none

You're trying to teach Animeg not to be an utter hypocrite? I can save
you some time, the result will always be the same, none.

kitznegari

none said:


amen.

- k i t z -
http://spinning_plates.tripod.com

animeg3282

Yea, you can't convince me to shut up when someone insults me. Maybe you should
learn not to insult people all the time.
--

http://animeg.blogspot.com/ <--yet another shitty blog.
http://members.fortunecity.com/animeg3282/ <---Fancy Lala Club!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fancy_lala <mailing list for Lala fans

wayne rasmussen

You are right about that. As much as I am for people moving on and taking
risks, there seem to be many people who have problems other than simply caring
what people think of them. For some it take real insight and learning but
basically risks and thought control.

wayne rasmussen

I see what is going on here. This is more than simple affirmations, this ends
up being thought control. Let me guess, did you ruminate about social
interactions? You reactions to the affirmations make me think that. Thought
control can have a major quick change to your mental state.


If someone is beating themselves up all the time replacing the time spent
beating yourself up with positive reinforcements will have a big change. It is
the lose of time beating yourself up that really hurts and why thought stopping
is so effective in these situations. To differentiate imagine a person who
isn't constantly beating themselves up, but still feels inadequate, positive
affirmations are attacking that particular problem.


In any case, glad it is working for you.

wane

mcmlxvi

wax


Telling myself I am valuable, and believing it and putting it into
practice have proven to be entirely different animals.

vs9823

I disagree.

Many times, whether or not a person is happy *can* be dependant on what other
people think of them...and many times is.

Let's say the source of a person's unhappiness is the fact that they can't get
a GF or BF. Said person can ask someone out on a date, but it is ultimately up
to the person asked whether or not to go out on the date (the same applies to
trying to make a 'regular' friend).

If getting a job would make you happy...you can apply for a job...but you don't
really know if the boss is not going to like you for some petty reason like
your looks, do you?

When someone has a good job, it's because someone *wanted* them in that job or
pulled strings to get it for them.

If a man has a girlfriend, it's because a girl *wanted* him as a
boyfriend...for whatever reason.

If the feedback you receive from people is that you are generally unwanted,
sure....you can spend all of your time at soup kitchens helping the
unfortunate, but that won't necessarily fill in the voids of what is causing
the unhappiness. It may bandage the unhappiness, but not cure it.

Your theory looks good on paper, but it is essentially fairy tale thinking. And
real life for many is not Cinderella.

michael harrison

Yes. And this very fact is what creates a common
paradox. The more you try to get people to like you,
the less they will.

The more you care about what other people think of you, the less attractive
you will be.
It's a real downward spiral.

I was lucky enough to be in a position to actually stop caring about others
thoughts of me.
Self love is very important for this.
If you can do that, it makes others thoughts a lot less
important, and then the way out of shyness is very clear.
Without self love, what else do you have but other peoples opinions of
you???

I think shyness comes in many different forms, and I appoligize for mabee
coming accross a little one sided.

o_zean

I agree with the original poster. I do meditation too and I really
think self hypnosis can help people out with their shyness. It is 100%
true. You can be a better ***minicator if you are more relaxed. It is
all about breathing. And of course, the best thing to do when you feel
shy, is not to think about your shyness on that moment. Just try to
swift to other toughts. I tend to NOT think about what I have to do,
like telephone cals, go to the doctor et etc. It is worthelss to think
about it. You will end up like a nervous Mickey Mouse.

So how can we control our thought. Meditation! Hypnosis! It helps! I
felt great 3 months. I told myself I was beautifull. Nobody was
allowed to **** me and **** up my life. But then Ifelt into depression
again when I retried to think about my shyness again. Once you think
about it, you feel sad. So let it go. Accept your shyness. And I am
still shy. always will be. I will never take meds. I will solve this
on my own. everybody can do this! You only need to find that switch to
turn off your shyness sometimes. We are cuaght up in negative emotions
and these toughts control us.

O_Zean


m22.aol.com>...

michaela

I didn't see the original thread... I like affirmations too.
Some have worked for me just like that <clicks fingers>.
Yet others still don't manifest no matter how much I repeat them.

Anyway, I just want to add (if no one else already has) that it's a
good idea to claim it as yours NOW. If you say "And I will not be
afraid to ask women out." you are putting it into the future and it
is therefore still unreachable.

Michael's suggestion is pretty good. How about "Women find
me attractive" or "Girls like me" etc.?

Apologies if I'm out of context here.

- Michaela