Mermaid 2012-08-08 06:16:47
I just sent this message below to the diabetes group. I think I’m really
He knows I have been under unbelievable stress at work especially with my
back going out
last weekend. I don’t know if I told you all or not. Last week is just a
I went out of town on business Thursday and on the way back he called me
on the phone and got mad at me for talking the same time as he did and after
hung up, I lost it. I was screaming at the top of my lungs going down a 3
expressway. Further on the way home I pulled into a church parking lot and
sat there in a stupor. I was actually afraid to come home. Then when I came
he was fine and had done something for me. I don’t know if I am going to be
able to get through another Christmas like this. Last year was awful. So
for Christmas cheer. I am thinking of going back to a counselor. I got to
someone. My self-esteem is the pits. The doctor said something about putting
me on Zoloft. I read about some of the side-effects and I really don’t want
to go there. I’m already taking Xanax to help me sleep.
Sorry guys about this. Not sure what I am going to do.
My husband has had diabetes for about 10 years. As he ages he is getting
forgetful, confused and very moody. And blames me for everything that
happens wrong. If he makes a mistake or quotes something wrong or remembers
something in correctly, I never bring that up. Just let it ride because it
would become ww3 if I did . I walk constantly on eggs for fear of setting
him off. And he hates his job too. It concerns me because it is almost like
he might be getting Alzheimer’s. Or is it a diabetic thing. He is only on
medication. Takes glucphage and glucatrol in the morning and glucaphage at
night. Right now his A1C is 7.1 He cheats on his diet all of the time. For
which I can do nothing about without making him more irritable. He also gets
dizzy every time he first starts eating then it passes. I love him very much
but my nerves are getting pretty frayed as I have lupus also and that does
not help much. He is 50 and I am 51. Just wondering about some of these
things so it will help me understand what is going on and what do I have
forward ahead of me in coping with his illness
What do you think?
Sharon 2012-08-08 06:16:56
Just wanted to send my sympathies your way. I know how hard it can be
when a loved one loses his cognition due to diabetes. My grandfater
died from diabetes, type 1. He had to choose his mind or his legs, due
to the meds side effects. He chose to keep his mind, but that went too,
and it made life extremely difficult for his wife, my grandmother, to
handle. He would accuse her of stealing his money, or that someone was
coming after him with a gun. He’d fall down and she couldn’t lift him
herself, etc. He was horribly nasty but he wasn’t himself, it was the
disease and the meds causing it, and so she didnt’ want to put him in a
nursing home. She kept him home the whole time, until he got too sick
to be home, and he ended up in the hospital and passed away shortly
aterwards. He was in his late 70s when he passed on. When a doctor
discovered he had diabetes, he was in his 40’s, and the doc wanted to
know how the heck he was still breathing, he was so sick and didn’t know
his whole life it was diabetes.
Just telling a story so you know you’re not alone. Do you have family
to intervene? Do you think it’s likely the diabetes causing the
outbursts? I know my hubby used to flip out like there’s no tomorrow
when his blood pressure was really high, like 170/98 or something crazy.
We didn’t know this was the cause until he went to the doc for
something unrelated, and they wouldn’t even tell him for fear of causing
him a heart attack right there. When his bp dropped, he was much calmer.
I think that therapy for you might be the way to go, whether or not it’s
the diabetes causing the outbursts. It’s rough dealing with all of this
c*** on our own. I know hubby and I have been through life’s wringer so
early in life, and we are in need of some couples counselling. We are
going asap to sort life issues out for us individually and together.
It’s not a bad thing, it’s not admitting you’re incompetent or wrong.
It’s a great way to get out things and solve issues with a third party
who has no interest in the soap opera and has no biases at all.
Anyway, good luck, and know you aren’t alone.
Kcat 2012-08-08 06:17:02
”hurting people hurt others”
the question is – what’s hurting him and is it physiological or
emotional or both.
I don’t have a lot of insight on this one – I have heard that diabetes
can involve some pretty serious mood swings and fixations when it’s
not under solid control. And I’ve seen it in action. Since he’s
“cheating” on his diet, then it seems likely that this could be
triggering his temper.
I wish I could help. You are in my thoughts.
J 2012-08-08 06:17:31
I googled and read their responses..they are a great bunch over there. 🙂
Errr..want to watch that..accidents happen. Pull over when the phone rings so
you won’t be in nor cause a crash.
Or turn it off until you can cool down or pull over to see what it’s all about.
Stress can really toxify a relationship and I see people “pushing each others’
buttons ” and learned behaviours here.
Sometimes we have to “tune out/turn off” until we can deal with issues when
If I had the power and the money, I’d send you both to see Dr. Phil..
Past history is a predictor of future behaviour, he says, but that can be
changed if both parties want it.
J -off my soapbox