Zarah 2007-05-04 18:11:09
Claudio mentioned that there appeared to be only males in the group so far,
so I thought I’d speak up and encourage some constructive conversation by
introducing myself and my situation.
So here we go, the basics are that I am a 23-year-old lesbian. My (almost)
22-year-old partner was diagnosed with BPD and schizo-affective before I met
her. She is also in recovery, with nearly 2 years of sobriety under her
belt. Lastly, but certainly not least, she used to be a cutter.
When I realized that I loved her regardless, I tried reading everything I
could about her illnesses. But it seemed like most of the things I found
online were the same information, over and over, in different forms. I
wasn’t learning anything. I quickly figured out that the best way to have
my questions answered was to ask her directly. Sometimes I felt pretty
stupid asking some of the things I did, but she always has answered me the
best she could.
Her most recent therapist told her that her BPD diagnosis is incorrect. I
am more inclined to consider her “in recovery” from BPD. She hasn’t cut
since late November of last year, she’s gone back to school part-time and is
getting straight-A’s so far, and she is looking forward to going full time
when she can get her transcripts from her former college. She’s even
talking about the types of jobs she could get when she’s done with school
(she’s been on disability for a few years now). She’s lowered the dosage of
her anti-psychotic medication, and wants to talk to her new therapist and
med prescriber (when she can get an appointment) about lowering it again as
well as taking less of her anti-depressent.
Do I think that BPD is a “spiritual” problem? No, certainly not. Although
I will admit that while she has gotten better, her spiritual life has
improved, I would be more inclined to agree that the spirituality is a
result of her better mental health, not the other way around. Do I think
psychiatrists and psychologists do more harm than good? Well some of them,
sure – but I also believe that one should be just as selective about finding
a mental health provider as they are about finding a child-care provider. I
use the comparison because just as a baby-sitter or daycare monitors your
child, so a mental health provider monitors your mental health.
Anyways, I’ve rambled long enough. I too hope to see some constrictive
conversation around here, and a place where we can voice our concerns and
questions and experiences.
Sole 2007-05-04 18:15:27
Your post is refreshing. Your girlfriend is the first person I’ve heard of
recently that’s experiencing great strides in recovery…besides myself.
You may not want to toot your own horn but I’m very interested in knowing if
you (and she) believe that you’ve been a big help in her recovery? I ask
because my husband is/has been in mine. I call him my “mercy manifest.”
It’s hard for me to explain just how he helped so much but he did.
Unconditional love, patience, personal strength, keeps me grounded in
reality without invalidating my feelings, creates peace in our home…and I
could go on and on.
Things aren’t perfect. I still get frustrated very easily but I don’t peak
with anger like I did. I still get depressed but I don’t want to die
everday. I still feel like the people in my life suddenly don’t love me
anymore, without cause. But the feelings don’t last nearly as long or have
nearly the same impact on my actions.
Medication helped a lot, to bring things under control, in the beginning. I
was taking low doses of lithium (as a mood stabilizer), Clonapin, and
Adderal for A.D.D. When I became pregnant, I had to stop taking all of
them. Man was I scared but we had created an enviroment that made the
transition fairly easy. I’ve not been on the medication since, although
there have been plenty of times I’ve considered it.
So yeah, back to my original thought. How big a part do you think you play
in your gf’s recovery?
Again, thanks for your refreshing post,
Claudio ehring 2007-05-07 12:07:29
I have to apologize – I thought you were male , too 🙂 – The problem
however was on my site, as I simply don’t know anybody named sole and
thought it was a male’s nick.
Anyway, thanks for your thoughts answering Zarah.
Interesting reading and still a bit “unprotected”.
It’s no easy task to be honest and still protect yourself, at least not in a
newsgroup opened for anyone.
Zarah 2007-05-08 18:04:14
Actually, I don’t know when she was diagnosed. I would say, probably about
4 years ago. “They” say she is BPD and schizo-affective.
I have enough trouble finding an allergy medicine that works – I can’t
imagine the frustration at finding a combination of anti-psychotic and
anti-depressent that would work 😉
That was part of the problem with the latest combination of therapist and
med prescriber. The therapist only met my partner after she made some huge
strides in recovering, and rarely took her prior diagnosis seriously. The
meds quack… well he basically downright refused to listen to her and
wanted to start her meds over back at square one even though she already
knew what would work and what wouldn’t.
Fabulous! I’ll see if she’s heard of it.
Sole 2007-05-08 18:09:09
No need to apologize. What site?
Agreed. 🙂 So what’s your story? Sole