End the violence, make pcyhos stick with knives was Gun Control in DC (lo)
And lo, it came about, that on Tue, 5 Aug 2003 00:39:53 -0600 in
talk.politics.guns , Gary DeWaay <dewaay2spikeNOT@sio.moidco.net> was inspired
to utter:
On account of the children.
See Gary, some people seem to fear firearms so much, that they go "nuts" on
the subject. Apparently, these people spend most of their waking hours in
fearful struggle to control themselves, for they fear what they would do if
they were ever to even so much as touch a firearm. They know, know in the very
marrow of their bones, that were they to touch a firearm, their self-control
would snap, and they would be compelled by the dark power of the machined metal
to take up the gun and go forth and slay their family, children, harmless
strangers and defenseless innocents. This phobia about guns is a bit extreme,
but as long as these people stay away from guns, and out of positions of
responsibility, they will be fine.
But such is not the case. Many sufferers of this deferred homicidal
psychosis spend much of their waking hours struggling to maintain their
control. Aware of their daily struggle, and assuming (naturally enough) that
everyone else has this self-same daily struggle to prevent themselves from
suc***bing to the siren call of the firearms, the thought or sight of
individuals who not only are not concerned about such a disaster, or worse, who
actually touch firearms, or have them in their own house, causes them to panic.
After all, if you were convinced that you (and everyone else) were one
touch of a firearm away from going on a homicidal rampage, wouldn't you panic
to see a person who actually had one of those death dealing mind controlling
Totems of Evil Incarnate at hand? OF course you do.
So,were we to put a vending machine to dispense firearms (I notice that
Gary is Yet Another Liberal wanting Yet Another Government Entitlement Program
to "dispense" firearms, rather than let private companies sell firearms), the
mere sight of such a thing would cause those with a pathological fear of
inanimate objects to recoil in terror and flee in panic (or is it recoil in
panic and flee in terror? No matter.) - were we to put hose vending machines
on every streets, the number of panicked liberals fleeing in blind terror at
the mere sight of real guns, would cause serious arm to the community, not to
mention the risk of harm to children trampled by panicked liberals stampeding
in all directions.
Sot he reason we don't put vending machines on every street is simple, so
simple even a liberal can understand it.
"Its because of the children."
have a nice day, and do stay off the streets. Automobiles travel there,
and we all know what sort of homicidal maniacs those things are.
toodles
pyotr
pyotr filipivich
Next Months Panel: Suicide - getting it right the first time.
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