jnj

Hi everyone! This is my first post with this group. When I found out I was
pregnant, I started posting to misc.kids.pregnancy Not long after I started
posting, I had a early miscarriage. I'm not even sure how far a long I was
because I had just came off of the pill. Unfortunatly, I had some bad
advice from the other newsgroup. Like saying getting pg right when you come
off of b/c is okay....Turns out its not! Although some people can have a
healthy pg after coming off of bc, sometimes its not all out of your system
and that causes your body to reject the pregnancy. Well anyway, I wasn't
expecting to get pregnant right away. When I did I was so surprised and
with each passing day became more excited. Its wierd how badly you can want
something you never knew you wanted. Know what I mean??? Well I had a ob
appointment for the 22 of sept. That had to be canceld because my ob fell
and broke her ankle. I finally got to see her yesterday. She said
everything looks good, and she thinks that I won't need a D&C. I'm still
bleeding but she didn't seem too worried about it. I'm just ready for it
all to be over. My hubby and I won't be able to try till after 3 regular
periods. One of the worest parts was that we had told our families! I
really wanted to wait till after the 12 w so called "safe" period, but my
hubbys gpa and great gpa recently died. So my hubby decided to tell his mom
to kind of cheer her up. Now I feel as if I've let everyone down! I think
it would have been due in early may and my mother in law was so excited and
hoped its bday would be the same as her dads(the one that just passed). I
haven't been too upset, but like I said I just want it to be over with. I
find that I'd rather friends and family not say anything about it. I mean
they don't really know what to say anyway and they usually don't end up
being helpful. Well now I'm just waiting till we can try again. Sorry this
was so long. Thanks!

Julie

chele

Julie,

Welcome to the group, though I am so sorry you are here because of the loss
of your baby.

I wanted to tell you that I do understand the feeling of letting everyone
down. I felt the same way during each one of my losses...I felt
responsible, even though I know logically, I wasn't. I felt my body let ME
down, therefore, I let everyone down.

I hope your wait to TTC again seems very short.
Hugs,

--
Chele
Co-Moderator
soc.support.pregnancy.loss

amazon

First, I'm sorry for your loss.

Second, I know what you're saying, and I know why you're saying it --
but you know, you *didn't* "let everyone down". Surely you didn't have
this m/c by choice, so -- lose the guilt.

I know it's hard, when you're in mourning for your loss, to not think
that you did it, but the fact is, some babies start, but aren't meant to
go to birth. We don't know why.

A FWIW: when I first got pregnant, we told everyone, and I lost at 17
weeks. When I got pregnant again subsequent to my first loss, we told
my MIL, and my doctors, and my best girlfriend, and that was it -- until
I was about 5 months along.

It's not a guarantee, but some women are more fertile (or at least they
get pregnant easily) after a loss.
--
aMAZon
zeszutko at nycap.rr.com
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

kay

Julie,

I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you might be blaming yourself a
bit for this, and I can relate as I've felt the same way. We want to know
why such things happen, and when there aren't any answers, we tend to blame
ourselves.

You said,
<<Unfortunatly, I had some bad advice from the other newsgroup. Like saying
getting pg right when you come off of b/c is okay....Turns out its not!
Although some people can have a healthy pg after coming off of bc, sometimes
its not all out of your system and that causes your body to reject the
pregnancy. >>

It sounds like you are blaming yourself for becoming pregnant soon after
coming off of birth control pills. I don't know what kind of birth control
you were on, but I have not heard that birth control pills can cause one's
body to reject a pregnancy. Do you know which chemical is of concern?

It might help you to know that it is extremely common for infertility
specialists (reproductive endocrinologists) to put their patients on birth
control pills the cycle immediately before IVF or artificial insemination.
They are in the business of getting people pregnant; their and their
clinics' reputations depend on their success rates. If birth controls had a
negative impact, I doubt they'd use them. ....so try not to be so hard on
yourself.

Best wishes, -Kay