l d blake

Alt.support.crossdressing could be a valuable resource for a lot of people.
There is an opportunity here for a profoundly oppressed class of people to
find pride and happiness. It is a shame to see it laying unused, with only
sporadic conversation and very few real discussions. The potential here is
enormous... why are we wasting it?

The current state of this newsgroup has been almost entirely engineered by one
individual (Diane Lask). For nearly 10 years now it's been her pattern to
attack any crossdresser or trans***ual who shows any sign of coming out of the
closet. The ones who are out of the closet get the treatment she's given me...
lies defamation, insults, slander, frame ups... she doesn't care how she
discredits us, so long as we don't actually get it together and form a
cohesive group. Nobody really knows why she's doing this, in fact I seriously
doubt SHE knows why she does it... it appears to be a mental illness with her,
at the very minimum she's a very aggressive stalker. Over the years a couple
of troublemakers have picked up on her game, they come and go, they spout
their crap and get tired of it but Lask is always here.

The troll/stalker's main tactic is that instead of refuting your points of
discussion they attack you personally. They KNOW it lands right on your pride
and they KNOW you will react strongly to being slandered. It works even
better when they lie about you because now you are both defending your honour
and correcting disinformation... But --believe me-- it never works, never
has, never will... the minute the slander jock dumps on you the lie is out
there and whatever you say in response will be seen and depicted as denial or
cover up. The more you try to correct it, the worse it gets. By the time you
write that first rebuttal, they've got you and they KNOW they've got you. Not
only are you arguing with them personally... you are no longer providing
support and comradery for your peers. Every time you respond to one of them
you are giving them exactly what they want!

Yes, it took me 10 years to figure that out. The whole situation is totally
entrapping and when in it one doesn't think clearly about what's really going
on... and it took several weeks without a computer in the house before I
finally saw the situation for what it was/is. I was being mercilessly played
with by a psychopath and a bunch of "mee too" fools who thought they'd join
the fun.

But, the fact remains... the situation here is almost entirely the result of
her constant interference with reasonable conversation. The way to end it is
provided in the software we use to read these newsgroups. It's variously
called a "Kill File", "Bozo Bin", "Ignore List", "Blocking Filter", etc. Look
around your menus, almost all newsreaders have them... To make this newsgroup
back into a decent place to discuss crossdressing and transgender identity,
just put the idiots in your Kill Files and carry on.

For example: In Forte Agent, just right click any message, slide down to
filters and click on Add Kill Filter. Troublemaker gone.

Be aware that when you do this, the ****wits will escalate their attempts to
get a rise out of us. They will post wilder and longer messages, more often.
We are after all depriving them of their kicks... like an addict they are
going to up their efforts to get a "fix". Things are going to get ugly for a
while, but you won't see it because of the kill filters you've set up. Let
them rant and rage, let them say what they will... eventually they will get
the message and they WILL give up. Many have come and gone here, none of them
have persisted beyond being ignored... Kill Filters do work.

This newsgroup has been very easy to troll, in large part because of the timid
nature of it's participants. Someone looking to screw things up only has to
post a couple of messages and everyone runs for the hills. Sadly this is a
pattern in the transcommunity, we simply give up and retreat whenever the
slightest thing goes wrong. So long as a troublemaker can get such a big
"bang for the buck" response, they will continue to harass this group. If
this newsgroup is ever going to be anything but a waste of disk space, if WE
are ever to be anything but a community of cowards, hiding in closets and
scared of our own shadows, we have to stand up to this kind of adversity. We
have to do it here and we have to do it in real life.

In the big world the way we stand up to bullies --and make no mistake this is
school yard bullying at it's most childish-- is by simply carrying on with our
lives. These people pick on us because they think us unwilling to stand up
for ourselves. We send off signals that literally tell these people "It's OK
to mess with me". We send them by our demeanor, an attitude and a posture
that says "I have something to hide" which just begs some people to get on our
cases. We signal weakness and they attack, just like a pack of dogs attacking
a wounded animal. If we stand up to them they will almost always back down,
surprised by being confronted. Just like in the school yard, the way to beat
a bully is to not let them beat you.

The same applies here. Usenet may be less important than real life (or at
least it should be) but I can think of no better place than here to take those
first baby steps towards dealing with the shame and fear that lets these
bullies have their way with us. Here, of all places, it is relatively safe to
stand up to these fools. The same anonymity and distance that makes them
brave can make you brave... and the best way to demonstrate that bravery is by
IGNORING the troublemakers. Confrontation is what they want, disruption is
what they want: to stand up to them, don't give them either. Like you would
with a bully on the street, give them the exact opposite of what they want.
In this case, that means give them nothing. If you see someone attacking
another person personally, just skim your menus, put them in your kill files
and continue on talking to your friends as though nothing happened. If you
are personally attacked, simply toss the fool in your filters. The biggest
disappointment in their lives will be that you don't respond...

Bullies, especially the online ones, derive power from getting people to yell
at them. The only real power anyone has here is the ability to piss someone
else off and the troublemakers count on that as part of their own happiness.
They are at their best when we are at our worst. But, when we are at our
best, they can do their worst and all they will do is disappoint themselves.
The simple "lack of response" tactic is the only and best response you can
give an online stalker/troll/bully/troublmaker/****wit or whatever you want to
call them.

Think of the potential here... we could be discussing transgender rights,
transgender equality, getting out of the closet, dealing with spouses and
others who need to know, ways to live openly transgendered lives and on and
on. This newsgroup could be at the center of a truly cohesive movement that
ends centuries of oppression, fear, shame and guilt. It could be the doorway
out of the closet. It could be the birthplace of transgender pride. Instead
it lies silent, almost entirely because of the efforts of a single
--admittedly persistent-- troublemaker who can be gotten rid of as easily as
applying a few mouse clicks...

I've had all the known flakes in my kill files for a couple of months. There
have been a few very pleasant conversations here, even a little dissention
without the place erupting into flames. If you do the same, it can be like
that all the time... We CAN make good use of this group and lets face it, we
all know there are plenty of others subscribed but too timid to post. The
answer is to read for a while get the idiots in your kill files before you
ever post... then join in!

So what say? Game to set up some blocking filters and have some real
conversations about crossdressing and transgender issues...

The idiots can't hurt you if you don't see their spew...

--
Laura

phnxbldrt

Hi Laura,
I am finally getting it. Diane has posted nothing but hate mail for you.
I think itas time to ignore her but how do I set up Netscape to do
that? I dont see an ignore feature or kill file feature? Ay hints for a
netscape user?
Hope

l d blake

Yep, now you're getting the idea. Notice also that I haven't responded to any
of it in over 2 months. Lask can rant and rage all she wants...I won't even
see it, her garbage is deleted a mere fraction of a second after it's
downloaded. (Notice the improvement in my mood? <G>)


Well, hon, not to blow you off or anything but I'm not a software helpline and
I don't even play one on television.

The only software I have current information for is the software I'm actually
using (i.e. Forte Agent). So the best I can suggest is that you break all the
rules and actually read the help files... <G> Worst case... call their
24hour free helpline, advertised on their web page and ask them how to do it.

(FWIW... their website actually brags about "Easy Filtering"... so it would
be, like, really stupid of them to not explain it in their helpfiles.)

Secondly, if you are doing web reading, like at Google, you're SOL for filters
unless the webpage itself provides them (Google doesn't). The only working
answer is to get newsreader software instead of reading from webpages.


--
Laura

dawn

look in the help for "block sender" or "ignore sender", use those key words.
Sorry I cant be of more help, but its been years since I've used netscape

Dawn


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l d blake

Me too... their website says they have them... but I don't know where.

....and welcome back! How's things been?


--
Laura

l d blake

"News" only if you actually believe the crap on that website.

Please do the smart thing. Toss the ****wit in your kill files and let this
group go forward without us having to contend with you responding to the
bullshit anymore. A response --any response-- is all Lask needs... it doesn't
matter who responds, or in what manner... all she needs to get her hate-fix is
to know she's being read.

Bernadette... if you want to see a new and better experience here, you NEED to
stop responding to Lask and her kind.

Stop feeding the trolls!

--
Laura

phnxbldrt

Hi Laura,
You're not blowing me off you just didn't have the answer. But thats ok.
I figured it out. I am now trying Outlook Express it has a block sender
feature. Thanks
Hope

diane

Lyle has already started claiming that he created this newsgroup ....
same pattern as so many years before....... the record of those
years (and what he will inevitably do again) is at http://www.trannytrolls.us
for anyone to see.

People who say things like Laura Blake said: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=qcmjos4vp77v89al2m2bbnssgkn5i8f1k6%404ax.com&OE=UTF-8&output=gplain

and.... Laura Blake said: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=vxt49.1435%24Re1.49137%40eagle.america.net&OE=UTF-8&output=gplain

and who's personal lives consist of.... Laura Blake said: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=33ea1591.5904162%40news1.sympatico.ca&output=gplain


and who do things like:

Lacey Leigh, author of the book, "The Emancipated Crossdresser" , said
to Laura Blake: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=3D24A583.722295A%40LaceyLeigh.com&OE=UTF-8&output=gplain


and like:\
An anon poster writes in 1997... http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=52n881%24c4e%40lex.zippo.com&OE=UTF-8&output=gplain


don't change....:Lyle has been a troll for many years.....just as he
is right now....

l d blake

Yeah that's it... that's my story and I'm sticking to it <G>.

Actually it's been some time since I used Netscape mail and, you're right, I
really wouldn't know how to set up filters in it.


OE is OK... just be sure to turn off the function that automatically opens
attachments... it can result in viruses being installed on your machine.

As an alternative to all the above, you might like to try Forte Agent, you can
download an eval copy at http://www.forteinc.com I've used most of the readers at
one time or another and, personally, I like the Forte product best. "Free
Agent", their give away version doesn't have filters or archive blocking so
you will need to get the full shareware "Agent", Version 1.8 is the best, if
you can find it. (Drop me an e-mail and I'll reply with some setup tricks I
use...)

--
Laura

jenice bay

Diane Lask is a nobody....
Clue up Laura....you and Diane can NOT disrupt things here.
We all have control.
Duhhhhhhhhhh
Jenice Bay http://www.jenicebay.com