david

i guess they're used to hearing this kind of thing from others, but not
me. voices are torturing me again, they've gotten worse through out the
day. They're not vocies, either. Other people know about them so
they're real. impulses are there again, like the photo in the
tulsapolice.org webstie of the most wanted, with a blank spot there,
enticing me to pound the living shit out of my head. it was just for my
ip address though, so nobody else witnessed it.

lisa in mass.

please try not to cut tonight, david. you know that the voices
tell you things that hurt you. pounding your head isn't good,
either. please be careful. do you have someone you can call?

-lisa

david

x-no-archive: yes


Hi Lisa,

I just wish I could get over the feeling that someone is doing this to
me (the bad stuff, anyway). I emailed a conversation I had written to
my brother to the CIA. I imagine they already know about it. Nobody
tells me much, I guess thats ok. I have a number to call if I need to I
think I will today.

Worst part is that they keep changing my meds around, I need to get
stable. They're trying to take me off the serequel, I did well on about
a 1000mgs of it. I'm also on 4mg resperdol. I think that's one way
they're torturing me, is with the meds, and lawn mowers.

not feeling self-destructive now.

david

Thanks for being there last night, I feel ok now, but last night and
this morning was really stressful. I'm sorry if my post was so
disruptive. Fortunately I didn't follow through with any of my
thoughts.

David

lisa in mass.

your post wasn't disruptive. i'm glad you did. also glad you
didn't hurt yourself.

-lisa