url, as posted by someone else:
http://www.salon.com/sex/feature/200.../index_np.html
No intercourse, please -- we're enlightened
Sensitive, feminized and resentful, today's young men no longer have the
sexual authority to please a woman -- no matter how much oral sex they
perform.

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By Ann Marlowe

Oct. 1, 2003 | It was after seeing "Thirteen" and noticing the display
rack of handcuffs at Sam Goody on Sixth Avenue that it hit me: the
polymorphously perverse, gender-is-just-a-construct future that radical
feminists and academics used to dream of has actually arrived. Men no longer
have any authority, either in their own eyes or in women's, the genders are
distinguished socially mainly by stuff they buy, and eroticism has fled from
the bedroom to the store. It's sexier for most of us to go shopping than to
make love, and so we do. As a friend said when I told her I'd spent much of
the weekend in bed with a man, "Who has time for that? The weekend is the
only chance I have to do my shopping."

And handcuffs -- well, seeing them at Sam Goody made me wistful. Once upon a
time, you could still shock a guy by pulling them out. I suspect that
there's a connection between the collapse of masculine authority and the
mainstreaming of S/M; neither gender is too good at distinguishing power and
authority and nostalgia for male authority can translate into fetishizing
symbols of power. Women secretly want men with authority, but they fall for
insecure passive-aggressive guys who view every aspect of life as a power
struggle, or for cranky killjoys or petty sadists.

The collapse of the patriarchy was supposed to make women happy -- we were
supposed to get more sex, freer sex, better sex, more loving sex and better
relations between men and women. If you went to an Ivy League college in the
last 20 years or had a professor who did, you probably heard something about
this.

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part of the problem is socioeconomic. part of the problem is that the
average women is not attracted to the average "feminist compatible" man.