seeker963

It's no news that I've been struggling here for some time. I've been
thinking a lot about the situation and I can't see any kind of
positive or productive way forward.

Someone from the group said something to me about being "a person who
struggles with the church". Giving in to the old reflex from
childhood that other people know one better than one knows oneself
because they are "objective", I've been unconsciously wearing the
label "Problems with the church" for the last few weeks and wondering
if I shouldn't just stop attending church altogether because of it.
Then I started thinking about all the people at church "in real life"
who I have problems with. "Oh! No-one. People at church – both my
former church and my current church – are positive and supportive. So
why have I labelled myself a person with "problems with the church"
when, in fact, I have problems with UKRC?"

Someone also asked me to think about what I get from the group. And,
thinking about it, I think the answer is what I *got* (past tense)
from the group. I came here to learn and I have learned. I came here
to make friends and I have made friends and I think I'll keep in touch
with many of you. I came here to share – in writing – my Christian
walk with others and I think this is the biggest disappointment.
Although I can discuss how many angels could dance on the head of a
pin – and sometimes have done – that's not primarily why I came here.

Whilst acknowledging that there are only a handful of individuals here
of whom I am frightened[1], I simply don't feel that I can go on for
the moment in this place. I can't function in a group where I have to
fear that something I say in good faith is going to spark an
expression of outrage or an statement about the insincerity of my
motives in being Christian. I think I could possibly be here if I
understood the dynamics going on, but I *don't* understand and no-one
seems to either be able or willing to explain it to me. (I assume it's
the former and others are simply comfortable and I'm not.)

I think that there is a sense in which I've become addicted to UKRC,
but I think I need to stop. Today is my birthday and it seems to be a
good day to start a new year afresh. I'm not going to make any rash
statements but I hope I can manage to make myself take a least a
year's sabbatical. God be with each one of you.

Pam

[1] Which is my way of saying that I have tried to take each and every
person here as an individual and not as a stereotype. And despite
apparent appearances, I don't think I have ever generalised in my own
head along the lines of "Fred believes X and does Y and because Barney
also calls himself a Pre-Raphaelite, he must be exactly like Fred in
every way."

pete broadbent

Well, you'll be missed. Sorry you find the climate so difficult. Carry on
with the pilgrimage.
--
Pete Broadbent

andy mcmullon

In missive <4cf6dbc8.0308220202.68eac2c@posting.google.com>
seeker963@hotmail.com (Pam) expounded:


And also with you.

I keep thinking I'll do something like this myself but I just can't
let some people get away with posting what they do without challenge.

Best wishes, Pam.

--
andy@mcfamily.demon.co.uk

nick milton

Happy Birthday Pam!

Why not lurk on the bank for a bit until you feel the moment is right
to leap back into the foaming waters?


nick

tony comer

Because when you lurk on the bank you realise a) that the foaming river
isn't the appropriate place for everyone, even if they can swim; and b) that
you are an air breathing mammal.

Tony
--
Paciencia y barajar

tony gillam

I didn't know we had a Jacuzzi. I thought it was a baptismal pool.
--
Tony Gillam
tony.gillam@lineone.net
http://www.bookourvilla.co.uk/spain
Sun, sand and sangria

steven

Some churches are better funded than others.....


Steven Carr
steven@bowness.demon.co.uk
http://www.bowness.demon.co.uk/

pam

No, I definitely don't think it's "good for me" at the moment and I need a
big and committed break. Thanks, though.

pam

Thank you for your wishes and for the kindness you have shown to me. I'm
most certainly carrying on with the pilgrimage.

pam

Forty-six[1] and I don't mind getting older because every year has got
better. :-)

[1] I tend to "promote" myself to the next year in February (6 month mark)
so it's not a shock when the birthday comes around. Only just found out
that my father does this too and I never knew that.