mmfurgs

every once in a while i wake up and for some reason the world is
giving me a glimpse of what i've been missing. it usually lasts a day
or two and I ride it out as long as i can, enjoying every un paranoid
moment. a wave of outgoingness and love for people sweeps over me and
i milk it for as long as i am blessed with the light. it takes a
little longer for it to fade than it does to appear and it really
sucks because people that are used to my lethargic disconnected self
seem like excited little children to me when i'm feeling good, but
they don't know i'm starting to go under again and are still smiling
at me and making eye contact, and then i have to turn my back on that
friendly innocent child and turn that person back into someone that i
don't want to talk to. what's it like to be happy like that all the
time, not bouncing off the walls happy but, what's it like to enjoy
the company of people? I look at people like psych drugs. I know
that i am less depressed, anxious, and paranoid when i have a steady
flow of socialization. at the time of socialization i really don't
give a crap but I can sleep at night, my level of depression goes down
when i'm social. I don't want to be with people, i need to be with
people. I can't imagine wanting to be with people, how healthy is
that, to enjoy being social with people, not to grin and bear it but
to enjoy it, that's the stuff! I need a beer. I probably have 6 good
days a year, 30 hellish days of complete insanity, 300 days of stale,
irritating existence, 20 manic days, and the rest escapist days lost
in the computer or anything else that lets me forget about myself.

have a nice day.

affinity

Thus spake mmfurgs@yahoo.com (peacepipe):


I had a shit day, thank you.

grigoruk89

You are doing fine. That is part of being human.

affinity

Thus spake Affinity <affinityEXPUNGE@trojanmedia.org>:


Peacepipe, that was insensitive of me, my apologies. I can enjoy
people's company these days (at least for short amounts of time).

It is possible. It helps if you don't beat yourself up about your social
phobia. Easier said than done, I know.

mruk4u

Just wanted to say, that everything you said there, I tend to both agree
with/and, identify with, totally! It's like you've just said it ALL for
me./-Thanks!

-And, may You have a NICE day, too!/;-)


Subject: sometimes i have a good day
From: mmfurgs@yahoo.com (peacepipe)
Date: 15/01/04 23:33 GMT Standard Time
Message-id: <60f28fe2.0401151533.3273e729@posting.google.com >

every once in a while i wake up and for some reason the world is
giving me a glimpse of what i've been missing. it usually lasts a day
or two and I ride it out as long as i can, enjoying every un paranoid
moment. a wave of outgoingness and love for people sweeps over me and
i milk it for as long as i am blessed with the light. it takes a
little longer for it to fade than it does to appear and it really
sucks because people that are used to my lethargic disconnected self
seem like excited little children to me when i'm feeling good, but
they don't know i'm starting to go under again and are still smiling
at me and making eye contact, and then i have to turn my back on that
friendly innocent child and turn that person back into someone that i
don't want to talk to. what's it like to be happy like that all the
time, not bouncing off the walls happy but, what's it like to enjoy
the company of people? I look at people like psych drugs. I know
that i am less depressed, anxious, and paranoid when i have a steady
flow of socialization. at the time of socialization i really don't
give a crap but I can sleep at night, my level of depression goes down
when i'm social. I don't want to be with people, i need to be with
people. I can't imagine wanting to be with people, how healthy is
that, to enjoy being social with people, not to grin and bear it but
to enjoy it, that's the stuff! I need a beer. I probably have 6 good
days a year, 30 hellish days of complete insanity, 300 days of stale,
irritating existence, 20 manic days, and the rest escapist days lost
in the computer or anything else that lets me forget about myself.

have a nice day.
<<<

sooo sad

being human is like being in pain all the time. ThT is soemtimes. Sometimes
you really enjoy life, but in my case that is when i am alone and with my
music. sure, we all need poeple...someone who understand you, cares and
thinks you are cool , shy or unshy.

The world is hard. Very hard..Hard as steel , but we need to melt it down to
water and live with it and never give up!

SHYNESSSSSSSSSSSS is beautifulllll


news:<60f28fe2.0401151533.3273e729@posting.google. com>...

graham

Hiya,

Thanks for making your post! I know exactly how you feel and remembering
those good days has made me happy.

You gotta fight for those 6 days! Caus eventually, on those 6 days, you'll
build up a collection of people who you won't fear (as much!?) and 6 days
becomes 7 ... then 8 and we're on a roll!

Btw: I find that if I fear someone especially - Maybe theres a reason to
fear them?

~Graham

graham

Good Good