michael d. henry

I have never been one to ask for help, but it seems like I might have get
used to it. Feel like I'm about the blow a head gasket. The tears are
puddling up on the keyboard as I am trying to write this. I know that
everything will be OK in time, but right now in the mean time. I am fighting
depression like I have never felt before. I have such mixed emotions going
on right now that I feel like a celestial yo-yo. I am looking forward to the
future like I haven't in years. This fucking dragon has made my life really
hard, so it is good to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
It's just this mean time. We have to prepare to lose everything we have
worked all these years for. I know that they are just possessions, but it
just really hard not mention our name will be shit as far as getting
anything financed in the future. I never would have considered using any
kind of anti-depressents before, but if they will help level me out, I have
to reconsider. I need some facts from real people, not doctors and
salespersons. I have a pretty good handle on shit as far looking at things
realistically and accepting them. I just feel under so much pressure that I
feel like I'm going implode and explode at the same time! I have been out of
steady work for 1.5 years, been doing A.C. work which been about to kill me
physically. Doesn't come near paying the bills, can't work right now even if
there was work. AC company is shutting down anyway. My wifes company is
shutting down in Sept. and she might have a job until Dec if we are lucky. I
need to start treatment soon, so insurance is going to be hard to get. There
is no way we can keep our house if she loses her job, so the prospect of
having to having to pack our shit up and move in with my mother in Irving is
about to fuckin kill me. Not that I'm not thankful that she does have a
place for us to shelter in the storm, I know that many many people havee it
so much worse than me. Sorry this so long, I'm about to stop crying. This
seems like the only way right now fight the demons that seem to be so intend
on wreaking havoc on my life. I love weed!!! It has been my anti-depressent
forever and works better than any chemicals I have ever tried, but
unfortunately we can't afford it anymore. Music is my other
psycho-therapist. It just doesn't have the same effect as it does with a
buzz. Gotta go, really rambling now


Ok, I'm a little better , Just need to know what anti-dep I need to avoid
and which ones work(with music)

<g> I'm ok....really

perado dez

hey Michael. sounds like things are really piling up there on you. i learned
after finally being diagnosed with hep-c that depression and some mental
confusion can be symptoms of hep-c as well. the depression can make those
problems just really loom up and scare the shit out of you.

you're a lot further ahead than i was on this. first you have sense enough
to speak up and talk about what's happening to you and ask for feedback. i
let this shit push me into seclusion too much.

check out the following link in terms of health insurance here in texas for
people who don't have insurance. there are several in a local support group
here who have gotten on and it does cover hep-c and tx for hep-c. obviously
the rates are a lot cheaper for non-smokers.

http://www.txhealthpool.com/

also Roche who makes Pegasys has a program for helping people out of work
which pays for the meds. that is the biggest cost of the tx.

http://www.rocheusa.com/programs/patientassist.asp

i know what you mean about the risk of losing everything you've worked for.
that hurts. i worry about a lot of the same things, but so far my fears have
been worse than reality. the depression can do that too.

even if you had to move back in with family, that doesn't mean you're in
that situation forever. if things get too dicey, cut your losses, sell off
what you can, make the move and stay on top of tx. if you qualify for ssd
because of the hep-c, you may qualify for some job training from TEC. i
don't have any links there but i'll check with some of the people here who
mentioned they had.

which by the way... have you been able to locate a local hep-c support
group? i tell you this group is great but a local support group is just is
important to surviving this shit. being able to talk to people who
understand what's available locally and being able to talk face to face with
people with the same problems helps . if you check out the texas liver
coalition's site they have a listing of local support groups. they are the
largest sponsor in the state for hep-c programs. they don't keep up with the
web site that well, but i've called them before and they are really helpful
on the phone as well.

http://www.texasliver.org/

these are all things that have helped me Michael. i wish i felt like
dragging myself over there and thumping your head good and see if that
helped but i doubt i can thump that hard. if you want to talk on the phone
email me and we'll work it out. i'll call you. ok?

hang in there. it'll get better... then worse... then better... then
worse.... then after a while you stop worrying about it because it get's too
confusing to keep up with.

Dez


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Mike, I know exactly where you're coming from about the money, hard
earned posessions and independence. The loss of most things near and
dear is hard to take and the financial burden of being sick seems to be
a seldom talked about side effect. I achieved financial meltdown over
this disease too. After I divorced my wife, I was going to buy a new
house with the 50 grand I had hidden away. Four years later I'm broke,
in debt, and don't make enough money to support myself. I'm one step
away from having to rely on someone else to take care of me.

I know this may not be much comfort, but when it's all said and done,
you'll be alright. You're going to have to sacrifice alot along the
way, even bite the humble bullet.

The one thing you should feel grateful for is that you have a loving
wife to help you thru this emotionally. That means more than all the
posessions in the world. You're a lucky guy when you consider that.
You're also lucky when you consider your've got family to provide you a
place to stay.

It's ok to cry about it, I did too. Now I just accept my situation and
do the best I can with it.

There are ways to get medical help without insurance if you're willing
to do the legwork. We'll help you.

I use Celexa as an anti-d. It works really well for me but I know there
are other drugs just as effective. Get to a doctor and get a script.

I love ya, man. Dump your stuff on us more often, it'll lighten your
burden.

Elmo

http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile

http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum

shawn

My heart goes out to you bro!! I've been on Zoloft for
almost 2 years now. It's helped me allot. We've thought
about bankruptcy a number of time but have managed to just
keep our heads above water. At least it will keep you from
losing your house and cars. Who needs credit cards anyway!
--
Regards,
Shawn


level me out, I have


I have been out of


if we are lucky. I

seem to be so intend

my anti-depressent

tried, but

other

it does with a


I need to avoid

hippiechik

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad and I think all of us here can relate
first hand to all those feelings. I am proclaiming to be the poster child
for Zoloft. I love it especially since I've gone up to 100 mg. It has worked
well for me.
hc

lu tze

See? This is why this group needs you.

--
Lu Tze

Whale Oil Beef Hooked.

bluehound

Oh Michael,

I'm so sorry. Life is so fucked up sometimes. What a bummer.
I'm looking at having to move in with my middle daughter and her
husband, and their 1 month old baby. My wife and I just can't afford
anything in San Diego on one income. If I can't work we're screwed.
She's been working lots and lots of overtime and extra shifts to try
and get caught up on our bills but it's like swimming in quicksand.
The faster you go the deeper you get. She's getting burned out. I
feel like she's resentful of me not 'doing my part' and working more
right now, just before I start tx. I'm just so tired. I can barely
work my schedule now. We're tring to figure ways to down size. Funny
what you 'really' need and don't need. I wish I knew more about
insurance. I thought I saw at the drug comp. web site that they have
a very 'proactive' program of providing thier medication for free when
necessary. This was the Peg/Copeg people. I don't know if it was
just hype or really the truth. Hang in there. Just remember after
you get better you can work like a dog again and get your material
things back. Even your good name. Say...how did you get HCV and
still have a good name?
As far as finicial I can't help you there but I did have to file
Chap. 7, about 9yrs ago and I couldn't believe how the creditors came
running to loan me more money. They know you can't file for 7 more
yrs and they have you until then. Also we had to file because of my
wife's medical prob. (one surgery wiped us out). It was amazing how
explaining that fact to the lenders, that it was because of medical
problems not over spending, really helped. It did for us. We've
owned two houses and three new cars since we filed. We had to pay
outlandish interest rates but we could always find a lender when we
needed it.
Hang in there Michael. I've tried Zoloft and it worked really
good for my depression. I really 'evened' me out and I liked it but I
had to stop it because it had...'sexual' side effects. I would 'lose
it' right in the middle of sex. I mean right in the middle all of a
sudden...opps..what happened..where did the 'Little General' go? So,
stopped taking that little sucker right away and the problem went
away. My GP told me there were "lots more in the same family that
don't do that", but didn't want to try. I didn't really feel I was
that depressed anyway. I also have been married to Mary Jane for
about 35yrs. It really helps me and I can't imagine quitting.
Michael, hang in there. Get on a antidressant, it will help. Hope
you feel better soon. DD

chop

ok . . . ask youre doctor for a 2 wk supply of xanax which will make you
feel better within 20min. and also ask for zoloft or paxil for the long term
.. . . drive youreself over to the ER _rite now_ and just get it over with .
.. . stop spiraling . . . print out this whole thread and give it to youre
doctor to read . . . im sure he will agree

chop

--
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russ tanner

Hey Mike, your doing the right thing here venting. It sure helps to get
things off of your chest and were all here for ya.

I can understand the ups and downs. And it's damn sure allright to cry!! I
do!! Can't laugh for real if you don't cry for real now and then.

I have been on Zoloft for the last 8 weeks I have been on tx. I think it has
helped alot in keeping my moods more even. But I do have my moments and do
some crying too..

Take it one day at a time, sometimes it's one minute at a time...

Take care man..
--
Russ Tanner
Palmer, Alaska
email address is spoofed, you'll figure it out!
http://www.tannersacre.com

michael d. henry

Thanks everyone... today is going to be a better day!!!!

Now I gotta go climb in someone's attic for a while to fix their AC....It's
only supposed to get up to about 98 today

Bye, Mike