Silver 2009-01-24 17:14:49
Just trying to get a sense of where things are this week. I’ve had a
bit of a rough patch over the weekend, being down, crying and suicidal
again. I’ve just had so much trouble getting things done, and family
stresses add to everything to make it so much worse. Same old
arguments over money issues (I rely on my family for groceries, and
they buy a lot of junkfood. I don’t eat much relatively speaking,
since things have improved some, I’m able to run out and get meals
from some fast food places and the like (yes, its not MUCH up from
junk food, but we’re talking about a meal vs candy bars and cookies.)
It’s very frustrating to have to deal with people who nickel and dime
overspend on such garbage, and then complain about the expense of a
few things I ask for (Example: My family goes and buys bottle Coca
Cola, imported from Mexico, because its made with real sugar, and
quite expensive, then complain about the not all that special soda I
ask for–Dr Pepper)
If money were THAT tight, you’d think they’d stop buying so much junk
food, and I give them money monthly for support most of the time (I
didn’t this month due to vet bills for my dog, who I’ve been highly
stressed about an ongoing health issue of..)
Just all crashed around my ears.
So, that’s where I’m at this week, how about the rest of you?
Dave 2009-01-24 17:14:52
Man, I’m sorry to hear you are having such a hard time again, Silver. But
it sounds like you have legitimate gripes where your family is concerned.
All I can say is, I wish I could help.
We have been overspendingon Christmas, I suspect, and are going to have a
hard time come January. But it’s too late to try and change anything.
We’ve already spent the money…
I wish I knew what to say about your family, other than they sound like real
jerks. I really hope things smooth out for you.
Take care, and keep posting. We care about you.
Ricki 2009-01-24 17:14:55
Oh, Silver. I’m sorry and sad to read your post. To let you know you
aren’t the only one in the world who has been crashing and suicidal,
I’ll admit that I’ve been there most of this week, as well.
Your family issues sound awful and I’m so very sorry 🙁
I’ve also had trouble getting things done and had to admit to hubby
that I was in a very, very bad place. He’s been helping me a LOT with
all of this Christmas stuff. He’s out doing some last minute shopping
right now while I’m doing the last minute wrapping.
Like Dave, we’ve overspent, but oh well.
I wish you were close; you could join us for Christmas dinner and get
some good warm food in your belly. You’ve got me worried. 🙁
I may not be online much at all the next few days, but I *am* going to
try to check here for you to see how you are doing. Please keep in
You are cared about. A lot.
Silver 2009-01-24 17:14:58
Don’t worry too much, I won’t starve or anything, just likely to be
more junk food than I like. (I mostly eat sandwhiches, but that’s
partly because I hate cooking in my families kitchen.)
I love cooking and miss it, but my energy levels don’t stay high
enough to do it regularly, anyway (My own kitchen would help._)
Christmas food will probably be over done. (Since my sisters tend to
splurge as well as my mom and dad on that) so I’ll probably be
decently nutrition wise after Christmas. Just “before” right now thats
I just need to find a way out of this house, an apartment of my own
would be wonderful. If I had a car. Sighs. Ah well. Someday I’ll be
able to again.
If I could get a car. Then I could find a cheap apartment and likely
double the money I have coming in under support. (Since I still am not
sure when/if, work will be something I can do again)
It’s not terrible compared to some things, just small miseries I
Ricki 2009-01-24 17:15:01
I can’t help it. It’s my nature to worry. I’m a mom, you know.
Seriously…I eat tons of junk food and need to do more healthy
cooking, but like you said, the energy levels just aren’t there.
Okay. Silver, do you mind if I ask how old you are? You may have
said and I just don’t remember. It’s not a big deal if you’d rather
not share that information.
Again, I’m being nosy-do you work outside the home?
Oh, I see. Are you on disability? No judgment at all there, just my curiosity.
Yes, I totally understand that. Working is *hard*. I have to go out
every weekday and put on my “normie” face. It’s not easy sometimes,
*especially* this time of the year. I work at a church and I have to
be nice (hee) to any church member who comes in, and whatever. It’s
not that I don’t WANT to be nice..but it’s hard when I’m down in the
pit. And of course, no one knows that. They don’t know that I’m on
meds for depression/anxiety.
It wears me out some weeks. I sleep a lot on the weekends.
Perhaps you could work part-time? That’s what I did. For quite a
while. It’s not quite as tiring.
Anyway, I’d like to ask more, but I fear that I may offend you and I
certainly don’t want to do that. I do care. I wouldn’t bother to ask if I didn’t care.
We all have those, I’m sure. Believe me, I’m certainly not
trivializing anyone’s “small” miseries. Those small miseries can
build to a very unhappy existence. I’ve experienced that.
Hang in there. Ok?