11th May 12:28
important marital news! (yoga mass yule wedding death)
funny, that wacky beable von polasm told us all about the gurl who
had to marry a dog, but he didn't tell us about the DONKEYS:
-> Five pairs of donkeys tied the knot yesterday in an elaborate
-> public wedding staged in hopes of bringing rain to the parched
-> south Indian metropolis of Madras.
I think beable is HOLDING OUT on us. wasn't he assigned to report
on all the animal marriages? is he trying to keep all that hawt
donkey action to himself?
just to show that I am more concientious about my duties than the
despicable beable, here is the latest black pudding/gelatinous
-> When Mason Cassady came upon the slimy mass Monday on the shore
-> of Arcadia Lake, he thought he was looking at something straight
-> out of a cheap horror movie.
-> ``It looked kinda like a small blob of something,'' Cassady, 29,
-> said of the mass, which was green and red and measured about 8
-> square inches.
-> ``It didn't really have a shape, so you couldn't tell what it
-> was,'' Cassady said.
no shape? OK, we can rule out the gelatinous cube, then, as well as
gelatinous tetrahedrons and other polyhedra.
and 8 square inches is rather wimpy for a blob. and green and red?
can't be a black pudding or grey ooze or ochre jelly. I bet it's
one of those rare yule blobs.
ooops, no, later in the article, we find out (via biology professor
Timothy Wood) that it's some common invertebrate, a bryozoa colony.
which, apparently, is not used in the manufacture of any brandname
vegetarian cuisine like Soylent Jelly.
the article then goes on to delve into the lives of "bryozoa lovers"
(take THAT, Scalia!) and mentions that Dr. Tim's favorite passtime
is to collect stories of people being attacked by bryozoa.
-> ``I've got a clipping from Florida where they found one and the
-> police came out and shot it,'' Wood said.
apparently, cops are no longer required to watch steve mcqueen's
training film illustrating the ineffectiveness of firearms on your
typical alien amorphous beast.
anyways, back to criticising beable for his failures as a journalist:
-> LESLEY Blackwell shares her Cooktown home with 65 wallabies.
-> They gather in her unfenced yard and wander through the house at
-> leisure, but Ms Blackwell has drawn the line at sharing her bed,
-> building a barricade to keep her furry friends out.
I was a little disappointed with the headline ("65 wallabies invade
home".) it turns out no wallaby invasion actually occurred. I was
expecting gun-totin' marsupials. furthermore, although this woman
is peacefully sharing her home with wallabies, she apparently DID
NOT MARRY ANY OF THEM! THE HARLOT!
however, the article *does* note:
-> the animals face hazards including hunting dogs, pythons, ROAD
-> TRAINS and four wheel drives, which are essential to navigate the
-> region's dirt roads.
ROAD TRAINS! in the post-apocalyptic world of mad max, only the love
of a woman stands between wallabies and death!
.... and if you think the post-apocalyptic world is far off, consider
this sign of the end times:
-> New York City dog owners who worry that their furry friends need
-> some stress management have a new option: yoga for dogs. ``Ruff
-> Yoga'' -- a so-called doga class aimed at relaxing the canine
-> denizens of this often un-Zen city -- is being offered once a
-> month in a downtown city park.
RUFF YOGA! the kind MEN like!
11th May 14:57
important marital news! (master)
Beable van Polasm <email@example.com> writes:
FOR THE MOST PART.
John Stone| If you talk to show how | Bruce [Lee]'s great-grandfather
----------+ much you know, you show | was one of China's greatest
how little you know. -- from the | samurai master swordsmen of the
film "Resisting Enemy Interrogation" | 19th Century. -- Adolph Caesar