Debster13 2015-12-08 15:51:41
Sorry, but I’m all upset and need to vent. I’m in the middle of a panic
attack, and my heart is about to pound out of my chest.
For about a year now, one of my husbands friends has been staying with
us. He broke up with his girlfriend and needed a place to stay. I’m on
disability, and my husband is currently getting unemployment and
finishing getting his degree, and we thought an extra $100-$200 a month
would help us out.
Anyways, it’s been almost a year and in all that time this guy gave us
only $200. We sat him down a few months ago, and thought we got
everything out in the open about needing him to chip in, but the
situation hasn’t changed. Our utility bills have almost doubled in the
time he’s been here, and we’re on a tight enough income, and can’t
really afford to support him too. (he’s only working part time right
now, so guess money is tight for him too)
It makes us so uncomfortable having to talk to him about this, but I’m
afraid we can’t avoid it any longer.
It’s been so tense around here that I can hardly stand it. I spend most
of my time hiding up in the bedroom, or trying to act all happy and
cheerful to lighten the mood. My husband has been taking sleeping
pills the last two weeks because he’s so stressed out that he can’t fall
asleep. It’s just a horrible situation.
I feel trapped and nervous just being in my own home almost all the time
Anyways, like I said,…just need to vent a little. Thanks for
Vanessa 2015-12-08 15:51:46
This is a terrible situation for all concerned. You and your husband have
been very compassionate by allowing this person to stay with you. However
enough time has passed for your hubby’s friend to get back on his feet. He
may only be working part-time but that’s enough to contribute to his own
expenses at the very least.
It is hard, but IMO it’s time to tell this person to leave. You have both
been very generous and helped his through a tough time. Now it’s his turn to
repay the favour. By leaving he will be allowing you and your husband to
live a stress free life. You must look after your own needs first. Often we
are way too nice for our own good.
It sounds like you have thrashed this out with this guy already and he
hasn’t changed. I know it makes you feel uncormfortable to confront this
person again, but you need to for your hubby and for yourself. Use a
non-confrontational approach. For example you don’t need to yell or blame
him for things. Simply state how the situation is making you feel, and the
outcome which you seek to make your life better.
Heygeno 2015-12-08 15:51:53
So what is your plan ?
Debster13 2015-12-08 15:52:00
Hi Geno, I don’t really have a plan, other then let my husband deal with
it. I’m terrible with any type of conflict. I can’t even return an item
to the store, or complain if they over charged me for something. I
mainly am just hiding out alot up in our bedroom and keeping to myself.
It’s my husbands friend, and his idea to let him come here, so I’m
leaving things up to him. debs