lachlan

...... last night, I have a nice week of depression to look forward to!

Went out after work yesterday evening with Angela, who is leaving my work to
train as a teacher.
Had a couple of pints, then started heading home. But I was bursting for a
pee, so I went into the "Solid Rock Cafe" to use the facilities. Our bass
player was there and I ended up getting very drunk with him and his wife.
Last thing I remember is telling them how jealous I was that they had each
other and how it was so nice to see a couple who were so happy together.

Working at 9 this morning, I was 3 hours late. Boss was ok about me going
to make time up through the week. Felt like death all day. Glad to get
home. Now I am horribly, horribly awake, despite 200mg of Clomipramine.

Headwise, not feeling too bad yet, but the storm's a-comin' next week.

Pish!

lachlan

...... last night, I have a nice week of depression to look forward to!

Went out after work yesterday evening with Angela, who is leaving my work to
train as a teacher.
Had a couple of pints, then started heading home. But I was bursting for a
pee, so I went into the "Solid Rock Cafe" to use the facilities. Our bass
player was there and I ended up getting very drunk with him and his wife.
Last thing I remember is telling them how jealous I was that they had each
other and how it was so nice to see a couple who were so happy together.

Working at 9 this morning, I was 3 hours late. Boss was ok about me going
to make time up through the week. Felt like death all day. Glad to get
home. Now I am horribly, horribly awake, despite 200mg of Clomipramine.

Headwise, not feeling too bad yet, but the storm's a-comin' next week.

Pish!

poppyzee

do you feel better when youre not drinking?
becky

lachlan

Yeah, much!
I don't start really feeling depressed until a few days after drinking, but
when it hits me, it really hits me.
If I stay off the booze then I generally feel a lot more positive about
life.

poppyzee

round
becks

lachlan

It's definitely not a drink problem, cos I don't let it get to that stage.
I normally go out without drinking, but sometimes I do. Unfortunately I
have the genetic predisposition to keep drinking once I start, because booze
gives me a very strong feeling of euphoria, similar to how some of my
friends describe taking "E", Maybe that's because I am on medication too,
but I think some studies were done where people who got a stimulant effect
from drinking were more likely to keep on drinking whereas people who get a
more sedative effect tended to stop at a few drinks. All of my siblings
either have, or have had a drink problem at some point, as does my mum and
most of her side of the family, and they all have the same attitude of too
much never being enough once they start. The bad bits are when the alcohol
I drink somehow stops my medication working a few days later and I get very
down, sometimes to the point of "proper" depressive symptoms I had when I
was actually having an episode. I think it might be something to do with
alcohol activating some liver enzymes which also break down clomipramine,
which would tie in with the effects not coming on til a few days later.
So....... I know the risks, so why do I still drink?
Cos I am a stupid b*****d sometimes!

poppyzee

know why but towards the end of my manic phase i wanted to remain on a high
silly really because drinkings legal i think we deny stuff associated with
it...not saying you are ...just something you said.....if i didnt have kids
id be taking x instead anyway hope you work it out....xx
becks