil
may be safe to take during pregnancy. it has only recently been approved for
the treatment of Bipolar Affective Disorder, but was the drug of choice for
epilectics for years.

I am not sure, and could be wrong, but I think that I read that it had been non
harmful during the pregnancies of epileptic women. Again.........I am really
not sure of this.

I'd call your p-doc.....leave a detail message, and ask her/him to look into
it.

Perhaps even better, call a good pharmacist (not just the pharmacy clerk)_ and
ask if they kjnow wheter or not Lamactil can be taken during
pregnancy....mention the possibility that research with epileptic women during
pregnancy was positive.

Again, I apologise if I have remembered this incorrectly.

At least it may be worth finding out about.

All best wished,

Maggie
Mother of 2.

lmoor

I am in the UK, so I don't have an insurance company! but I am confident
that I will get seen if I make enough phone calls!
.....what kind of therapist do you have? Is it psychotherapy, and from my
assesment interview I think it is going to be a traumatic thing to go
through....how are you finding it? I don't think it will help me with this
level of depression and anxiety, and I am not sure that they will accept me
if I haven't got it under control, they are quite strict about that.

yes, I really don't know what is happenning to me because so many different
factors are at play, all I know is that I am getting worse.

I was thinking of asking the doctor to refer me to an obstetrician, but I
have given up on that idea...the only drugs I could try are other SSRI's
with lesser withdrawal effects, possible Prozac, I have an appointment with
my pdoc on Friday and will ask for something. I feel like an idiot for
trying to stop meds completely, but my pdoc was off sick for 6 months and I
made this decision alone.