6th April 01:54
new drugs (depression headache)
D A M N I T O L:
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T:
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N:
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as ****agers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
P E P T O B I M B O:
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
D U M B E R O L:
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R:
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N:
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get ***** now?"
B U Y A G R A:
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N:
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T:
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E T:
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as
nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it