3rd May 00:00
Odd request coming from me.... (easter bit way don shamanism)
I don't normally do this (you old hands gotta admit it) but I've just had a
very odd and difficult phone convo with the (not quite) other half.
He's in a really really bad way, very depressed, and I'm much concerned
about him. Jeez, I even think he said "I love you" very very quietly at the
end of the call. He's even admitted he would like some help dealing with the
patch he's going through but the counselling service at his workplace
doesn't get back until after the easter hols and I've no idea what the
waiting list will be like.
I would very much appreciate any appropriate help to get him through the
immediate week or so. I know sometimes you have to hit the bottom of the pit
before you can brush yourself off to climb out again but I'm scared that,
because he's totally on his own, he won't see the way out.
So, Mark in Leicestershire could do with a bit of a quiet hand. I don't know
if he would think of suicide as an option but I really don't want to take
'preciate your patience
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4th May 15:57
Odd request coming from me.... (able case primary myth)
Don't let a waiting list stop you. Have him get on the list as soon as
possible, but keep pursuing other alternatives in the meantime. The
big thing is that he has made the step of actually wanting help.
Ideally, getting to see a doctor as soon as possible would be ideal,
but until then, there are support groups, both live in person and on
usenet. Also get him in to his primary care doctor as soon as possible
to rule out ilnesses and conditions that cause depressive symptoms. A
big culprit here is the thyroid. The doctor may also be able to
suggest other steps to take while waiting.
Sounds like he has at least hit bottom- or somewhere near- and wants
help. That is the really hard part. He is not totally on his own, BTW.
He can- and has- called you. He needs to get together a list of people
that he can call when he is really feeling bad- people who will talk
to him and help him get stable- not people who will tell him to "snap
out of it" or tell him that he has no reason to be depressed. My list
has helped me more than once. Distraction is also very effective.
Ask him if he has had thoughts of suicide. If he has, talk to him
about it. It is a myth that asking depressed people about suicidal
ideation is risky. It is far riskier not to know and be caught off
guard by it. If he is suicidal, the big thing is how much planning he
has done. If he has the intention, a plan and the means to carry it
out, then he needs hospitalization- immediately. OTOH, in my case, I
have the ideation, a few plans, but i do not have (at this moment) the
intent to do it, and I also do my best to limit my access to means.
So, I have been managing to stay out of the hospital. So, it is not
necessarily an imminent thing, even if he has been having some
ideation- which he may or may not have. I think that since this is
worrying you, you need to ask. Blessings, Lucida