Slykitten 2015-12-08 16:49:05
I’m asking for advice….
It’s hard to believe that it’s been just over 3 months since my grandma
died…. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it’s been for me to keep in
mind that when I pick up that phone to call, it won’t be her answering but
my grampa. I used to talk to her about everything.
about 3 or 4 weeks ago, a friend of mine found out she was pregnant. I was
excited for her and congratulated her and offered her any maternity tops and
baby clothes that she may need. she called me for advice, to just talk and
otherwise share her feelings…. no big deal…. she even expressed how
upset she was when her husband told her that maybe she didn’t need the risks
of being an older mom (over the age of 35) and to perhaps consider
alternatives…. needless to say, I was upset by this and I expressed that
to her…. that perhaps they need to sit down with the doctor and discuss
the risks and express their concerns and fears. now, for the last week or
so, all she’s been telling me is that she doesn’t want to be pregnant, how
she doesn’t want this baby, how she wishes she never got pregnant, etc.
so, why should I care right now? after all, it’s not my life, right?
unfortunately, I do care very deeply even though it’s NOT my life. that baby
that’s growing inside her deserves to be loved, deserves to know that he/she
is wanted. this “friend” obviously does not love nor does she want this
baby…. what makes it hurt so damned bad is that I had 5 miscarriages. I so
desperately wanted another child that I endured intensive hormone treatments
for my infertility. when it seemed as though it was futile, I gave up and
then one day I went to my doctor complaining of a sick stomach and a sore
throat. he wanted me to start up on antibiotics but I looked at him and
asked for a blood test just to be sure that I wasn’t pregnant. when the test
came back positive, I was awe-struck! I was also terrified that I’d lose
this one too…. but my little one is here and is so incredibly healthy! I
fought tooth and nail to have my children but this “friend” of mine does
nothing but complain and talk about how if she could, she’d make sure she
doesn’t have to go through the pregnancy. I know it’s not my place to say
anything nor do I have any right to impose my feelings and beliefs…. but
how do I deal with this? normally I’d call my grandma and she always seemed
to know how to help me…. even if she had no advice, she always
now, here’s where my question comes in….
would it make me a bad friend to tell this woman exactly what I think?
should I tell her how upset I get when I hear about how she doesn’t want or
love the baby she’s carrying? should I just cut off all contact with her?
I appreciate your advice!