Tim chmielewsk 2009-11-08 07:16:12
When I arrived at work the other day I saw a truck on the street with a
“74 Karat” printing press.
I thought gold was too heavy and droopy to be used to build a printing
It would have been funnier if they couldn’t fit it down the alleyway next
to the building they were going to put it in, but that didn’t happen.
At least we don’t have to copy out these Bibles by hand anymore.
Kibo 2009-11-16 08:55:52
Well, 74 karats wouldn’t be heavy if you changed the gold into diamonds,
because then you’d have a printing press weighing about 15 grams, and
also you wouldn’t have to worry about it being 308% pure.
In any case, remember that regular printing type — the sort people
use every day if they haven’t heard of computers or offset presses —
is mostly lead, which isn’t quite as squishy as gold but does melt
if you breathe on it hard, which is why when the Allies bombed the
Klingspor foundry the basement became one big block of lead. If the
Germans had been sensible enough to make everything out of gold,
that tragedy could have been averted, and the Nazis would still be
churning out propaganda posters to this day instead of being reduced
to just running for governor of one of those states that’s a magnet
for crazy people. Also, in that alternative history, we’d now have
magnets that can attract all the gold in the world instead of states
that attract all the crazy people in the world except for the ones
that already settled in Waco or Cape Cod.
If I were Christian, I wouldn’t settle for a cheap _copy_ of the Bible.
I’d either own the original or tell the church to go screw themselves
for being too elitist to let me own the only real Bible.
So when are the people who do the
Good News Bible going to learn
how to draw more than half of
(I like the part where the Romans
nail Jesus to a big gamma after
he demonstrates his powers by
turning half a fish into three
halves of a fish.)