dr. evil

Please read carefully:

Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as
never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome
tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars
overseas, corporate & government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price
plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a myriad
of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must
come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going to
be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if
that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for
several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout
situation. But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, or about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost
of a large screen projection TV!) you can help an NHL player remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means
solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a
start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player it
could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or
on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more
than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical
insurance, but to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his daily
salary.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that
home entertainment centre, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or
enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you
sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, RRSPs and/or 401(k),
real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.
Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo
of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the
Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the
photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to
help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be
able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is (check
below):

[ ] Forward

[ ] Defenseman

[ ] Goaltender

[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
specific team - $10 per minute)

[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration of
the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along
with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob Goodenow
(Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear proudly on my
hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________ Telephone Number:
_______________________

Account Number: _______________________ Exp. Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _______________________ Exp. Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other


Signature: _______________________