3rd April 20:02
Satire: Authors line up to be sued by FUX News
Ann Coulter Spontaneously Combusts
Pundit keeps talking while fully ablaze
By Andy Borowitz
NEWSWEEK WEB EXCLUSIVE
Aug. 26 ó
Conservative pundit Ann Coulter spontaneously combusted today during
an appearance on the Fox News Channel, sources at the cable network
ACCORDING TO THOSE who witnessed the bizarre incident, Coulter was in
the middle of an extended rant about liberal comedian Al Franken when
her face became beet-red and smoke began to shoot out of both of her
Then, almost without warning, Ms. Coulter appeared to burst into
flames, sources said.
The New York Fire Department immediately rushed to the scene to
extinguish Coulter, who continued to talk even while fully ablaze.
"We were dousing her with three fire hoses, but she just kept on
yapping," said Hal Reuss, a fireman who helped put out Ms. Coulter.
"It was freaky."
Meanwhile, outside the Fox News Channelís New York headquarters,
thousands of publicity-starved authors congregated, begging Fox to sue
Since news of Foxís lawsuit against comedian Franken promptly sent his
new book to the top of the bestseller lists, a lawsuit from Fox is now
widely regarded in the publishing industry as the most coveted seal of
approval, even surpassing inclusion in Oprahís Book Club.
One of the authors gathered outside Fox was Stanley Dixon, an author
of several poorly-selling works of literary fiction who is so eager to
be sued by Fox that he has had his name legally changed to "Fox
Newschannel said that his latest novel, a coming-of-age story set in
rural Indiana entitled "A Sudden Fall," would now be retitled "The Fox
News Channel Can Bite Me."
I'm sure FUX is prepared to be sued by anyone willing to pay a small