thepetalchemist

HOWEDY michelle,

That's pretty common here abHOWETS.

Yeah, there's a lotta that goin arHOWEND.


Your dogs are DYIN from STRESS INDUCED AUTO-IMMUNE
DIS-EASES. It takes many forms but it's ALL THE SAME.


Did he ask you abHOWET that pronged spiked
pinch choke collar you had her on? The Amazing
Puppy Wizard was AMAZED to watch the vet on
Animal Planet tellin a carsick dog owner that
he didn't know HOWE COME dogs are afraid of
riding in cars, totally overlookin that pronged
spiked pinch choke collar that wasn't botherin him...

Did he tell you HOWE to break your dog's constant self mutilation?

RIGHT... on accHOWENT of NUTHING will CURE STRESS
when the dog's ABUSER is ABUSING him...


INDEED? You mean AFTER EVERY BEHAVIOR PROBLEM has
been sufficiently REPRESSED and the dogs doesn't
have much to WORRY abHOWET, like matty's dog and
his SEIZURES... but they didn't quit till he was nearly five.

Dog trainin AIN'T LUCK.


Date: Sun, 22 Aug 2004 01:33:24 GMT

Subject: Re: Diet Suggestions?
HOWEDY Gordon 101,
"Gordon 101" <> wrote in message news:zP_Tc.120865$J06.38916@pd7tw2no...


Your dog has The Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME.


Your dog doesn't have a MEDICAL problem.

Right. He's had ALL of his BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS
REPRESSED which CAUSES the internal organs
and systems to FAIL.

THAT'S The Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME.


Those are all STRESS and INSECURITY which
CAUSES the internal failure of the organism.


Perhaps you don't live in a safe, trusting environment?


Naah. Not unless you overlook the CAUSE
of the problem and continue to post here.

The Puppy Wizard's FREE - TEN STEP
DIAGNOSTIC / REHABILITATION PROGRAM

HOWEDY professor "SCRUFF SHAKE and SCREAM
'NO!' into ITS face for 5 seconds and lock IT in a box
for ten minutes contemplation" dermer, research
professor of ****-ytic behaviorISM at UofWI,
"Marshall Dermer" <der...@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu> wrote in message news:be06ls$j6i$1@uwm.edu...


The Puppy Wizard believes your dog's health problems
are the physical manifestation of emotional distress.


Ever consider it's your dysfunctional method of intimidating,
punishing, forcing control, and mishandling him thru your
preferred lunacy of duminance, intimidation, forced restraint,
and your SCRUFF SHAKE???

Your dog Maxie The Magnificent Masturbator has OCMD
(obsessive compulsive masturbatory disorder), a dissasociative
anxiety relief mechanism. It's his ONLY defense mechanism,
bein as small as he is. The Puppy Wizard's GIANT breed dogs
would simply SCRUFF SHAKE YOU, and BE DONE with their
ANXIETY, as YOU DO HIM.


INDEED. Bribing and withholding treats increases anxiety,
which is restimulated every time the "command" he's been
"taught" using withholding of bribes is requested, even
many years into the future.

Your little dog Maxie The Magnificent Masturbator
has his DAILY ATTACKS of ANXIETY on any day
you fail to expiate his ANXIETY thru five miles of
bicycle chasing.

IS THAT NOT SO, professor SCRUFF SHAKE?


SHOWENDS like the same same same same
symptoms CHILDREN manifest, who DON'T
WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.


HOWE HIGH is his fever? The Puppy Wizard KNOWS physical
symptoms such as "idiopathic epilepsy" seizures, "undiagnosed"
intestinal and digestive disorders, ALL OCD behaviors, endocrine
malfunctions, and other PSYCHOSOMATIC disorders can and
usually are, CAUSED BY STRESS.


NORMAL temps are 101.5 - 102. THAT SUGGESTS to The
Puppy Wizard that Maxie The Magnificent Masturbator's
"FEVER" is PSYCHOSOMATIC, a result of non physical
STRESS, as in the "Spike & Squirt" phenomena described in McProtection Training.


Like HOWE a kid who's trying to get HOWET
of goin to school today...


Like HOWE a kid who's SUCCEEDED at gettin HOWETA school today.


Like HOWE a kid who's SATISFIED at having got HOWETA schoolYESTERDAY.

These symptoms are COMMON, professor.

The Puppy Wizard has SEEN EVIDENCE in the
DEAD DOGS who've HAD NO SYMPTOMS while
boarded at The Puppy Wizard's kennels PRYOR
to being MISDIAGNOSED by "THE BEST" VETERINARY SPECIALISTS.

SAME SAME as HOWER friend melanie chang has SEEN
with her dog Solo, while she was on vacation and Solo had
the BLISS of a NORMAL kennel ENVIRONMENT.

KERCHING! KERCHING! KERCHING!


Well, it IS fortunate for the VET that you're able to afford
such luxury on a professor's salary.


Well, as time endures and you continue to MISHANDLE him,
the physical symptoms will likely continue to exacerbate,
PROFESSOR. You'll get your "medical" findings, bye and bye, no dHOWET.

The CONSTANT intermittent STRESS CAUSED BY MISHANDLING will break dHOWEn ANY organism.


KERCHING! KERCHING! KERCHING!


PERHAPS your vet "KNOWS" sumpthin The Puppy Wizard KNOWS, professor?

PRECISELY. You cannot expect ANYTHING to override the
constant restimulation of STRESS produced by INTIMIDATION.

KERCHING! KERCHING! KERCHING!


These and other OCD related behaviors can be duplicated EZ, professor.

DO YOU NHOWE?


KERCHING! KERCHING! KERCHING!


INDEED, professor SCRUFF SHAKE and SCREAM 'NO!' into
ITS face and lock IT in a box for ten minutes reflection," dermer.

First and ONLY WON question is, DO YOU CRATE Maxie The
Magnificent Masturbator? That could be the primary cause of
his STRESS, as at the age of 5 years, he's unlikely to have
any behavior problems which you have not SCRUFF SHAKEN
HOWETA HIM.

Crating RESTIMULATES and REINFORCES phobias, professor.
You'll see EVIDENCE of THAT in Crystal Arcidy's reports on her
FREE WWW Wits' End Trained dog Starr. See "Starry's Scary Night."

The Puppy Wizard has a recommendation and an option which
MIGHT resolve ALL HOWER problems, professor. The reason
the suggestion is modified by MIGHT is, on accHOWEnt of The
Puppy Wizard cannot control the environment if HE'S not there
to SUPERVISE implementation of the TECHNIQUES HE offers
you today.

Here's HOWE to CURE Maxie's OCD behavior's
and life threatening physical health dilemmas:

First, STUDY your FREE copy of The Puppy Wizard's
FREE WWW Wits' End Dog Training Method Manual.

Second, CALL The Puppy Wizard with all members of Maxie's
immediate family so we're ALL on the same page and NOBODY
will CONFLICT with or STRESS him in ANY WAY.

Third, STOP all BRIBES, CORRECTIONS, INTIMIDATION, CRATING and
discontinue excessive physical exercise to
expiate his anxiety. We WANT his behavior problems to
manifest SO WE CAN EXTINGUISH THEM.

Fourth, The Puppy Wizard will LOAN you for FREE,
HIS "AMAZING, MIRACULHOWES, INCREDIBLE"
MAGNIFICENT Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will And
A Rooster Did And A ****atoo Or Two Did Too)
Machine, and YOU will AGREE to FOLLOW HIS
INSTRUCTIONS.

Fifth, you or any family member will call The Puppy
Wizard IMMEDIATELY and relate details and ask
advice for appupriately controlling EACH and
EVERY instance of Maxie The Magnificent
Masturbator's inappropriate puppy behavior problems,
instead of tellin him "NO!" or otherWIZE negatively
interacting with him.

Sixth, you and each member of your immediate family
pack will work five minutes every other day learning
HOWE to expiate your dog Maxie The Magnificent
Masturbator's anxiety thru the MAGICK of The Puppy
Wizard's Four Step Heeling Pattern Exercise as articulated
in your FREE copy of The Puppy Wizard's FREE WWW
Wits' End Dog Training Method Manual, to TEACH Maxie
there is NOTHING TO FEAR in MAKING MISTAKES.

Seventh, at the end of thirty days, you will report HOWER
findings to your veterinary, the head of your university
department of ****-ytic behaviorISM, and to the Whole
Wild World...

Eighth, IN RETURN, you will have your dog Maxie The
FORMER Magnificent Masturbator returned to EXCELLENT
health, and The Puppy Wizard agrees to F****VE and
FORGET ALL PAST INDISCRETIONS and SUBVERSIVE
activities you've committed against The Puppy Wizard and
all mankind...

Ninth, you will serve as EMISSARY and sever
as EXPERT WITNESS for The Puppy Wizard
and ENDORSE HIS METHODS and MACHINE
as the WON true way to CURE ALL animal and
child behavior problems and bring PEACE,
HEALTH, and PROSPERITY to the Whole Wild
World.

Tenth, IF YOU FAIL to succeed after your thirty day
EXPERIMENT, you'll agree to ship Maxie The Magnificent
Masturbator TO The Puppy Wizard at HIS EXPENSE,
for a two week stay FOR FREE, to PERFORM THE MAGICK HISSELF.


It don't get no goddamned better than THAT, professor.


Thank you,
Jerry Howe,
Director of Research,
BIOSOUND Scientific
Director of Training,
Wits' End Dog Training
1611 24th St
Orlando, FL 32805
Phone: 1-407-425-5092 http://www.doggydoright.com
The Puppy Wizard. <}TPW ; ~ ) >

ANY QUESTIONS, DUMMIES?
,-._,-,
V)"(V
(_o_) Have a great day! / V)
(l l l) Your Puppy Wizzzard. <}YPW ; ~ } >
oo-oo

Here's professor of ****-ytic behaviorISM research
at UofWI, marshall "SCRUFF SHAKE and SCREAM
"NO!" into ITS face for five seconds and lock IT in a
box for ten minutes contemplation," dermer:

"At this point, "No" does not have any behavioral function.
But, if you say "No,"pick up the puppy by its neck and
shake it a bit, and the frequency of the biting decreases
then you will have achieved too things.

First, the frequency of unwanted chewing has decreased;
and two, you have established "No" as a conditioned punisher.

How much neck pulling and shaking? Just the
minimum necessary to decrease the unwanted
biting.

**********IS THAT A CONSISTENT 5 SECONDS?************

When our dog was a puppy, "No" came before mild
forms of punishment (I would hold my dog's mouth
closed for a few seconds.) whereas "Bad Dog" came
before stronger punishement (the kind discussed above).

"No" is usually sufficient but sometimes I use "Bad Dog"
to stop a behavior. "Bad Dog" ALWAYS works," marshall
dermer, research professor of ****-ytic behaviorISM at
UofWI. For MOORE animal abuse, please visit dr p.

BWAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!

That's INSANE. Ain't it.
The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{}TPW ; ~ } >

P.S. Contacting Dr. P:

Please note that due to the large number of
requests I receive, I can no longer give free,
personal advice on problems related to dog
training and behavior.

In order for me to give such advice we would
have to "talk" about the problem at length.

That is, I would need detailed information about
the dog, it's environment and routine, the problem,
and the situation in which the problem occurs.

Thus, this type of consultation takes time which
I cannot afford to give away for free.

If you wish such advice, please see the information
I have provided about my K9 Behavioral Consulting
practice. Another alternative to obtaining personal
advice is to participate in e-mail, chat room, &
newsgroup discussions.

P.P.S. BWEEEEEEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!!

YOU'RE FRAUDS, drs p. and dermer!

Either DEFEND your LIES, ABUSE And
Degrees or get the heel HOWETA THIS
BUSINESS.

"If you talk with the animals, they will talk with you
and you will know each other.
If you do not talk to them, you will not know them,
and what you do not know you will fear.

What one fears, one destroys."
Chief Dan George
"Rootman" <no-...@nowhere.org> wrote in message news:vd83djr9fv0cc0@corp.supernews.com...


---------------------------------------------------------------

"(Also, it is best to killfile posts from the
few regulars here who are either ill-
tempered, ill-mannered, or just plain ill.),"
--Marshall

The Puppy Wizard sez:

"A Dog Is A Dog As A Kat Is A Kat As A
Birdie Is A Birdie As A Child Is A Child
As A SP-HOWES Is a SP-HOWES.

ALL Critters Only Respond In PREDICTABLE INNATE
NORMAL NATURAL INSTINCTIVE REFLEXIVE Ways
To Situations And Cir***stances Of Their Environment
Which We Create For Them.

ALL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ARE
CAUSED BY MISHANDLING.

Damn The Descartean War of "Nature Vs Nurture."
We Teach By HOWER Words And Actions
And GET BACK What We TAUGHT.

In The Problem Animal Behavior BUSINESS
FAILURE MEANS DEATH.
SAME SAME,
For The Problem Child Behavior BUSINESS.

"If You Talk With The Animals,
They Will Talk With You
And You Will Know Each Other.

If You Do Not Talk To Them,
You Will Not Know Them,
And What You Do Not Know
You Will Fear.

What One Fears, One Destroys,"
Chief Dan George,

adapted with permission from his FREE
copy of The Puppy Wizard's FREE Wits'
End Dog Training Method Manual.

"(Also, it is best to killfile posts from the few
regulars here who are either ill-tempered,
ill-mannered, or just plain ill.),"
--Marshall

The Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME is the perfect
synergy of love, pride, desire, self will, greed,
ego, fear, hate, arrogance, disbelief, jealousy,
embarrassment, embellishment, shame, guilt,
anger, aversion, attraction, revulsion, change,
permanence, enlightenment, insult, attrition,
and conditioning.

It's the perfect fusion of The Word...,
in the physical.

It's time for the dog training industry and
the universities who TEACH "behaviorists"
to DEFEND THEIR METHODS against 100%
NEAR INSTANT TOTAL SUCCESS as PROVEN
by the C-HOWENTLESS NEARLY INSTANTLY
SUCCESSFUL FREE WWW Wits' End Dog
Training Method Manual Student's REPORTS,
after they've "TRIED ALL OTHER METHODS
and FAILED".

ALL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ARE CAUSED BY
MISHANDLING. Damn The Descartean War of
"Nature Vs Nurture." We Teach By HOWER Words
And Actions And GET BACK What We TAUGHT.

"The day may come when the rest of the animal creation
may acquire those rights
which never could have been withholden from them
but by the hand of tyranny.
The question is not can they REASON,
nor can they TALK,
but can they SUFFER?" -
- Jeremy Bentham

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised
for the good of its victims,
may be the most oppressive.
Those who torment us for our own good
will torment us without end,
for they do so with the approval of
their own conscience." -
- C.S. Lewis.

"Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny",
Aeschylus (525BC-456BC),
Agamemnon.

"Only the unenlightened speak of wisdom and right
action as separate, not the wise. If any man knows
one, he enjoys the fruit of both. The level which is
reached by wisdom is attained through right action
as well. He who perceives that the two are one knows
the truth."

"Even the wise man acts in character with his nature,
indeed all creatures act according to their natures.
What is the use of compulsion then? The love and
hate which are aroused by the objects of sense arise
from Nature, do not yield to them. They only obstruct
the path." Bhagavad Gita, adapted by Krishna with
permission from His FREE copy of my FREE Wits'
End Dog Training Method manual.

"The greatness of a nation and its moral
progress can be judged by the way its
animals are treated." ~ Mohandas Gandhi --
Adapted with permission from his FREE
copy of The Puppy Wizard's FREE Wits'
End Dog Training Method Manual. <}TPW ; ~ ) >

Force training JERRYIZES dogs...,
and GETS THEM DEAD.

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
-Arthur Schopenhauer

"Thank you for fighting the fine fight--
even tho it's a hopeless task,
in this system of things.
As long as man is ruling man,
there will be animals (and humans!)
abused and neglected. :-(
Your student," Juanita.

"If you've got them by the balls their hearts
and minds will follow,"
John Wayne.

The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{}TPW ; ~ } >